Woke up to talk to my wife after our 9th Wedding Anniversary. I told her that I have committed to her being my only lover for the rest of my life. I have kuleana (responsibility) for her and my sons. I will be with her rain or shine, sickness or health, rich or poor, until death do us part.
It felt good to make this commitment. It puts a bigger picture around the daily conflicts or pilikia. We know that no matter what happens during the day, we will be there for each other. We will never abandon ship.
I probably should have made this commitment when I said my vows during the wedding ceremony nine years ago, but I’m not sure I really understood them back then. Funny thing is that this weekend we are hanging out at Ocean Beach with my old friend, KIt, who was the officiant at our wedding. We have also agreed to re-take our vows in the redwoods on Monday.
According to Hawaiian spirituality, disease can come from conflict in relationships. Traditional ho’oponopono was a ritual to kala (liberate, cut) the ties that these conflicts have on us that cause us suffering and dis-ease. I believe I chose my wife before I came into this world to clear deep karma. If I don’t clear this karma, then i will not only die, but also need to come back to clear karma in a future life. Talk about life’s purpose!!!
I feel grateful to experience this clarity and take up this kuleana.
Diet
Same as yesterday. Avocados with almond humus. Eating beans tonight. Mangosteen and Apex. I started drinking honey and tumeric tea again. Will alternate with honey and ginger tea. Drinking some coconut water out of carton.
Exercise
Resting today. Not much exercise.
Relationships
Powerful bonding with my wife, Beryl. I feel like this is one of the most important centers of my healing. I am grateful that Beryl understands this and wants to support me. She cradled me last night like a baby for about 20 minutes. It felt so healing.
Spirituality
Said prayers this morning. Listened to my body and took a day off of exercise. Part of mâlama ko’u kino (nurturing my body) is to listen when it needs rest and give it rest.
BM
Still some blood in stool.
Sorry about the details, but I’m trying to document all the treatments and their effects on a daily basis. I want others who come after me to ‘ike (see/know) how to heal from this dis-ease.
everyday gurus 
I am so saddened to hear you’re ill Kozo, but I know you are strong. I have been out of the loop with so many friends over the past year. Everything has been a whirlwind this 2015. Sending loving vibrations your way. *hugs*
Whirlwind is right, DD. Glad we are back in touch. Love to hear more from you. {{{hugs}}} Kozo
This was in the month of March now this is September. May I know how are you doing.
Love and light to you
I just posted this morning, ashualec. Everything is happening right now. I feel great. I feel blessed. How are you doing?
{{{Hugs}}} Kozo
I am good . Thank you.
Be blessed always
(((((((KozoBeryl)))))))
This is a time of great learning, and surrender eh?! Nothing to be done. Nothing to be done. Only one step in front of the other towards wholeness.
Love, Alison xox
Haha, Alison. I love KozoBeryl! Yes, just one step/peace at a time.
{{{Hugs}}} Kozo
what a beautiful approach
Beauty is everywhere, right, ksbeth? Love your optimistic energy.
{{{hugs}}} kozo
Kozo, your blog has been a very inspiring part of my life for some time now. I want to thank you for all that you have done for me and for so many. I will be lifting you in prayer.
Eileen,
Thank your for the kind appreciation. As I type this comment, I am realizing how much I miss the personal interactions of blogging. I was writing a weekly article for a large website, but there was little “conversation.” I am so happy/grateful to be “back.”
{{{hugs}}} kozo
Dear Kozo, I have been wondering about you and your family. As I read this post I was heartened by news of your reaffirmed commitment to your lovely wife but deeply saddened to read on and find news of your illness. You already know cancer is a disease I know too well. Thinking of you all and sending love and healing across the ocean xoxox
Thanks Tracy. If you have any guidance along the way, feel free to hit me with a radically honest comment or message.:)
{{{Hugs}}} Kozo
I really like this post. I’m happy you and your wife are sticking together. The pictures are beautiful and adorable. I feel the peace within your words in spite of your fight. Keep killing it with kindness. Hugs, hugs, hugs.
With friends like you, 1J1, kindness is easy. {{{hugs}}} Kozo
I love you. 🙂
I love you, too, again and again.