Aloha Healing 10/1/2015

moonLâ’au Pau
Māhoe Hope 1

Today was a day of patience. Not much happening. Lost some financial support.

Diet

Raw foods and oatmeal. I did eat organic hummus with cucumber slices. Not sure if hummus is on the anti-cancer diet, but my body called for it.

Exercise

Did about 20 minutes of qiqong walking. Also, spent a lot of time in the sunshine. Got tired in the afternoon and had to take a nap. Overall, though, energy levels are pretty high. I don’t get tired walking up stairs anymore.

Relationships

One of my key relationships told me that they couldn’t support me and my treatments today. I’m learning to accept what is. We think that people will support us, but they don’t. We think that our mothers will protect us, but they don’t. Trying not to live in what I think should happen, and instead, live in what is happening.

Spirituality

Patience

Ahonui (patience) is calling. The whole day was asking me to be patient. I’d give myself a B+.

Kūkae (BM)

Some more blood today, although I still saw more sediment without much blood. Forgot to take a note card to keep track of BMs.

Aloha Cancer 9/05/2015

moon last quarterMoon Phase

‘Ole Pau

Màhoe Mua 5

I don’t meet any of the risk factors for rectal cancer. I eat healthy, do colon cleanses, don’t smoke, don’t drink, don’t eat meat. I have eaten oatmeal for breakfast every morning for almost 30 years. But one thing I did realize is that I tend to cook a whole bunch of oatmeal in the beginning of the week and warm it up in the microwave every morning. 30 years of microwaved food every morning could cause some damage.

Funny thing is that now that I cook the oatmeal from scratch every morning, I realize it doesn’t take that long. I’m not going to microwave anymore food. I wonder if anyone ever did a study on the rise in cancer rates in comparison with microwave sales. I remember when we use to put everything in the toaster oven. Now EVERYTHING goes in the microwave.

Am I sounding like an old man? 🙂

Diet

Same, but I’m trying to add some meals to maintain weight and energy levels. I’m getting really tired in the middle of the day.

Exercise

Did morning prayers indoors today and it was noticeably unhealthy. Something about the ground, the air, and the sunshine outdoors really supercharge the prayers and movements. Yesterday, I did about 45 minutes of qigong walking with a qigong master. Powerful stuff. Will post more about this in the future.

Relationships

Had a great Awakin Call this morning with ServiceSpace/Laddership leaders Natasha Rockstrom and Audrey Lin. Just being around ServiceSpace folks is healing.

Spirituality

Someone almost crashed into me while merging into my lane without checking their blind spot. This happens all the time in Cupertino. I honked to prevent getting hit, but then slowed down to let them in the lane. Small example, but i”m trying not to have pilikia (conflict) with anyone.

BM

Lots of blood today. Not sure if it is from the distance healing on Thursday. Just trying to stay patient.

Aloha Cancer 9/03/2015

kozo and wifeWoke up to talk to my wife after our 9th Wedding Anniversary. I told her that I have committed to her being my only lover for the rest of my life. I have kuleana  (responsibility) for her and my sons. I will be with her rain or shine, sickness or health, rich or poor, until death do us part.

It felt good to make this commitment. It puts a bigger picture around the daily conflicts or pilikia. We know that no matter what happens during the day, we will be there for each other. We will never abandon ship.

kit and berylI probably should have made this commitment when I said my vows during the wedding ceremony nine years ago, but I’m not sure I really understood them back then. Funny thing is that this weekend we are hanging out at Ocean Beach with my old friend, KIt, who was the officiant at our wedding. We have also agreed to re-take our vows in the redwoods on Monday.

According to Hawaiian spirituality, disease can come from conflict in relationships. Traditional ho’oponopono was a ritual to kala (liberate, cut) the ties that these conflicts have on us that cause us suffering and dis-ease. I believe I chose my wife before I came into this world to clear deep karma. If I don’t clear this karma, then i will not only die, but also need to come back to clear karma in a future life. Talk about life’s purpose!!!

I feel grateful to experience this clarity and take up this kuleana.

Diet

Same as yesterday. Avocados with almond humus. Eating beans tonight. Mangosteen and Apex. I started drinking honey and tumeric tea again. Will alternate with honey and ginger tea. Drinking some coconut water out of carton.

Exercise

Resting today. Not much exercise.

Relationships

Powerful bonding with my wife, Beryl. I feel like this is one of the most important centers of my healing. I am grateful that Beryl understands this and wants to support me. She cradled me last night like a baby for about 20 minutes. It felt so healing.

Spirituality

Said prayers this morning. Listened to my body and took a day off of exercise. Part of mâlama ko’u kino (nurturing my body) is to listen when it needs rest and give it rest.

BM

Still some blood in stool.

Sorry about the details, but I’m trying to document all the treatments and their effects on a daily basis. I want others who come after me to ‘ike (see/know) how to heal from this dis-ease.

Healing Cancer With Aloha

hawaiian sunset

How ancient Hawaiian wisdom can help heal a modern epidemic.

“No, No, No, you can’t refuse treatment; you have cancer,” the doctor was shaking his forefinger at me.

“I understand, but chemo, radiation, and surgery don’t feel right to me,” I explained.

The doctor shook his head and turned his palms toward the ceiling.

What this doctor didn’t understand is that I have always believed that there are many paths to healing. Refusing conventional Western medicine is not a death sentence in my eyes. In fact, it is one of the most healing things I can do for my body and my family.

I see this dis-ease as a message from my ancestors that I have some cleaning to do. What follows is my five prong approach to healing cancer with Hawaiian spirituality.

1. Wai

Wai means water in Hawaiian. Wai is sacred in Hawaii. Traveling thousands of miles across the Pacific ocean, Hawaiians knew that without water, survival was bleak. One of my friends told me about a colon cleanse that a Kahuna named Auntie Margret Machado used to host. The one thing my friend remembers is that “they had to drink choke (lots of) sea water.”

One theory about cancer claims that cancer grows due to dehydration, so I’m trying to flood my body with wai. I try to drink at least a gallon of spring water everyday. I also juice as much as possible, turning my meals into liquid.

2. Hâ

Hâ in Hawaiian means breath or more specifically “the breath of life.” Aloha means to be in the presence of “the breath of life” or the Divine. Using Aloha to heal from dis-ease involves breathing deeply into the Divine. I do a number of deep breathing practices from meditation to swimming.

Research shows that cancer is anaerobic and can’t survive in oxygen rich environments. Oxygenating one’s blood with deep breathing helps the body fight the cancer.

My friend’s father, who was an MD, was diagnosed with terminal cancer in the 1970s. Rather than do chemo and radiation, he chose to strap on a scuba tank and dive 20 feet under water off the coast of Hawaii. He would sit under the water for 20 minutes breathing the oxygen rich mixture. His cancer went into remission much to the amazement of the doctors at the time.

Unfortunately, I’m not a certified scuba diver, so I’m taking a supplement called Apex that uses nano-silver particles to oxygenate the blood.

3. Ho`oponopono

Most people who’ve heard of ho`oponopono are familiar with “Self-I-dentity” ho`oponopono popularized by Joe Vitale. Although I continue to clear my subconscious by repeating “I love you; thank you; thank you” over and over, I’m using a more traditional form of ho`oponopono to heal this dis-ease in my body.

In Hawaiian healing, they don’t just ask where it hurts and what you ate; they ask who you were with and what you said. In ancient times, a family would sit down and ho`oponopono a ma`i (sickness). facilitated by a kahuna (medicine man) or kupuna (elder). Unfortunately, there are not too many kahuna around, so I’m gathering my family members to have a healing session to clear any negative energy that might be lingering between us.

One of the greatest gifts of this diagnosis is that my family, who would never agree to sitting in a circle to talk about emotions, have consented to participate if it will help heal the tumor in my guts.

4. `Olu`Olu

I’ve always taken my body for granted. Actually, I’ve been pretty abusive to my body. When I used to surf, I would pull into waves that I knew I had no chance of making. It stroked my ego, but it thrashed my skin, limbs, and bones.

Even as a meditator, I would force myself to sit through excruciating pain in order to maintain the semblance of equanimity. This disease has made me realize that my body is my temple, so I’m taking care of it like it is a child. In Hawaiian, the term `olu`olu means to be gentle. If I am to heal this dis-ease, I need to be gentle with my na`au (guts) where the tumor is. I’ve cut all sugar, meat, bread, alcohol, and dairy from my diet. I nurture my intestines with fresh fruits and vegetables, freshly squeezed juices, and lots of water.

I also spend time each day rubbing my belly and telling it that I love it. My approach to the tumor is to kill it with kindness, not to poison it or cut it out. I feel that if I can heal in this manner, then I am getting to the source of the dis-ease and not just curing the symptoms.

5.`Âina

During meditation, I realized that my body is simply reflecting the state of the `âina (land). If you think about it, our planet has colorectal cancer–there is too much unprocessed waste that is poisoning the whole. A Chinese medicine doctor told me that this condition I’ve been diagnosed with comes from too much heat in the body. The earth also has too much heat that we call global warming.

The Hawaii state motto is “Ua mau ke ea o ka `aina i ka pono,” which translates to “the life of the land is perpetuated in righteousness.” I see this dis-ease as a challenge for me to be pono (righteous) in order to save the land and my body.

Pono doesn’t really have the religious connotations of righteousness. I translate pono as being in alignment with the Divine. Lately, I’ve been actively trying to get in line with nature. I walk barefoot on the ‘âina, hug trees, swim in the ocean, and try to get as much sunshine without wearing sunscreen as possible.

I don’t know what all these practices will do to the tumor inside of me, but I do know that they have already brought me in alignment with my ancestors, my family, my friends, my sons, and the Divine. In a way, this diagnosis has been the greatest gift I have ever received.

Photo: flickr.com/brian talbot

“How am I gonna be an optimist about this?”

Fox wanted to play golf today, so we went to the chipping green of a local golf course. There was only one other golfer on the chipping green who seemed upset that we were disturbing his practice. He mumbled somethings under his breath when Fox screamed, “I hit it in the hole, Daddy!”

Fox Golfing

Fox minding his own business

Finally, he said in a stern voice, “Go back to China.”

Normally, this would have set me off because:

  • I’m 4th generation Japanese American, so even if I went “back to China,” I wouldn’t know anyone or how to speak the language.
  • My father died for this country on his second tour of duty in Vietnam.
  • My maternal grandfather worked his whole life for the US Postal Service in Hawaii even though he was an engineer because his supervisor threatened to have him and his family sent back to Japan if he ever left the Post Office.

But this time, I barely lifted an eyebrow. I kept focusing on Fox’s joy and happiness.

“I can’t stand these…”

I’m not sure if this comment was at our ethnicity or our age because I had stopped paying attention.

More than anything, I felt compassion for this angry individual. I thought about all the ways, he was making his life hell:

  • He was turning a beautiful day at the golf course into a battleground.
  • He had forgotten the sympathetic joy of watching young children play.
  • He hadn’t learned to appreciate the gift of cultural diversity in America–the Pho restaurants, acupuncture clinics, tai chi in the park, and cricket in the schoolyards.

I noticed two things as he huffed off the course:

  • I felt no animosity or activation in my sympathetic nervous system. My shoulders were relaxed and my mind was at peace. Even now as I write this, I am very calm and objective.
  • 4 year old Fox had no idea what had just happened. He was too concerned with chasing around the white balls that were “so awesome.” He was simply minding his own business.

I really feel that my meditation practice, Interchange Counseling, Bloggers for Peace, and authentic blogging towards self actualization are having a profound effect on my psyche and my spirit.

Later in the day, I teared up singing the chorus to Bastille’s song “Pompeii”:

But if you close your eyes, does it almost feel like nothing’s changed at all?

And if you close your eyes, does it almost feel like you’ve been here before?

How am  I gonna be an optimist about this?

Optimism in the face of certain destruction. That is the kind of redemptive love that I want to embody. I want to take all the “slings and arrows of outrageous fortune” so that no one else has to suffer. I want to embrace the racist, sexist bigots and tell them that they are loved.

Call me a dreamer, but I know I’m not the only one.

Thank you for reading, smiling, and sharing.

Do you still tear up singing pop songs? Which ones? Please share.

Unrequited Love–Unfulfilling Sex

The amazing Rarasaur is hosting the Weekly Writing Challenge at WordPress with this prompt:

This week, we’re asking you to consider things from a different point of view — to walk a mile in someone’s shoes. Leave your moccasins and bunny slippers at the door, and tell us a tale from a fully-immersed perspective that is not your own.

Rara also did an interview at You’ve Been Hooked where she advises us to “be brave” in order to be a successful blogger. So here is my brave submission to the Weekly Writing Challenge. This is me empathizing with two young lovers.

Him Her
Man, she’s hot. I’d like to have her for one night. He’s cute. I’d love to get to know him better over the next few months.
The boys will think I’m a stud if I had sex with her. The girls will be so jealous if he were my boyfriend.
She seems kind. Maybe she won’t ridicule me if I mess up in bed. He seems kind. Maybe he will treat me well.
If I tell her I love her, maybe she will sleep with me. He said he loved me. I must be special.
She looked in my eyes. I hope she didn’t see the real me. He looked into my eyes. I hope he sees the real me.
I’m naked. I wonder if she thinks I’m too small. I’m naked. I wonder if he thinks I’m too big.
Since I can’t get love, I’ll settle for an orgasm. Since I can’t orgasm, I’ll settle for a little love.
Did I come too soon? Was I too innocent/dirty/wild/demure/loud/quiet?
I wonder if she liked it? I hope he liked it?
I hope no one finds out about this. I hope no one finds out about this.
I feel so inadequate. I gotta get out of here. He is leaving. Was I inadequate?
Why do I keep doing this? Why do I keep doing this?
I’m such an idiot. I’m such an idiot.
Will I ever find someone to love me? Will I ever find someone to love?

I really want to know what you think of this post. Do you find sex confusing? Are you unable to empathize with the opposite sex about sex? Is my portrayal completely off base? Please Share.

Other entries from Rara’s Challenge:

On the River: http://teepee12.com/2014/01/28/on-the-river/

Inside the Head of a Sporadic Three Year Old: http://onesahmscrazylife.wordpress.com/2014/01/27/inside-the-head-of-a-sporadic-three-year-old/

Fifteen Year Old Me is Disgusted: http://thecheesewhines.wordpress.com/2014/01/27/fifteen-year-old-me-is-disgusted/

How Many Time Do I Have To Tell You

Lessons on Humanity from a Three Six Year Old

As a parent, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said:

“How many times do I have to tell you…”

Six year old Jett was upset because he had to re-do his homework.

“How many time do I have to tell you that if you do it neatly the first time, you won’t have to re-do it.”

Finally, he got so upset that he threw the pencil and eraser off the desk. I sat calmly and said, “I guess that means no iPad.”

This pushed him over the edge. He started screaming. So I sat down at my desk and started reading blogs. He walked over to me and screamed in my face.

“You better back off, because you are getting Daddy angry,” I said in a calm, but firm voice.

“You hurt my feelings,” he screamed.

“How did I hurt your feelings? I didn’t hurt your feelings; I just tried to get you to do your homework.”

“You ignored me,” he screamed.

“I didn’t ignore you. I just walked away when you started screaming.”

“You were rude to me,” the screams were getting louder.

“YOU WERE RUDE to ME. Don’t you understand that screaming in someone’s face is rude?”

“YOU ARE BEING RUDE TO ME RIGHT NOW!” he yelled as he “stood with fists.”

Suddenly, I flashed back to a post that I published less than 24 hours prior to this argument. In the post, I waxed how Jett’s 3 year old brother taught me to “apologize quickly, even if you were not at fault” and “let others know when they have hurt you.”

Jett and Fox with Buddha

My Teachers

Jett was letting me know that I had hurt him, yet I was refusing to apologize. Three year old Fox was taking a bath right next to the office Jett and I were arguing in. I could hear his thoughts, “How many times do I have to tell you to walk the walk, Mr. Talk-the-Talk?”

I grabbed Jett and pressed his heart next to mine. “I’m sorry that I was rude to you. Thank you for telling me how you felt. I’m sorry I hurt your feelings. I’m sorry I ignored you.”

Jett’s body softened like a stuffed animal. I could feel his heart embracing mine.

“Let’s finish this homework, so you can have some iPad time, OK?”

“OK, Daddy.”

Lessons learned:

  • Calm and collected are not the same as caring and attentive
  • If I want my boys to be compassionate, I have to honor their feelings even if I don’t understand or agree with them.
  • We all need to be reminded of lessons over and over
  • Heart to heart is the best medicine/discipline for raising kids