Peace Challenge: Getting Paid for Posting Peace

B4Peace

Stop School Violence, Viral Humiliations, and Bullying by Raising Compassionate Boys

In response to all the school shootings, sexual assaults, viral humiliations, and bullying, I’m launching an audio series called “Raising Compassionate Boys.” I’d like to do whatever I can to change the culture of violence, rape, and cruelty that boys are indoctrinated in.

I wanted to ask you if you would be a partner in this launch. All that means is that during the week of the launch, you will publish one post on boys, parenting, children, love, compassion, bullying, assault, shame, gender, masculinity, etc with a link to RaisingCompassionateBoys.com

 Fox Sitting

You can also post a review, testimonial, or interview, because…

If you become a partner, I will give you the audio series for free before it is released. This audio series includes a special audio track just for men–it is a track by a man for men about why compassion is important for men and boys. The audio series costs $29.95, so you will be getting paid for posting for peace. Thank you for all your posts and support.
If you are interested, please email me at everydaygurus@gmail.com
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A Key to Happiness at Great America

Great America

Still on summer blogging break, but I had a thought that I wanted to get down. The boys and I were at Great America’s Boomerang Bay yesterday.

I forgot to bring a book, so while the boys were playing in the kiddie pool, I people watched. I was trying to empathize with strangers by mimicking their body language and face expressions in my mind. What I noticed is that a majority of people at this theme park were not happy!

Fox smiling with green tongueOf course the kids were happy, but many of the parents and mature adults looked stressed, irritated, or burdened. Truth be told, it was near 100 degrees outside and all the pool chairs in the shade were taken, but we were in California on a beautiful summer day.

So I tried to zero in on people with smiles on their faces. I categorized the happy people into four main groups—singers, dancers, talkers, and sympathetic joyers. Everyone singing and dancing were having a great time. Those who were talking to others also seemed to be enjoying themselves. The happiest people in the park, however, were the ones who were soaking in the joy of others, usually their children.

In Buddhism, we have the four divine emotions—metta (lovingkindness), karuna (compassion), mudita (sympathetic joy), and upekkha (equanimity). I focus a lot on metta, karuna, and upekkah in my daily meditation practice, but I often forget about mudita.

This day at the park reminded me of a few things. First, we have the choice at every moment to practice a divine emotion. Second, there is always opportunities to find happiness through sympathetic joy, especially around children.

From that moment on, I sucked in the joy of all the children playing in the water like a vampire in a blood bank. Actually, the legend of a vampire fits here. Vampires were supposed to be able to live forever by sucking on the blood of youth. I estimate that I’ve increased my lifespan by practicing sympathetic joy with my sons. Even if I don’t live longer, I will live deeper and happier.

I wanted to publish this post to remind me to choose sympathetic joy as much as possible. I hope your days are filled with moments of joy, both your own joy and the joy of others.

Blogging Break

Jett and Fox

The boys are out of school, so we are doing something that many kids don’t get to do nowadays–playing. For the first three weeks of summer, we are going to swim, bike, watch movies, and eat Popsicles, so I won’t be blogging too much.

In addition, after the shootings in Isla Vista, SPU, and Vegas, I’ve also dedicated a large part of my life to spreading compassion for boys. I’m completing an audio series called Raising Compassionate Boys. I believe that compassion is the missing piece that no one is talking about. Everyone is talking about gun control, but we forget that Elliot Rodger killed half of his victims with a knife. If we instill compassion in our boys, there would be less shootings, rapes, bullying, viral humiliation, suicide, and suffering.

I’m also starting a Compassion for Men’s Group. We meet every second Monday in Cupertino, CA. If anyone is interested, email me at everydaygurus@gmail.com

Lastly, I’ve been writing for The Good Men Project. It is a great website that is redefining what it means to be a man in the 21st century. Here are a few of the articles I’ve written lately:

Hope everyone has a peaceful and joyful summer. See you after the July 4th weekend. {{{Hugs}}} Kozo

 

Everyday Thanksgiving: March 2014

This is my monthly download of daily gratitude lists. I realized something about gratitude lately that might be obvious to everyone else: gratitude keeps you in the present moment. When you are grateful, you are loving what is. You are not wishing for something in the future or yearning for something in the past.

March 2014

Thank you for enlightenment moment by moment; being cradled like a baby at age 48; repairing mistakes; homemade chicken soup that lasts all week; being able to serve those in need.

IMG_1223Thank you for riding bikes to school; 4 year old Fox still needing to nap in my arms; checking the wind everyday in hopes of flying a kite with Jett; long walks in the woods with Oliver; the emergency help that I was able to provide to Dusty.

Thank you for realizing that we are all enlightened; catching myself un-enlightening myself; having my flyer distributed to an entire school digitally; Rarasaur’s love and direction; the B4Peace Redbubble page.

Thank you for Fox making a rocket out of a cardboard box; Jett wanting to read for 20 minutes a day; Fox sing/narrating whatever he does–“I’m looking for a little ball”; Pediatricians who remember your children; seeing the simplicity of enlightenment.

Thank you for getting authentic with an old colleague; the montessori school that supported my free talk; when my young sons talk to each other–“Hey Jett, it’s daytime”; a week without any television; Bastille’s song “Pompeii.”

Thank you for the cacophony of 4 year olds singing Happy Birthday; flying kites on a windless day; friends surprising us with a free dinner; vaseline mohawks; slow motion basketball with fathers.

Thank you for striking up meaningful conversations with strangers; gymnastic obstacle courses; early bedtimes; consistent routines; ripe papaya from Mexico.

Thank you for The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar; reading 10 books at a time; Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn; hugs for no reason; Guerrilla Counseling.

Thank you for plastic Groucho Marx glasses; TPumps Boba Tea; reading in the park; the clearance, open box HD camcorder I got for 90$; hearing from my dear friend, Lawson.

Thank you for allergy medicine for my sons; Ms Tsai, Jett’s compassionate 1st grade teacher; parents willing to learn; elementary school musicals; a conversation with Adyashanti.

Thank you for the generosity of Rarasaur and Gold Fish; Peace Cat t-shirts; being able to wear whatever I want; re-incorporating my 11 year old self; Gary Hein’s counseling.

Thank you for my sons’ love of Star Wars; Fox playing with the big boys; Pharrell’s song “Happy”; feeling the vitality of youth as a 48 year old; bike helmets for kids.kids on the mat

Thank you for Alfie Kohn’s love of children; research on the detrimental effects of grades; research on the ineffectiveness of homework; unconditional parenting; telling my boys I love them for no reason.

Thank you for every compassionate parent who showed up to the Raising Compassionate Boys talk; 45 minutes of Q&A; all the supportive texts and emails I got after the talk; feeling like I’m doing what I was born to do; Angela for watching the kids.

Thank you for Adyashanti’s myth analysis; realizing the connection between the body and awakening; the new Muppet’s movie; Tina Fey’s subtle comedy; my son sharing his boba tea with me.

Thank you for old fathers beating high school kids in pick up bball; a whole day in the park; rainbow loom; ice chests on a hot day; udon noodles.

Thank you for all the people who want me to counsel them; releasing old body/psychological constrictions; letting the body and the mind settle; Jett meditating for 12 minutes today; my wife’s humor.

Thank you for old cotton sweats that feel like home; all the email subscribers to my Parents4Compassion Newsletter; deepening friendships with strangers; the LeSportsac our generous friend bought for us; teriyaki salmon.

Thank you for clean public bathrooms; TedX talks; everyone on the path to awakening; kleenex after your son sneezes; my wife cooking dinner last night.

Thank you for the “Tell me who you are” exercise I did with Jolana; the invisible people who clean up the streets; an enlightening lunch with Michael; dancing without gender restrictions; liberation from the opinions of others.

Raising Compassionate Boys talkThank you for Jett passing his red blet test; Fox getting to do Kung Fu with Jett; Jett deepening into meditation; all the conversations about parenting I’m having after the Raising Compassionate Boys talk; Dan Siegal agreeing to an interview; the compassion consortium this Friday.

Thank you for chia seeds; teriyaki salmon; ice cream mochi; STRAWBERRIES IN SEASON; farmer’s markets on a sunny day.

The Compassion Interviews: Dr. Dan Siegel

Dr. Dan Siegel, professor of psychiatry at UCLA School of Medicine, has given 4 TedTalks, authored the NY Times best-seller Brainstorm, and pioneered the field of Interpersonal Neurobiology.

In this interview, we discuss:

  • How compassion and kindness are as important to the brain as the breath is to life
  • How parenting can lead us towards self-compassion and receptivity as opposed to reactivity
  • How being honest and present in whatever is happening is good for ourselves and the world
  • How we can break the vicious cycle of a lack of compassion in men.
  • How compassion can help us embrace the uncertainty of living in the moment
  • Where and why Dr. Siegel gives away for free awareness and compassion practices–www.drdansiegel.com

If you don’t already know who Dan Siegel is, I suggest checking out his website: drdansiegel.com

 

Raising Compassionate Boys Free Talk

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.”~Dalai Lama

I’m giving a free talk on raising compassionate boys at the Cupertino Community Hall (10350 Torre Ave, Cupertino) on March 19th from 6:30-8 PM. If anyone is in the area, please feel free to drop by. If you know anyone in the area, send them an invite from the Facebook page.

young boy meditating

This talk will discuss:

  • What is compassion and why it is one of the most important attributes for boys in the 21st Century
  • What modern science is uncovering about the importance of compassion for our health, happiness, and well-being
  • How we can cultivate compassion in our children
  • What daily practices you can start today that will increase the emotional intelligence of your children

Thank you for reading, smiling, and/or sharing.