How to Win An Argument

“If you think you are truly enlightened, go spend a weekend with your parents”~Ram Dass

I’ve found that my greatest teachers on the path to awakening are my closest family members. The other day  at a family gathering, I mentioned how I attended a seminar with Dr. Dan Siegel who mentioned a new study  that reveals how the college you choose for undergrad has no effect on your future success, happiness, or well-being.

“I don’t believe it,” said my cousin’s wife.

“Google and Facebook will not even think about hiring you if you don’t come from one of the top schools,” said another cousin.

I tried to counter with “you don’t have to work at Google or Facebook to be successful or happy,” but it fell on deaf ears. I found myself getting activated–my shoulders tensed, my heart-rate jumped.

After an antagonistic argument, I felt disconnected. I confessed my frustration to one of my cousins, who said, “every study has a different study that argues the exact opposite.”

I realized that if people aren’t ready to hear something, it doesn’t matter how much research, documentation, or authority you have, they won’t hear it. This reminded me of the saying, “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.”

My biggest realization was that I was egotistically trying to be the teacher to “students” who were not ready. I often make this mistake in blogging, writing, and everyday life. I try to “enlighten” other with my point of view. This might stem from some insecurity or need for attention, but what really matters is to become aware of this tendency and to stop.

I am dedicating myself to “be the change I wish to see in the world” and “preach the gospel at all times, and when necessary use words.” I want this blog to be about serving others, not telling them what to do or how to live. Please let me know if I ever start preaching to you in any manner or imposing my point of view as the Truth. You are all my family. You are all my gurus. I appreciate your wisdom and guidance.

{{{Hugs}}} Kozo

This post is for the Monthly Peace Challenge: We Are Family. Specifically, it answers the prompt: “Tell a story about a family event that included “necessary suffering” and healing/forgiveness.”

Check out these other brave posts for peace:

Bad Dreams–A Letter to My Mother

Letter to My Mom

A Letter to Me