Woke up to talk to my wife after our 9th Wedding Anniversary. I told her that I have committed to her being my only lover for the rest of my life. I have kuleana (responsibility) for her and my sons. I will be with her rain or shine, sickness or health, rich or poor, until death do us part.
It felt good to make this commitment. It puts a bigger picture around the daily conflicts or pilikia. We know that no matter what happens during the day, we will be there for each other. We will never abandon ship.
I probably should have made this commitment when I said my vows during the wedding ceremony nine years ago, but I’m not sure I really understood them back then. Funny thing is that this weekend we are hanging out at Ocean Beach with my old friend, KIt, who was the officiant at our wedding. We have also agreed to re-take our vows in the redwoods on Monday.
According to Hawaiian spirituality, disease can come from conflict in relationships. Traditional ho’oponopono was a ritual to kala (liberate, cut) the ties that these conflicts have on us that cause us suffering and dis-ease. I believe I chose my wife before I came into this world to clear deep karma. If I don’t clear this karma, then i will not only die, but also need to come back to clear karma in a future life. Talk about life’s purpose!!!
I feel grateful to experience this clarity and take up this kuleana.
Same as yesterday. Avocados with almond humus. Eating beans tonight. Mangosteen and Apex. I started drinking honey and tumeric tea again. Will alternate with honey and ginger tea. Drinking some coconut water out of carton.
Resting today. Not much exercise.
Powerful bonding with my wife, Beryl. I feel like this is one of the most important centers of my healing. I am grateful that Beryl understands this and wants to support me. She cradled me last night like a baby for about 20 minutes. It felt so healing.
Said prayers this morning. Listened to my body and took a day off of exercise. Part of mâlama ko’u kino (nurturing my body) is to listen when it needs rest and give it rest.
Still some blood in stool.
Sorry about the details, but I’m trying to document all the treatments and their effects on a daily basis. I want others who come after me to ‘ike (see/know) how to heal from this dis-ease.