I got an email from an old surfer friend who watched the video about driving I posted on the homepage of PeaceInRelationships.com. He said that his conversion from an offensive driver to a “let it go” driver saved him unnecessary conflict and anger.
My friend’s comment got me thinking. What if we could be not just “let it go” drivers, but “let it go” humans? What if we could “let go” of all our grudges, resentments, hurts, and offenses?
This reminded me of what Deepak Chopra claims turned his life around. Chopra has said that refusing to be offended brought a peace in his life that he had never felt before. Think about the phrase, “I take offense to that.” Read in one way, this means that you are going on the offense. You are becoming an attacker. Where is the peace in this?
Of course, whenever I think I discovered a new secret in life, I realize that thousands of others knew this years ago.
“Whatever will be, will be”~Rumi
How do you remind yourself to “let go”? Please share.
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Letting go–not holding on=freedom. The message is clear, Geo Sans. Forgiveness sets us free. {{{hugs}}} to you and your family. Kozo
I like that – refusing to be offended. What a simple idea. It’s time for me to embrace it. Thanks Kozo (((((((hugs))))))) Alison
I’m right there with you, Alison. Time for me to embrace non-offense as well. I practiced Aikido for years and still wasn’t able to open myself to giving up all desires for offense. Guess the Universe is patient. 🙂 {{{hugs]}} Kozo
This is the most difficult for me. In our culture of sports and military, it is said “the best defense is a good offense” maybe, with this, we are brainwashed. We are always offended and we must defend. I like Chopra’s suggestion very much. I will be more aware and refuse to be offended. I also like the reminder to “let it be.” I will let it go, and breathe deeply. Thank you Kozo!
I completely agree, Karen. Our society brainwashes us to be quick to the trigger. What I have found is that this leads to so much suffering. Funny how our society leads us towards suffering. Part of me wants to be offended, but then I remind myself that great transformation comes through great suffering. {{{Hugs}}} Kozo
Reblogged this on Jake Kuyser and commented:
It’s all to easy to get offended by what looks like bad driving or bad behaviour. It’s worth making the effort to deliberately not take offense. It can be difficult to do but can make life easy. To see that someone simply made a human mistake and to err is to be human.
Thanks for the reblog, Jake. I would add the rest of the quotation–“to forgive is divine.” In my eyes, it is not only God-like to forgive, but it is also divine as in heavenly or really good, as in “that chocolate cake was divine.” {{{hugs}}} Kozo
Oh, Kozo, I am so with you on “discovering” what others knew thousands of years ago. I had that thought this very morning and this time, I found it comforting in the vein of “if I discovered it, then others not only have but might.” Sometimes, however, it feels as if I will “never get it.” Yet, delightful posts such as yours remind me to be a “let it go human” so I can keep discovering rather than covering up. As always, a great post.
Karen
Haha, K., we seem to have the same thoughts–sometimes at the same time. I, too, have thought ‘if I get it, someone else might” and “will I ever get it?” Then I keep reminding myself that there is nothing to get. We already have it. We just have to realize what we have. Letting go seems to bring things into clarity–polish the mirror. Love reflecting with you. {{{hugs}}} Kozo
I so needed this! I’m still struggling big time right now with hurt (work related). I shall watch your videos & read all your comments. One thing that caught me right away…”Lifting the crown of Thorns” Powerful, my friend.
Thanks, M. Hope it serves. {{{Hugs}}} kozo
That is how I am learning to go through life. I have suffered from severe clinical depression most of my life. Using this philosophy has been instrumental in being free at last from depression.
Great to hear that freedom from depression is possible through changing our minds. Mindset is so powerful, AA. Thank God for freedom. {{{Hugs}}}} Kozo
I never believed I could change my mindset. I guess I had to finally reach rock bottom and make a serious attempt at suicide before I could change.
I had to hit rock bottom as well, AA. I didn’t find rock bottom through suicide, but it was just as painful to me and those around me. The change of mindset, however, was worth it. Hope you feel the same way. {{{Hugs}}} Kozo
Yes. In many ways hitting bottom was worth it.
When we let go, or let it go, we are at one with the world. Most importantly we’re at one with ourselves. I wrote this Let Go post a while back, we are thinking similar things: http://fecthis.wordpress.com/2012/12/09/let-go/
I remember that post, Tracy. It reminded me of the Dalai Lama quotation that the most important word in English is “let.” Brilliant minds think a like. 🙂 {{HUgs}} Kozo
I enjoyed reading others’ comments, knowing that I am not the only one who struggles at times with letting go. I remind myself to be logical, not emotional, but this is easier said than done. That’s when I ask God for guidance.
I like how you mentioned that everyone has their own crown of thorns. Because when we do let emotions (anger, jealousy, revenge, etc.) take over, we cannot feel empathy for others. Empathy and sympathy will help you find inner peace.
Couldn’t agree more, BM. “Empathy and sympathy will help you find inner peace.” This is my path. {{{Hugs}} kozo
Just let it go and enjoy life…
Yep. So simple, Lumar. Let’s just do it. haha. {{{ Hugs}}} Kozo
Years ago I “heard” a little something in my heart: Benefit of the doubt.
I find that if I make the choice to assume I am not the cause of another person’s rudeness, anger, thoughtlessness, whatever (and most often that is the case), then I am able to give a smile to them because THEY probably are in pain from another source, and it’s simply bubbling out on me.
In the case of my immediate family, I am more likely the cause of the pain itself, so their negative reaction is my fault anyway. In both cases, it costs me nothing to give kindness in return. And the benefit comes back to me almost immediately – the situation is diffused and harmony created instead of discord.
This little phrase has been my mainstay ever since – when I remember to recite it to myself. 🙂 It costs me nothing to give everyone the benefit of the doubt.
I LOVE this, JF. I’ve been thinking lately that I don’t give my boys the benefit of the doubt. I assume that when the older one hits the younger one, he was being mean and malicious. I also don’t let my boys be wrong sometimes.
So I guess what I am saying is that combining benefit of the doubt with forgiveness is a great path to peace.
{{{Hugs]}} kozo
Indeed. 🙂
When my girls (19 months apart) were young, I tried to never let them create a victim. I didn’t give them attention when they tattled (unless it was to remove one of them from danger), but instead sent them to their room with the admonition, “Beat each other up until you’re both dead.” They were playing happily 30 seconds later, without fail. 🙂 I think the victim mentality is something people in general gravitate to – “woah is me”. Not a good way to live.
Just my 2 cents.
Peace to you,
C