The Small Penis Guru: Big Gifts in a Small Package

After 49 years of in the field research, I can honestly say that I have one of the smallest adult penises I have ever seen.

woman with magnifying glass

I will not bore you with the thousands of hours scanning locker rooms, gauging public showers, and peaking over urinal partitions. One example should suffice.

“I’d be happy with 4 inches”

When I was in college, I went on a ski trip with my beautiful blonde girlfriend. At her parent’s cabin, we ended up watching a comedy show with her older brother. On the show, Sam Kinison was joking about how women should be satisfied with his 4 inch penis.

“Are you satisfied with 4 inches?” my girlfriend’s brother asked.

“I’d be HAPPY with 4 inches,” quipped my girlfriend.

Of course, she gave me a hug and said that she was kidding, but you know what they say about all jokes containing a bit of truth–in this case, a very small bit.

What a small penis can do for you

Having to live an entire life with a small penis, I have learned to look for the silver lining. As counter-intuitive as it sounds, there are benefits to being under-endowed.

  1. Ego Check
    I’ve always had a huge ego. I thought I was so cool in high school. All the music I listened to was not only the coolest music, but I had discovered it first. “Duran Duran. I was listening to them when they were just called Duran.”

    When I was a surfer in college, I thought that anyone who didn’t surf was clueless. Even today, I catch myself looking at others with condescending thoughts of “you should meditate.” But whenever my ego gets too inflated, I back off because I know that my whole world could be shattered with the exposure of one pin-sized prick.

  2. Self-Love
    I’m not referring to the necessity for men with small penises to make love to themselves because they fear being rejected by women. I’m referring to self-compassion.

    When we recognize our inadequacies, yet are able to find something in ourselves worth loving, we come to a powerful place of acceptance and gratitude. At one point, I just told myself, “I love how small I am.” I learned that the only person who can truly make me feel inadequate was myself.

  3. Great Sex
    Sex is about connecting with another human being, and the genitals are just one of the many contact points. In the larger picture, the genitals are one of the least important points of contact.

    When I look deeply into the eyes of my lovers and let them see who I really am, this connection overrides any physical pleasure. I was born wanting to love and be loved. Sex is just another vehicle for this search for love.

    In our modern society, where survival of our species has nothing to do with procreation, giving and receiving love is the whole purpose of any human interaction, especially sex. If I satisfy another human being’s desire to be loved, the size of my penis will not even enter the picture.

  4. Finding True Beauty
    Beauty is a combination of things, not one thing in isolation. No matter how big a package one has, true beauty is born in integration. A large package with a bad attitude or a huge ego can be less attractive than a small package with a large heart or confident smile.

    When I see my body in its entirety, I realize that everything fits together. My skinny legs and hairless chest are the perfect match for my penis size. I’ve finally realized that the people who are attracted to me almost expect my body proportions. Some may even be attracted to me because I am a perfect fit for them.

  5. Becoming a Man
    Having a small penis has taught me that manhood is not defined by what is between one’s legs. Instead, true manliness lies in the heart. When I interviewed Rick Hanson for the Compassionate Men Interview Series, he revealed that the word courage comes from the French word for heart—coeur.

    I’ve learned that having the heart and courage to be vulnerable, authentic, and loving is what makes a “real man.”

Although some may see me as an object of ridicule, I can honestly say that I see myself as “half-man/half-amazing.”

May you find peace and joy. May you be free from suffering.

Have your inadequacies brought you unexpected gifts? Please share below.

If you like what you read here, feel free to sign up for a free 30 minute coaching call or skype. I help men liberate themselves from socially conditioned prisons of inadequacy, anger, and heartlessness.

Click here to schedule a free 30 minute phone/video conference session

Thank you for reading, sharing, and/or smiling.

Is there a silver lining to your inadequacies? Please share.


115 comments on “The Small Penis Guru: Big Gifts in a Small Package

  1. jmgoyder says:

    Well that was unexpected! Wonderful (enlightening) post.

    • Kozo says:

      I’m not sure how it is in Australia, Julie. But small penises are not unexpected on Asian men in America. haha. Thanks for reading. {{{Hugs}}} Kozo

  2. Rohan 7 Things says:

    What an incredibly courageous and positive post! I’m a big advocate of being open, honest and up front about our (percieved) weaknesses and limitations. The whole thing is ridiculous, women worrying about the shape and size of their breasts and vaginas, guys worrying about their penis size.

    It seems that everyone, no matter how big or small worries about it. This tells me that the size or shape isn’t important, it’s just the worry that’s the problem, that’s where we should be focused. To remove the fear of judgment and rejection because of something outside of our control!

    Thanks for sharing, great post!


    • Kozo says:

      I love that, Rohan–“remove the fear of judgment and rejection because of something outside of our control.” Life is so much more enjoyable without this fear.
      {{{hugs]}} Kozo

      I knew I was safe publishing this post because I knew you were doing your 30 day Challenge, so you couldn’t ridicule me. haha

      • Rohan 7 Things says:

        Haha, aww, I’d never do that, Asshole Challenge or not! We all have feelings of inadequacy to deal with in one form or another 🙂



    • 1EarthUnited says:

      Hey guys! Kozo, I’ll give you mucho props for revealing this most sensitive issue, well for men at least. Takes a lotta balls to… ok poor choice of words… the point you both brought up is significant and extends way beyond our physicality and perceived inadequacies. All judgement (self impose or otherwise), comparisons, competitions are just mind generated polarities to help us recognize our own egos.
      In reality there are no “imperfections” per se, just the opportunity to learn and grow from life’s challenges. Kozo you are already perfect, and your hugely well endowed heart proves it! ♥
      Personally, a man’s honesty turns me on far more than any physical attribute, sex being a unifying expression of divine spirit.
      Now that we’re all coming out the closet, I was a tall geeky counter cultural misfit during my teenage years. No dates, boo-hoo, thinking I wasn’t good enough to be with anyone, so I learned to value myself in other ways. And as you’ve noted every experience is a true blessing, it just depends on how we perceive every moment. I transformed myself into an independent free thinking, all-being individual. For that I’m infinitely grateful & wouldn’t trade it for anything.
      Hilariously, I did go out with a young man in college who OBSESSED with penis size. He wasn’t small by any measure, but perceived penis dysmorphia due to watching porn. So I told him to stop complaining, put up or shut up… so he did! He researched and found some obscure Daoist text about lengthening…
      It turns out men in the east actually teach their young children how to grow their penises to prodigious size using ancient “jelking” techniques. Certain tribes actually worship the penis, believing that’s where “god” resides.
      To my surprise, within a year did he put up and out! He called it his +3″ bonus shot heard ’round the world. Not bad! I found him quite “inspirationally motivated”, turning his situation around he also wrote a how-to manual and sold it his buddies, started an online business and put himself through college, lol.
      Well, the point is we all have challenges to overcome and opportunity is literally what we make of it. 😉 Awesome post and comments, you guys are the best! ♥☼♥

      • Kozo says:

        Maddy, I bet those guys in high school are kicking themselves right now. I can’t picture you a “tall geeky, counter-culture misfit,” but I know it must be true because something lead you to the path you are on now.
        In regards to your college boyfriend, I have read about similar techniques and have actually tried a few, but having a larger penis wasn’t really that important to me, so I stopped. It is similar to when I was working out my legs to be able to dunk a basketball. I got to the point where I could dunk a tennis ball, when I realized that there are more important skills to work on than dunking. I guess I learned that there are more important aspects of myself to work on besides penis size. Great story, though, Maddy. I would love to see the before and after photos just out of curiosity.
        I love what you said about “we all have challenges to overcome and opportunity is literally what we make of it.” Truth be told, I have greater challenges than penis size. These challenges will literally break me or make me. I keep reminding myself that we are all one, so if I stay true to humanity than nothing can break me/us.
        Thanks for going easy on me with this post, Maddy. haha. You are a true friend. {{{hugs}}} kozo

      • 1EarthUnited says:

        Kozo you’ve certainly attained wisdom over the years. As long as you know what’s most important to you, then u’r a bigger man than most. Congrats my friend! {{{Bear Hugz}}} ♥

  3. Rohan 7 Things says:

    Oops, and Hugs!! 😉


  4. yourothermotherhere says:

    What bothers me about your post is that I got the impression that you equate masculinity with penis size and that is no more true than equating breast size with femininity. It is primarily advertisers using fantasy models to sell products who make everyone think that they have to live up to some imagined ideal of their sex, not reality.

    • Kozo says:

      Good point. I do equate masculinity with penis size like the rest of society. I believe we need to change our views about masculinity, not just in terms of penis size. My desire to cultivate Counter-Patriarchal Compassion focuses on a new definition of masculinity. Great observation. I really appreciate the insightful feedback. {{{Hugs}}} Kozo

  5. grandmalin says:

    Well this takes baring your soul to a whole new level – hahaha. 😀 I’ve always found it weird how we judge people on their physical attributes, or base how attractive they are on something genetic over which they have no control. We are all package deals and there will always be some things we like about ourselves more or less than others. Just have to remember it’s the whole picture that’s important in the end. {{Hugs}} and thanks for making me choke on my coffee. LOL

    • Kozo says:

      I like looking at the whole picture, Grandmalin. I used to think I had really skinny legs, until I went to India and noticed that half the world has the same legs that I do. Gandhi had skinny legs. When we drop judgment, we see the whole picture clearly and find gratitude.
      {{{hugs}}} Kozo

      Sorry about the coffee. If you stained your shirt, at least you can tell co-workers a funny story about how you got the stain. haha.

  6. Incredibly brave and refreshingly honest. I just did a post on oversharing, but this was sharing with context and circumspection (not -cision). Well-written and bravo! We’ve turned sexuality into mechanics and equipment and silicone, but it is something as indefinable as spirituality – personal and nebulous.

    • Kozo says:

      I was thinking about your post on over-sharing while writing this, Michelle. I’m glad that I’m not in the too-much-information category. I was trying not to be narcissistic.

      I love your last line here. Sexuality and spirituality are personal and nebulous–Both can also be paths to godliness. {{{Hugs}}} Kozo

  7. vernette says:

    Kozo, when I saw the email, I thought maybe your account was hacked and that it was spam. Really unexpected post, but just as refreshing. Open and honest is always the best way to be. Thanks for sharing.

    • Kozo says:

      Haha, Vernette. I hope my tweet does not get spammed. You’re right, it does sound like a seedy advertisement. Thank you for reading and commenting. {{{Hugs}}} Kozo

    • Hahaha so did I! 🙂 But i was more inclined to thinking that this was an April 1st joke 🙂 Then i figured out Kozo was serious… and thus, true respect, my friend, for sharing this!
      Your blog is extremely popular, and i’m sure you are a role model for many men out there who read your posts.., and so imagine what great encouragement and a relief for your male audience is to read the guru talk about these sensitive issue, so many people don’t even discuss it aloud.
      I think your mission in life, Kozo, is to help people on all levels, and you are doing it fantastically!

      • Kozo says:

        haha, yeah, Sofia. I get a lot of hits from Google now from people typing in “small penis.” Hope I’m helping them. Thanks for the support. I do feel like I am finally hitting my stride to love all/serve all. {{{hugs}}} Kozo

      • ;))) Way to go, Kozo-san! Wow, you are mega unordinary and versatile!

  8. merbear74 says:

    I love you even though you have a small willie. {Hugs}


    • Kozo says:

      LOL, Merbear. Those are the words I have been wanting to hear all my life. Too bad it comes from someone online who I have never met in person, but at least I did not have to pay for it. {{{Hugs}}} Kozo

    • 1EarthUnited says:

      LOL, you guys are the best! This acceptance attitude is divine grace, we are all part of the same GOD! Kozo we have to hang out and laugh sometimes!! ☼

  9. Sunshine says:

    leave it to Kozo, the small penis guru, to write up such an honest post that packs a powerful reflection about society and its fixation of perfect body parts and sex. the beauty in your words lies right where you wrote that your wife, you believe, loves the real you. that is genuine. that is what it should be with love. carry on…☼sunLOVE+HUGS

    • Kozo says:

      You’re right, Sunshine. I don’t think I could have published this post if I was still single. I’ve got much bigger flaws than what’s between my legs, and my wife still loves me. For this, I am truly grateful. Which reminds me–Thank you so much for your sunHugs. You don’t know how much they meant to me yesterday. Just the vision of hugging the warm sun is just what I needed. {{{Hugs}}} Kozo

  10. Kozo what a surprise topic. I did a double take to see whose blog I was reading. But such a great topic. Very brave of you and honest. The gem in this whole post? People love us no matter our flaws. We are our own worst critic and at times worst obstacle to self happiness. We need to love and accept ourselves like others love and accept us.

    • Kozo says:

      I completely agree, Tasha. We are our own worst critics. I am so grateful to have learned self-compassion. Having my wife love me helps tremendously. I think she loves some of my flaws, but she will never admit it. haha. {{{Hugs}}} Kozo

  11. This is one of the most courageous posts I’ve ever read. In Canada, April 1st is a day for fooling people, so I’m suspicious of the sincerity, but I love the message either way.

    I’m not a homosexual, but I recently ‘came out’ as gay publicly. I am telling everyone, even my very Catholic family, to prove a point- no one chooses to be gay. No one would choose to go through what gay people go through. Even science has demonstrated a biological basis for the difference- it’s not a moral choice. If it’s not a choice, like having a smaller penis, then how is it acceptable to judge a person for it?

    My post on the 19th about experiencing hate was talking about the result of this coming out.

    I only get to see you for what you write about on here, and even if we were laying about in some bathhouse together, it’s what you express that I’d evaluate you on, not what you expose. I have big ears, crooked teeth, and a number of regrettable tattoos. I thank God for evolved people like you who won’t judge on looks, but rather on thoughts and deeds.

    • Kozo says:

      I was wondering about the persecution and violence you experienced on day before the March 19th post. Wow, that is a brave way to make a point. I really admire you commitment to equality for a group that you don’t belong to. I am trying to make a similar change in women’s oppression.
      I choose not to judge, but I would welcome you with open arms as a friend for sure. Well, at least with a firm handshake if we were laying about in some bathhouse. Your friend, Kozo

  12. utesmile says:

    Wonderfully honest post. All has been said I think in the other comments. I do agree that the size does have nothing to do how much man you are…… I would say when women say the bigger the better, they just boast and it is not true, well for me. (My ex kept boasting about his 6 inches and I can honestly say, I have a much nicer time in bed with my new man who is smaller) Everything comes in different sizes and shapes and we are never happy with it, sometimes due to comparing ourselves all the time or due to what we are told by the media. God has given us all we need and we are loved as we are. Hugs Ute

    • Kozo says:

      Your last sentence says it all, Ute. “God has given us all we need and we are loved as we are.” What a wonderful reminder. Thank you. {{{Hugs}}} Kozo

  13. Athena Brady says:

    I just had to look when I saw the title Kozo and you knew that didn’t you, that we would find it irresistible. I laughed so hard at your jokes throughout. I don’t know how many stereotypes you covered there but there were a good few. To be happy in your skin is hard to achieve but very worthwhile. I have the teeth that are far from perfect and can be a bit of a show off but I am working on that. I learned a long time ago it is what is in your heart that is important and not to be misled by exterior beauty. I have decided to do the asshole challenge so I am choosing my words carefully lol. Thanks for sharing, you rock! {{{Hugs}}}

    • Kozo says:

      I agree, Athena. It is what is in your heart that is important. We all have inadequacies that we blow out of proportion, but we all have hearts that are able to encompass the world. {{{Hugs]}} Kozo

  14. Natalya says:

    I admit I giggled a little reading your post but am impressed with your honesty. You’re brave to talk about something a lot of people won’t discuss for fear of embarrassment. Excellent post on loving ourselves no matter how big or small we are 🙂

    • Kozo says:

      Glad I could make you smile today, Natalya. I am lucky that I am married to a beautiful woman who loves me dearly. I see this post as a marriage vow, because I will probably never get another date again if I ever break up with my wife. 🙂
      I hope this post helped you love yourself more. Thanks for reading and commenting.{{{Hugs}}} Kozo

      • Natalya says:

        Well I am in the same boat as you but with my bust! Or lack of it, lol. Being flat chested is okay for me though since I never have men staring at my chest instead of my face! haha

      • Kozo says:

        Yeah, women never stare at my crotch either. haha. We are all beautiful and blessed if we could just recognize ourselves. {{{Hugs]}} Kozo

      • Natalya says:

        LOL, omg I never thought of that! Beauty truly lives inside of us. Thanks for reminding me 😀

  15. Kozo, first, thanks for the smiles and laughs caused.
    Second, this is a post that I must share with a friend of mine, you know (or probably don’t) in the gay community this is a huge issue. This friend of mine is already 27yo and has never, not even once, dated a guy, he’s damn cute and smart, but he’s afraid he would get rejected or made fun of.
    I’ve seen him naked, and yeah, he’s small, very small, but I keep encouraging, because he’s missing out all the action. I mean, 10 years out of the closet and has never dated, not even once. He’s very unhappy and I try to talk to him or get him a man his response is “yeah, for you it’s easy cuz you are normal”

    • Kozo!!!!!
      How could you?????!!!!!!
      How could I????!!!!
      I fell for it!!!!!
      Man!!!!! You got me good.
      I’m confused, I’m too confused, I’m a mess
      I’ll come back tomorrow to make sense of this.

      • Kozo says:

        Sad to say, Leo. This is not an April Fool’s prank. I did post on April Fool’s due to some fear of vulnerability. I figured if someone ridiculed me in public about this post, I could always say that it was a joke. But truth be told, I am Asian and the stories above are true. One of my friends from college actually commented above and she could verify. That being said, I feel so much better after posting. My wife smiled and gave me a big hug after reading the post. “You’re not THAT small,” she said. See proof right there.
        Tell your friend that the bravest people are the ones who can face themselves and come out on top. {{{Hugs}}} Kozo

      • Believe, I didn’t doubt the post while I was reading, not a bit, it’s very sincere. But today I woke with the determination to not trust anyone not even my mother, I’m pray animal, looking around for signs of danger lol
        I already passed the link to my friend, he called me asshole hahahahaha but then said thank you then I called him idiot back, cuz that’s what friendship is about.

    • Kozo says:

      Let your friend know that I got him beat hands down. Ooops, bad choice of words there. I would never be seen in front of my friends naked. The fact that he showed you his package means that he is a lot bigger than me.
      I hope your friend reads this post and focuses on Self-Compassion. From the sounds of it, he is acting as if he is guilty without ever having been judged. Sure some will laugh and be mean, but most people are kind and decent. And everyone has an inadequacy. Those that are mean usually have the biggest inadequacies that they are hiding.
      Let your friend know that he is not alone and it is not as bad as he thinks. God makes no junk. She made us just the way we need to be. {{{Hugs}}} Kozo

    • Anonymous says:

      You might also share with him that there are some men who PREFER a small guy! If I was choosing a partner based on size I wouldn’t want a guy with more than 4″. So he may need to date and “put himself out there” to find his love. I know he is out there! Sorry I’m not available for him! 😃

  16. Jueseppi B. says:

    Reblogged this on The ObamaCrat.Com™ and commented:
    ✿¸¸.•*¨*✿♫✿ Happy April Fools Day✿♫✿*¨*•.¸¸✿

    • Kozo says:

      Thanks for reblogging, Jueseppi, although this is no joke. I would post pictures, but this is not that kind of blog. {{{hugs}}} Kozo

      • Jueseppi B. says:

        It’s never the size of the ship Kozo, but the motion of the ocean. It’s all about hip movement my Man. 😉

      • Kozo says:

        Haha, Jueseppi, one of my favorite sayings–for good reason. I was told by a yoga teacher that I have very open hips for a man, so I got that going for me. {{{hugs}} Kozo

      • Jueseppi B. says:

        Be well Kozo. ❀ ✿ Namaste ❀ ✿

  17. Andrea says:

    Hi Kozo,

    I just had to write. This is a great topic of self-expression and getting real with who we are (what we like, what we don’t, our perceived shortcomings – what makes us tick inside). Bravo to you for writing it. I bet you’re going to get some replies – and it will slowly change you in a cool way. I feel like the more we show our authentic selves to others, the more we are accepted, loved – and we experience more happiness.

    It’s interesting too because your post brushed upon a project that I’m putting together.

    I have this idea that a significant segment of women are not comfortable talking about their genitalia. They say “down there” or “va jay jay” but they are still uncomfortable saying the words or talking about themselves as they would say my “elbow.”

    For a long time, I just thought it was cute or curious, but recently I’ve really started seeing how that holds people back. If women can’t talk about such a powerful part of their body, how does that affect them in other parts of their life? How does it affect their sex lives? Their ability to communicate with their partners? Discussing issues with their doctors?

    On a more serious note, what if sexual harrassment or abuse happens, now there is a lifetime of embarrassment and shame that might hold a woman back from telling someone who could fix the situation, seeing justice through, etc.

    And then our children, if we are skittish about the acceptable terms around them, then how will they navigate this ground as they start thinking about sex? We might not be giving them the language tools that could help them. They might also pick up that we are too embarrassed to discuss such topics with them, so they might go to other (less reliable) sources for their information.

    I’m starting this with just women, but I see it affecting both genders. It would be great if our culture could slowly move to just being more open about all parts of our bodies, nature (in my opinion). I’d like to take the shame and embarrassment out of it.

    There’s more on this topic, but that gives you an idea of where I’m coming from. So I am working to set up a one day workshop in June. Right now, I’m doing a lot of outreach…talking to people, asking their opinions feedback – it’s so interesting to hear what people really think about this topic.

    I’m asking lot of men too – they are almost my best resource because if you think about it, they have the best sample size: the women with whom they’ve been intimate. Women can only speak from their own, singular experience.

    I just set up a blog over the weekend, it is:

    And then a web site:

    I’m not sure what I’ll use the most, I’ll experiment.

    Anyway, your post inspired me this morning. I’m very happy for what you are up to! It sounds like you are on the happiness road, and will keep feeling more and more as time goes on. It’s inspiring!

    Andrea (Martin)

    PS Your kids are very cute!!

    On Mon, Apr 1, 2013 at 6:30 AM, everyday gurus

    • Kozo says:

      Holy Cow, Andrea. We gotta talk. Your workshop segues perfectly into what I am planning with Counter-Patriarchal Compassion. I just commented on your blog. Go to your dashboard and click on “Manage Comments.” You will see my comment and my email address. Email me, so we can talk in person. Maybe skype? {{{Hugs}}} Kozo

  18. Rock on, my Kozo!!!!! High 5’s being sent your way!!!!

    • Kozo says:

      Yay, High 5 if you don’t care about size. haha. Thanks, 1G4AW. I appreciate your support, especially on sensitive issues like today. {{{Hugs]}} Kozo

  19. Alison says:

    So is it an April Fool’s joke Kozo? Hmmmm? Are you maybe being just a little bit of a brat to make a point (well several points)?
    Either way it’s an incredibly courageous thing to do given the taboo around speaking of such things in public, and the judgement and ego tied up in size. I love the whole post to bits. And you too, whatever your size lol. It’s an excellent post full of wisdom and words to live by, and some good belly laughs. That can never be a bad thing. Bug hugs from me.

    • Kozo says:

      Thanks, Alison. I feel free releasing all the “judgement and ego tied up in size.” Glad it made you smile. I also appreciate the love and hugs you send from around the world. {{{Hugs}}} to you my dear friend. Kozo

      • Alison says:

        I can’t believe you did this. I’m astonished by your bravery and your willingness to be self-revealing no matter what. So impressed. I think I read in one of your comments that just posting this, putting it out there so to speak, has helped. I know it did me when I wrote about my issue with weight.
        There is nothing more endearing than honest vulnerability. And nothing like sharing your vulnerability with others to help you become free. And in doing so help others become free. It is a great service you do here.
        Love and hugs

  20. jrosenberry1 says:

    This is a refreshing and honest post, and gives us all a lot to think about. Thank you for your bravery!

    • Kozo says:

      Thanks, Jennifer. One of the good things about this post is that I get hits from Google when people search for “penis.” haha.
      {{{hugs]}} Kozo

      Did you change the template of your blog? I like the columns.

      • jrosenberry1 says:

        Oh my! I guess the visitors could be a good thing or a bad thing! o.O

        As to the template … I use “Theme: Customized ‘The Columnist’ by Ben Martineau”. The award logos are making the columns more noticeable though!

        BTW — I love your logo.

  21. diannegray says:

    Kozo – you may have a small penis, but you are a man of enormous soul! I actually choked on my coffee when I started reading this and thought your account had been hacked, but it certainly sounds like your writing. People place too much emphasis on the ‘tool’ and not on how it’s actually used. Kudos to you, my friend! {{{hugs}}} 😀

    • Kozo says:

      Thanks, Dianne. An enormous soul didn’t do too much for me in high school, but I am certainly grateful for it now. Seems like I made a lot of women choke on their coffee this morning with this post which is ironic because I have never been able to make women choke before. 🙂 Sorry about that. Still some insecurities left over even after the hitting publish.
      Thanks for accepting me for who I am, Dianne. {{{hugs}}} Kozo

  22. cindy knoke says:

    Its not the errrrr…size of the package, it’s the mode of delivery, that matters!!! You rock!

    • Kozo says:

      haha, Cindy. Problem is that when I was younger, my mode of delivery was FedEx. Old age has made me more like snail mail, but like the USPS, I might go out of business soon. haha.
      {{{Hugs}}} Kozo

  23. Sandy says:

    Hi Kozo, I had to take a second look at my emails when I saw your subject matter. My first reaction was a giggle, then I thought – “he must be reblogging another post!”
    I must say your honesty is breathtaking! In thinking about what you’ve written, I must admit that I’ve judged a man based on size, but in thinking back, I now realize that what I was doing was picking up the energy of his own sense of inadequacy. I don’t think I would have given it a second thought if he had been more confident in just being himself.
    Thanks for sharing, and for helping me realize how our own thoughts about our “shortcomings” get reflected back to us through other peoples eyes!
    Much, Much Love, Sandy

    • Kozo says:

      So true, Sandy. At one point in my life, I told a woman that I was just about to sleep with that I had a small penis. What a buzzkill that was. I don’t think our relationship ever recovered from that first impression. When I first met my wife, I didn’t really care about what people thought of my size. I was confident in the person I had become. I guess that is why she married me. I wish I could spread your secret about our thoughts of our own shortcomings getting reflected to us in the eyes of others to all the kids in Jr. high school. I’m definitely going to tell my sons this secret. Thank you. {{{hugs}}} Kozo

  24. Dieu says:

    You are SO awesome, Kozo. A post with humour, grace and honesty. Love it a whole, whole bunch. 🙂 As a female, I remember growing up and being jealous of all the girls who developed earlier and faster than me. It’s like I thought having big boobs or any at all would make me desirable, but now I learned it’s all in your attitude. And you, sir have tons of attitude! {{{hugs!}}}

    • Kozo says:

      Thanks, Dieu. Yes, you are right. It is in the attitude. Rock what you got. As Asians we have a tough time measuring up to Western standards of beauty, although Asian women have their own chapter of beauty in the West. I can now say with confidence that I love my slim physique, soft skin, hairless chest, and small package, but high school was a pretty tough time for me. Like I told Sandy above, I wish I could tell all kids in jr.high school to love what God gave them. I imagine myself touring schools as the Small Penis Guru, but I’d probably get lynched by some crazy parents somewhere. Oh well. I guess I just keep posting on wordpress. {{{hugs}}} kozo

  25. oliviaobryon says:

    This must be the vulnerable post you were talking about– kudos to you for being brave and putting yourself out there. I admire your courage and honesty! 🙂

    • Kozo says:

      Thanks, Olivia. Brene Brown was right. It feels good being vulnerable and the response has been so supportive. Thanks for the encouragement. {{{hugs}}} Kozo

  26. I think the bearing of your ego to us all is braver than your size 😉 , and saying things such as cooking and laundry are female occupations – I’d take issue with that!

    Don’t wrap your masculinity up in penis size Kozo – our breasts march out in front of us but we don’t know how big you are til you take your trousers off, so in that sense most definitely size doesn’t matter! I have no idea the size of many strong men in this world that I admire..masculinity is in how you carry yourself each day.

    And you have a wife and two children who love you while plenty of us are alone walking through this world..

    I’ve had plenty of guys try to lure me into bed with ‘it’s really big’ (or similar) and my response was always ‘you’ve all got one, you’ll have to do more than that to impress me’ ha ha ha

    • Kozo says:

      Thanks for the support, Annie. Yeah, I should have put the cooking and laundry comment into historical context. I am referring to turn of the century America 1890-1900 when many Asian male immigrants could only get jobs usually reserved for women.
      Can you imagine me approaching a woman and trying to lure her into bed by saying how small I am? That would be one to catch on video.
      I totally agree with you about women’s breast being front and center, not to mention the sexist clothing norms that expose more skin than cloth for women.
      I would like to disagree with you about walking alone through this world. 1) we all have each other in the blogosphere. 2) We are all one, so no one is spiritually alone. 3) We all have ourselves to love.
      Thanks for the thoughtful comment and support, Annie. You know if you are feeling alone that I am always here with a {{{hug}}}. Kozo

  27. raimyd says:

    Hey at least it was good enough to make not one but two beautiful boys. 😉

    • Kozo says:

      You got that right, Raimy. I’ve never had a problem performing when given the opportunity. Knock on wood. Oops, bad choice of words. {{{hugs}}} Kozo

  28. Eileen says:

    What a delightful surprise with morning coffee……… a perfect example of laughter being carbonated grace.

    Since most of the women in my generation didn’t manage much sampling for comparison, size wasn’t much of an issue. Perhaps my post “Sex Is Highly Underrated” would give a different slant on what’s ultimately important over the “long” haul. See if you think it’s relevant. 🙂

    • Kozo says:

      Thanks, Eileen. I will check out your post later today. I agree we often forget to look at the bigger picture because we are so focused on small details. 🙂 {{{hugs]}} Kozo

  29. Anonymous says:

    Large or small, good or bad, long or short – we silly humans, as if it matters. All is beautiful in Freedom. Thanks for sharing with such honesty. Hugs……kai

    • Kozo says:

      Thanks for visiting, Kai. All is beautiful; we are all one; God does not make junk. These are things I have to constantly remind myself. {{{hugs]} Kozo

  30. Kozo, this is going to be one of those blog posts, in all my years of blogging that I will never forget. Your honesty is truly moving. From what I’ve read from your posts, this one and others, I think that you are a bigger man than most. A compassionate man gets my vote any day.

    • Kozo says:

      Thank you so much, Esperanza. When it comes to honesty, courage, and hugs, you are my mentor. I don’t think I could have written this post if I had not read so many posts like yours and other BBFs. I agree we need more compassionate men in this world. My mission is to start cultivating compassion in men as soon as possible. {{{hugs]}} Kozo

  31. Sarah says:

    Holy honesty, Kozo!! Talk about putting it out there. My hat’s off to you for being so, um, revealing. Loved everything about this post. It is definitely one of my all-time faves. And, I love that your wife said it wasn’t THAT small!! Lol!! It’s a blessing to know beyond all doubt that our loved ones love US. Our best couple-friends, my hubby and I have a good laugh about how all the women in our neighbourhoods are out pounding the pavement to keep their bodies fit lest their husbands turn them in for second (or third!) wives. My gf and I just laugh because we both need to shave some pounds and know for a fact our hubbies aren’t going anywhere so, perhaps, lack the same motivation. Poor men. The punch line is always when her husband says he wishes she could at least be a little nervous! Insecurities of the flesh be damned, I say. It’s what’s in our hearts, minds and souls that count. And, in those ways, my friend, I’d say you are indeed well-endowed. Hugs to you!! s. xoxo

  32. […] to my life and I consider many of you to be BBFs (blogger best friends – via Kozo at everyday gurus – his “Small Penis Post” is to-die-for, btw. Please take a peek! It made my […]

  33. […] EverydayGurus – The Small Penis Guru […]

  34. […] /Electronic Bag Lady’s Bag o’ Bits – Counterproductive Counterintuitiveness /EverydayGurus – The Small Penis Guru /Indira – Counterintuition /Rarasaur- Don’t read this. […]

  35. Big post – big man. Pure awesome. :0)

    • Kozo says:

      Thanks for the comment and the follow, Hazy Shades. Seems like we have lot of common friends. Great to meet you. {{{hugs}}} Kozo

  36. theINFP says:

    You are a man with the biggest heart, courage and strength that I am fortunate to call a friend! I on the other hand have difficulty letting go of negative reactions to people, low self esteem and live on an emotional roller coaster. Oh we’ll what can we do except embrace who we are, be there for the people we love and make the best of our situation? Robert

    • Kozo says:

      I, too, ” have difficulty letting go of negative reactions to people, low self esteem and live on an emotional roller coaster.” Luckily, blogging has helped with all these issues. I was just meditating this morning and having a really tough time letting go of some negative reactions I’ve gotten over the past few weeks. We are all works in progress trying to stay in the perfection of the now. I am grateful for your friendship and positive reactions. They both help me grow beyond those other negative reactions. {{{hugs]}} Kozo

  37. dadirri7 says:

    great post kozo .. my husband always boasts that he has the world’s smallest penis … but he knows what to do with it in the most satisfying way … that is all that counts … i am sure you do too 🙂

    • Kozo says:

      Your husband is my hero if he boasts about having a small penis. Such confidence and self-compassion. I think I make up for my lack in the sack with my love during the day. haha. {{{hugs}}} Kozo

  38. Geo Sans says:


    is more about confidence

    in oneself

    than one’s body



    has imperfections





    being open

    of our

    humbling characteristics

    often reflects

    one’s integrity



    on our imperfections

    creating channels

    further understanding

    of our personal growth


    your soul stands and applauds

  39. Jas Baku says:

    OMG Kozo it is so bloody brave of you to post this.
    Just sent it to a friend who could relate.
    nb. I’ve slept with a few blokes with small willies (not my friend), and they all made up for it by being utter pricks, with massive egos. Guess it comes out of insecurity?
    I’m so glad you have been able to transform your situation into a journey of strength, empathy and love. (Only real men can do stuff like that ;~)

    • Kozo Hattori says:

      To be honest, Jas, I, too, was an “utter prick” with a “massive ego.” Yes, we all try to hide our insecurity by overcompensating. I love the way you punned on the word “prick.” Now that I have confessed, I do feel free to be more compassionate and loving. Funny how insecurities work.
      I think a lot more guys can relate to this post. Thanks for passing it on. {{{hugs}}} Kozo

      • Jas Baku says:

        Cool 🙂
        Yeah, being a big prick to make up for having a small prick doesn’t work, does it. Makes you wonder if our world leaders and most racists actually have very small willies, but haven’t worked out that the equation doesn’t follow, doesn’t it… 😉

  40. John says:

    Thank you for sharing. I admit, I came across this while searching “small penis”. I won’t go into detail, but suffice to say I have struggled with sexual obsession particularly penis size. Also, I am in therapy for sex addiction. I am on the cusp of self-acceptance and self-love. I am fighting a history of “sexual negativity” and trying to put it into context of a happy life. I have signed up to follow you blog (my first!) and look forward to reading more. Your words have been so helpful to my soul! Blessings!

    • Kozo Hattori says:

      If you are on the cusp of self-acceptance and self-love, John, I’d say you have arrived. Self-validation and self-love are/have always been tough obstacles for me. Funny, but posting this confession really helped me learn to love and validate myself. Who would have thought?
      Thank you for following, and please feel free to comment or contribute at any time.
      {{{Hugs}}} Kozo

  41. Kelly Kuhn says:

    Thank you, Kozo. I’m feeling oddly humbled and teary from this post. Thank you.

    • Kozo Hattori says:

      Thanks, Kelly. I am honored by your tears and humility. Funny, but after posting this article, I feel so much more complete. So much bigger in a sense. {{{hugs}}} Kozo

  42. freespirit424 says:

    Kozo, your post is amazingly funny, but at the same time honest and sincere. I love it, and to be honest I don’t like a large penis. I lived in Barbados for a long time and after a few boyfriends, I gave up going out. Big pricks usually mean big egos and both hurt my pride and my vagina…thanks for the like on my ‘About’ page. After a post like this, I must follow. I love what you are trying to do. The feminist movement needs more fellows like you.

    • Kozo Hattori says:

      Thanks, Sandra. I am so grateful for all the work individuals like you have done to lay the groundwork for peace, environmental awareness, and equality.

      Yeah, I was a bit of a paradox because I had a small penis, but a big ego. I’ve seemed to come back down to reality lately.

      Thanks for the follow. {{{hugs]}} Kozo

  43. inventor says:

    I’m 22 years old and I too have a small penis. Only about 3 1/2 inches. I’ve been so depressed about it. I pretty much have avoided dating. It’s nice to see this post though. It gives me some hope.

    • Kozo Hattori says:

      I been there, Inventor. Open your heart and forget about society’s measurement system. Love is more important than pounding flesh. You have a lot of courage just posting your comment.
      I also started practicing a form of tantric. Check out my coaching program if you want more info:
      The program is for all relationships not just marriage.
      May you be free from suffering. May you find peace and joy.
      {{{Hugs}}} Kozo

  44. inventor says:

    Thanks, I’m working on my self esteem. I still avoid women/sex like the plague. The length I gave was erect, so this isn’t imagined either. I hope I can find a woman like you did. Your an inspiration.

    • Kozo Hattori says:

      One quick tip, Inventor. No matter how long your penis is, you can always touch someone’s heart. Imagine that you have the perfect tool to heal your loved one’s heart. That is what everyone is looking for. People may think they are looking for big breasts, big dicks, or flat stomachs, but what we all need is a loving heart.
      Also, if anyone ever rejects you because of size, then consider it their loss. Be the person who people want to emulate, regardless of physical attributes.
      May you be free from suffering. May you find peace and joy. {{{Hugs}}} kozo

  45. inventor says:

    Thanks, I’m going to use your advice.

  46. Ant Smith says:

    hurrah! size matters too much to men. Insightful but funny small penis size poem.

    It’s a shame we’re so far into our forties before realising this. Compatibility is what matters, so openess is key.

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