Let It Go Driver

I got an email from an old surfer friend who watched the video about driving I posted on the homepage of PeaceInRelationships.com. He said that his conversion from an offensive driver to a “let it go” driver saved him unnecessary conflict and anger.

My friend’s comment got me thinking. What if we could be not just “let it go” drivers, but “let it go” humans? What if we could “let go” of all our grudges, resentments, hurts, and offenses?

This reminded me of what Deepak Chopra claims turned his life around. Chopra has said that refusing to be offended brought a peace in his life that he had never felt before. Think about the phrase, “I take offense to that.” Read in one way, this means that you are going on the offense. You are becoming an attacker. Where is the peace in this?

Of course, whenever I think I discovered a new secret in life, I realize that thousands of others knew this years ago.

“Whatever will be, will be”~Rumi

How do you remind yourself to “let go”? Please share.

Blogging to Self-Actualization

I’m shifting my perspective on blogging. The reason I started blogging was to build a platform for my writing and counseling services. Yet after blogging for over a year, I’m starting to realize that blogging has more important lessons for me to learn.

Wayne Dyer once interviewed Abraham Maslow about self-actualization. Maslow gave four characteristics of self-actualized people:

1. Independent of the good opinion of other people
2. Detached from outcome
3. No investment in power or control of others
4. See the unfolding of God in everyone they encounter and treating them that way

I can’t think of more noble characteristics, so I’m going to start blogging for self-actualization.

1. I’m going to publish authentic and radically honest posts that are free from the fear of how others will judge or praise. I’m going to eliminate any fluff or rhetoric that is meant to cater to others wants, desires, or tastes.
2. I’m going to give up all attachment to outcome. I have no idea of what my blogging will bring me in life. I have no idea if I will ever make any money from blogging. I blog simply because that is what I do.
3. I’m going to give up any power or control I’m holding onto in relation to others. This comes in the form of judging other bloggers or writers. Comparing myself with others. Being jealous of others success as bloggers, counselors, writers, spiritual leaders, etc.
4. I’m going to treat everyone who I encounter on the internet and in real life as a manifestation of God. Like Mother Teresa who saw Jesus in everyone she met, I will see the Christ Consciousness and Buddha Nature in everyone and treat them in the same way I would treat Christ and Buddha, with dignity, respect, and gratitude.

I realize that there are a lot of “I”s in the previous paragraphs–certainly some ego to be dealt with. On the other hand, I like the intentions and personal responsibility of these new resolutions–do I dare call them covenants?

Thank you for reading, smiling, and/or sharing.

Do you blog for a higher purpose? Please share.

Christ’s Mass with Adyashanti

This weekend I attended Adyashanti’s Christmas Intensive. It was a very intimate event with singing, poetry, satsangs, and hugs from Adya.

The main topic of Adya’s talks was the Christ story. Adya sees the Christ life as a teaching, as a model of a very special kind of love–redemptive love.

“For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son”

This is the type of love we are talking about. A love that will sacrifice one’s only son to not only death, but brutal, torturous death through suffering. As a father, I have a hard time even thinking about this type of love, which makes it all the more divine.

At the Last Supper, when Jesus tells his disciples, “As I have loved you, so you must love one another,” this is the type of love that he is asking for. A love that does not transcend suffering, but rather embraces it in it’s entirety. A love willing to sacrifice to redeem others.

This selfless love is the way to God, Nirvana, or, in modern terms, Happiness.

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.

If you want to be happy, practice compassion.”~Dalai Lama

I know it is not New Year’s Resolution time yet, but I am resolving today to start abiding in this type of love. If Jesus could let himself be tortured and crucified, if Buddha could starve himself then sit under a tree all night, if the Dalai Lama can sit in meditation for 4 hours everyday to cultivate compassion for the world, then I think I can start sacrificing for those I love. I can stop reacting to the attacks of others with ill will and retaliation. I can love beyond my own egoic needs and desires.

I hope you get to experience this type of love this holiday season. Have a Happy Holidays.

Love, Kozo

“Let us abide in a humble and loving heart. Never forsaking the Divine knowledge beyond all distinction, nor the infinitely loving heart of God which is our own.”~Adyashanti

 

 

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• Adyashanti (lenajacome.wordpress.com)
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• You Are the Buddha ~ Adyashanti (evolutionarymystic.wordpress.com)
• Alone from thoughts – Adyashanti (avyakt7.com)

“Stop Breathing on My Neck. I’m Trying to Be Compassionate.”

Photo credit: -sel / Foter / CC BY-NC-SA

How to obtain peace when other people are around.

Listening to Adyashanti explain how resistance causes our suffering, I could not focus because some guy behind me was breathing like a hot furnace.

To Mothers: The Original Peacemakers

I watched my wife give birth to both our sons. For birth alone, mothers should be honored throughout their lives.

You’ll do for now, Daddy, but we want Mommy.

I know a lot of my readers are mothers and grandmothers. I bow down to you and hope you enjoy this holiday in your honor. I know that many of you work, raise children, and blog which is like having three full-time jobs at once. You are my heroes and you inspire me to make the world a better place.

The Small Penis Guru: Big Gifts in a Small Package

After 49 years of in the field research, I can honestly say that I have one of the smallest adult penises I have ever seen.

I will not bore you with the thousands of hours scanning locker rooms, gauging public showers, and peaking over urinal partitions. One example should suffice.

Old Souls and New Souls

I’ve started seeing people in a whole new light. Instead of focus on age, gender, race, and culture, I try to categorize myself and others as old souls and new souls. This helps me remember that we are all one.

To help make sense of this new vision, I created the following chart. It should be noted that these are just opposite poles on a spectrum. There are huge gradations between an old soul and a new soul–a teenage soul, a twenty-something soul, a mid-life crisis soul, a matriarch soul.

Conquer Fear to End Suffering

In the middle of the night, my 3 year old son started screaming, “No, No, No.” After waking from a nightmare, he was inconsolable. “I want something,” he babbled for half an hour. Water, blankets, stuffed animals, Mommy–nothing could make him stop crying. In my half-awake state, I realized that he was teaching me about  Buddhism.

Can Ritual Suicide Bring Peace?

The wound is the place where the Light enters you–Rumi

I’ve been contemplating suicide lately. Put the phones down. I’m not going to kill myself. My wife has a PhD in Clinical Psychology; she would be the first to recognize the symptoms and hospitalize me if I was suicidal.

What I mean is that I have been thinking about the idea of suicide. I was raised in a Japanese American household where samurai films were as common as Saturday morning cartoons. I’ve always been fascinated by the idea of ritual suicide—hara kiri or, more properly, seppuku.

Surrender to Peace

“The greatness of a man’s power is the measure of his surrender.”–William Booth

As an American, surrendering is never an option. I was raised with mottos like “give me liberty or give me death”; “remember the Alamo”; or “I’d rather die on my feet, than live on my knees.” We have been taught to “never give up.”

The image above comes from the reality television show, The Great Race. What is most remarkable is not that this contestant survived the accident, but that her partner urged her to keep trying after she wiped the blood off her face, so they could win the race.

Maybe Americans have it wrong. Maybe surrender should be our first option.