After 49 years of in the field research, I can honestly say that I have one of the smallest adult penises I have ever seen.
I will not bore you with the thousands of hours scanning locker rooms, gauging public showers, and peaking over urinal partitions. One example should suffice.
“I’d be happy with 4 inches”
When I was in college, I went on a ski trip with my beautiful blonde girlfriend. At her parent’s cabin, we ended up watching a comedy show with her older brother. On the show, Sam Kinison was joking about how women should be satisfied with his 4 inch penis.
“Are you satisfied with 4 inches?” my girlfriend’s brother asked.
“I’d be HAPPY with 4 inches,” quipped my girlfriend.
Of course, she gave me a hug and said that she was kidding, but you know what they say about all jokes containing a bit of truth–in this case, a very small bit.
What a small penis can do for you
Having to live an entire life with a small penis, I have learned to look for the silver lining. As counter-intuitive as it sounds, there are benefits to being under-endowed.
- Ego Check
I’ve always had a huge ego. I thought I was so cool in high school. All the music I listened to was not only the coolest music, but I had discovered it first. “Duran Duran. I was listening to them when they were just called Duran.”
When I was a surfer in college, I thought that anyone who didn’t surf was clueless. Even today, I catch myself looking at others with condescending thoughts of “you should meditate.” But whenever my ego gets too inflated, I back off because I know that my whole world could be shattered with the exposure of one pin-sized prick.
I’m not referring to the necessity for men with small penises to make love to themselves because they fear being rejected by women. I’m referring to self-compassion.
When we recognize our inadequacies, yet are able to find something in ourselves worth loving, we come to a powerful place of acceptance and gratitude. At one point, I just told myself, “I love how small I am.” I learned that the only person who can truly make me feel inadequate was myself.
- Great Sex
Sex is about connecting with another human being, and the genitals are just one of the many contact points. In the larger picture, the genitals are one of the least important points of contact.
When I look deeply into the eyes of my lovers and let them see who I really am, this connection overrides any physical pleasure. I was born wanting to love and be loved. Sex is just another vehicle for this search for love.
In our modern society, where survival of our species has nothing to do with procreation, giving and receiving love is the whole purpose of any human interaction, especially sex. If I satisfy another human being’s desire to be loved, the size of my penis will not even enter the picture.
- Finding True Beauty
Beauty is a combination of things, not one thing in isolation. No matter how big a package one has, true beauty is born in integration. A large package with a bad attitude or a huge ego can be less attractive than a small package with a large heart or confident smile.
When I see my body in its entirety, I realize that everything fits together. My skinny legs and hairless chest are the perfect match for my penis size. I’ve finally realized that the people who are attracted to me almost expect my body proportions. Some may even be attracted to me because I am a perfect fit for them.
- Becoming a Man
Having a small penis has taught me that manhood is not defined by what is between one’s legs. Instead, true manliness lies in the heart. When I interviewed Rick Hanson for the Compassionate Men Interview Series, he revealed that the word courage comes from the French word for heart—coeur.
I’ve learned that having the heart and courage to be vulnerable, authentic, and loving is what makes a “real man.”
Although some may see me as an object of ridicule, I can honestly say that I see myself as “half-man/half-amazing.”
May you find peace and joy. May you be free from suffering.
Have your inadequacies brought you unexpected gifts? Please share below.
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Is there a silver lining to your inadequacies? Please share.
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