Aloha Healing 10/4/2015

moon_day_last ‘Ole Kû Pau
Māhoe Hope 4

Had “The Talk” with my mom this morning. And it was…beautiful.

At one point I asked her how she could let her child get beaten in front of her eyes.

She said that she sometimes tried to pull my step-father off of me, but he would shove her away. She also shared that she would often cry afterwards or blame herself for what happened because she had said something that caused the beatings.

When I heard these confessions, I remembered times when my mom was crying after I got beaten. I also vaguely remember her trying to pull my step-father off of me.

She also said that she would try to talk to my step-father afterwards and tell him that it was too much, but he wouldn’t listen. She even told him that he needed anger management work, but he said that she didn’t know what she was talking about.

It felt good to know that my mother was trying to help me. I thanked her and told her that I loved her.

Later in the evening, in a healing session with Roma Hammel, I told Roma about the talk with my mother. She stopped me mid-sentence and said, “Where are you in your body right now?”

I was no where to be found–all mind, all talk. She then lead me back into my body to “restore to life” that inner child that had learned to dissociate in order to protect himself. I was trying to resuscitate him, but I wasn’t present enough in my own body to blow life back into him.

Roma asked me about when I felt most alive. I told her about a wave I caught while in college at UCSB. It was a huge day at Campus Point, and I pulled into a gaping barreling right. I was so far back in the tube that I instinctually reached my right hand forward which shifted the weight on my surfboard. The foam ball inside the tube came up under my board and shoved me out of the barreling wave.

After I told this story in the present tense as if it was happening right now, my whole body was buzzing with excitement, adrenaline, and aliveness.

“That is the way I want you to bring that young child back to life,” Roma said. “Just like that wave, I want you to shove him gently back into embodiment.”

We went and found the inner child again, and I breathed strong breaths into his body. I pulled him to my heart and let him feel my love.

When he came back to life, we let him vent his anger: “Stop. Never again! Don’t touch me,” we screamed.

Then I cradled him again and told him how I would protect him and never leave him. How I loved him: “Thank you for all the love and joy you bring into my life,” I whispered.

At a certain point that child that I was cradling became me. Roma asked if I wanted to lay on the floor. So I laid down in the fetal position. She covered me with blankets and stroked my back, legs, and hair. After sometime, she left the room, “You can stay here as long as you want, even hours.”

I lay there reliving so many amazing experiences in my life. It felt like I was sharing these experiences with that child who had missed out because he was numb or asleep. After about 45 minutes, I opened my eyes and the whole room looked different. I saw colors and shapes I had never seen before, even though I had been in this room dozens of times. My body felt different as well.

Roma came back and asked me to tell me my name, “Marshall Makala Kozo Hattori,” I said.

“Say it like the warrior that you are,” Roma replied.

“Marshall Makala Kozo Hattori,” I roared.

“Yes, embody that gentle warrior. Be fully present and substantive to who you are,” she said.

“What is up for you now?” Roma asked.

When I told her how i was going to continue blogging and sharing this dis-ease to help and heal others, she said, “You are contracting again. Do you feel that? We tend to revert back to our old habits. Fully inhabit who you are.”

I was reminded of an experience I had at the healing ceremony with Michael. Michael asked if anyone wanted to share a prayer, so I started chanting a Hawaiian oli–E ala E. On the second time through, I felt the presence of powerful ancestors behind me chanting through my body and mouth.

After the ceremony, everyone shared that how much power they felt when I invoked Hawaiian spirits into the space.

What I am realizing is that I need to embody those ‘aumakua, as well as the ‘unihipili (child/unconscious spirit in Morrnah Simeona’s ho’oponopono practice) at all times.

Like the sun, I must shine brightly no matter how dark the clouds. The oli, E ala e, is actually a sunrise prayer that means “Arise! Awaken!”

So grateful for all the Light, Love, and Wisdom I was shone today.

When I was leaving my mom’s house, she said, “Well, I hope everything turns out ok.”

“It already has, mom,” I said truthfully.

Diet

Raw foods and juices with oatmeal. I’m really enjoying the flax seed crackers I dehydrated.

Exercise

Did morning prayers before heading to my mom’s. While saying the St. Francis prayer, I couldn’t remember the third line, even though I say this prayer every day.

Finally it dawned on me walking back to my car, “Lord make me an instrument of thy peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love. Where there is injury, pardon.”

This reminded me of why I was going to my mom’s house.

Later in the afternoon, I took a nap then swam 7 laps in the pool. In the peak of summer I was swimming 10 laps, so I feel pretty good about doing 7 today.

Relationships

So much love and connection with my mom and my younger self. I feel loved and loving.

Spirituality

I’m learning to balance compassion with power and presence. I want to continue emitting Light and Love through each and every cell in my body. Embodied awakening is a moment by moment practice.

Kūkae (BM)

7:30 AM small sediment and a little blood followed by large “hot” BM with no blood

1:40 PM liquidy BM with blood

5:00 PM small BM with blood

6:40 PM small BM, mostly blood

The blood came back today, but not nearly as much or as frequent as before. Staying patient and observant. I’m kind of curious what each day brings.

Aloha Healing 9/29/2015

waning moonLâ’au Kû Kahi
Māhoe Hope 29

Wow! Powerful day. I was invited to a healing ceremony by Michael Brabant. When I showed up in Oakland at 7:30 PM, I stepped into a whole new world.

Michael had rearranged his loft to create a healing container full of beauty, organization, spirit, and intention. The room was carefully arranged so each participant had a specific seat in the mandala. Everything was accounted for including sage, tissues, Blue Solar water bottles with matching blue glass goblets, an alter, and a healing mat.

Michael’s friend, Tylor brought a truck load of crystals that were carefully placed around the room, on the alter, on the healing mat, and in the four corners. The stone sitting in front of me looked like a salt water aquarium, When I peered into it, it went 3D with faces, animals, and clouds. Sitting next to the face-like stone were two long quartz “arms.” At one point in the ceremony, I felt like this arrangement became a living spirit with arms open wide to accept me just as I was.

The fourth participant was a kind-hearted and courageous woman named Simone. Around 8 PM we gathered around the alter and started the ceremony.

I can’t really describe what happened during the ceremony that ended around 1 AM, but let me just say that I experienced so many layers of healing that were far beyond the body. My diagnosed dis-ease was just a hiccup in the larger spiritual growth that I sensed into.

Healing rituals included prayer, natural medicine, Brazilian hymns, indigenous flute playing, Hawaiian Ho’oponopono, crystal energy work, a powerful sharing circle, and delicious high-vibration vegetarian food. At the end of the ceremony, Michael announced that he is gifting the entire ceremony to all of us. All the work, preparation, care, intention, time, food, and money to host this powerful healing were given freely: “When you heal, we all heal,” Michael said at one point in the ceremony.

The whole night, I was flooded with gratitude. During the ceremony, I felt so honored and privileged to be invited to this circle. As I lay on the healing mat while the others sang prayers in Portuguese above and around me, I couldn’t think of anywhere I’d rather be at that moment. At multiple points in the night, I felt the profound presence of the Divine Mother, ‘Aumakua (ancestral spirits), healing angels, and life force (mana, chi, ki, prana) flowing in, around, and through me.

In the post ceremony meal, eating fresh guacamole with cucumber slices and organic Fuji apples, I calculated how priceless this experience was. So when Michael said it was freely given, it blew my mind and heart wide open. It made me realize that angels do exist and God is looking out for each and every one of us. I also felt the kuleana (responsibility) to give because I have been given so much.

If you ever get the chance to do a ceremony, a workshop, or a private session with Michael Brabant don’t hesitate for one second. It will change your life.

I’m not sure what the physical manifestations of this ceremony will be going forward, but it almost doesn’t matter. What matters is not matter. The peace, unity, love, community, hope, faith, compassion, and power I experienced last night helped me to see this cancer diagnosis as one of the greatest gifts i have ever received.

Diet

These are my daily treatments at this point in time:

  • Protandim first thing in the morning.
  • Chia Seed, flax meal, Moringa mixed with alkaline water
  • Apex nano-silver in the morning and evening
  • Fresh juiced kale, cucumber, carrot, beet, celery, and granny smith apple mixed with spirulina
  • a quart of Trader Joe’s organic carrot juice consumed throughout the day
  • Oatmeal with flax seed oil, walnuts, honey, and dates
  • Mangosteen juice in the morning and evening.
  • Cod Liver Oil for vitamin D3
  • mostly raw organic vegetarian food throughout the day
  • nuts for protein
  • about 3/4 gallon of 10.0 Kangen water throughout the day

Exercise

Took it easy today after the ceremony, but I felt a lot of energy. Wasn’t tired walking up stairs or running errands.

Relationships

So many relationships with the incarnate and disincarnate were nurtured today. I can’t even begin to understand or remember how much peace and unity I experienced with individuals and collectives today.

Spirituality

Delving deep into all the different doorways to spirit. Overall, I’m grateful to be alive in this manifestation at this present moment, right here, right now. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Kūkae (BM)

I kept a log of kûkae today. I’m using this to monitor my health, not for blog readers. 🙂

6:20 AM Little blood and sediment followed by large BM

9:40 AM Large BM with little to no blood

3:45 PM little blood with small BM

5:45 blood and sediment

1 AMish After ceremony I had a large amount of sediment pass with blood

Definitely noticing less blood, more regular bowel movements, and more sediment with not as much blood.