My 3 year old pooped in the tub, AGAIN.
I reacted like I normally do–I screamed bloody murder. What was different this time was that I was conscious of what I was doing.
It was as if I was standing outside of myself watching like a silent bystander. “What an idiot,” I mused as I watched me spiral into more and more anger as the poo contaminated water splashed all over the bathroom floor.
I became painfully aware that the screaming me was running a program without any thought or compassion. The screaming me was angry not because of the situation, but because it seemed like being angry was the proper response. The observer me noted that one of the reasons I was screaming had nothing to do with my son or the poo. I was screaming so that my wife who was in the kitchen could hear. I was screaming because I felt unappreciated for ALWAYS having to clean up the poo.
On hindsight, this is a bit of an exaggeration. I’m sure my wife has cleaned up some of my sons’ poo. In the bigger picture, she has cleaned up a lot of my messes.
I also noticed how my sons did not know why I was screaming, but it adversely affected them. My 3 year old looked confused at first, then disappointed (in me or himself, I could not tell). My 5 year old flinched every time I raised my voice. He is a highly sensitive child, and I forget how loud noises rock his psyche.
So what is the take-away?
Stop running these mindless programs. We all have these programs wired into us. We think we should RE-ACT a certain way when something happens. But the truth is that we are simply ACTing. We can change the script.
I’ve been doing some research into quantum physics and neurobiology lately. Cutting edge research in what is called neuroplasticity has proven that we can re-wire our brains by thinking different thoughts. We actually have complete control of literally how we shape our brains and, thus, our reality.
As parents, we have to realize that we are programming our children with our ACTING and RE-ACTING. We are shaping their brain webs and scripting how they will see reality. Will they see compassion, empathy, and forgiveness? Or will they see anger, rage, and condemnation?
Next time, I will remember that doodie is “no big deal.” What is a big deal is how I am teaching my children to react to accidents.
Thank you for reading, sharing, and/or smiling.
Have you ever noticed yourself mindlessly running a program or RE-ACTING in a way that wasn’t you? Please share.
- Eating and Pooping (my first poop post, consider yourself warned) (surprisemama.com)