“Whose Suffering Matters Less and Why?”

This quotation comes from Dr. Sri quoting his mentor June Jordan. Dr. Sri points this question at the medical profession—Why is the outbreak of ebola not news until the threat crosses American or European borders? Why do African American women like June Jordan receive unequal care when suffering from the same diseases as white women?

I took this question to heart and began inquiring into suffering on a daily basis. When I’m driving a car and someone is refusing to turn right on a red light, why is it that my impatience is more important than another person’s safety?

When I threaten my sons with no video games unless they complete their homework, why does my need for order matter more than their need for play or rest?

I quickly noticed that I often judge people before I empathize with them.

Jeannie Kawajhy tells a story from her childhood about a girl who got pregnant and had a baby out of wedlock. It was a great shock and this girl was being ostracized by her friends, the town, and, even, her own family. Finally, the girl scout leader came forward and said, “You know this girl needs our support, encouragement, and help; she does not need our judgment.”

I’m going to make an intention to look for ways I can empathize, support, and serve when I feel judgment arising.

At a meditation circle on Tuesday, a dear friend told the story about her grandaunt who had a “marvelous temper.” She was working at Aravind Eye Clinic in India. One of the janitors didn’t do a very good job keeping the clinic sterile, so she raged at him. Dr. V., the founder of the clinic and this woman’s brother, witnessed the scolding and called his sister into his office.

“Were you yelling at his body or at his soul?” he asked. “Because if you were yelling at his soul then that is God’s territory.”

When I judge people, too often, I judge their soul. Our criminal justice system mirrors this prejudice. “Once a felon always a felon.” Once accused of a crime, your suffering doesn’t matter anymore. I’ve heard people say things like, “they deserve to be raped in prison.” Let me be clear here: NO ONE deserves to be raped in prison or anywhere, ever.

When we judge another person’s soul, we forget that they too are the Divine, regardless of what their bodies have done. Mother Teresa said, “I see Jesus in every human being. I say to myself, this is hungry Jesus, I must feed him. This is sick Jesus. This one has leprosy or gangrene; I must wash him and tend to him. I serve because I love Jesus.”

Everyone’s suffering matters to ascendant masters like Mother Teresa. I’m no Mother Teresa, but I can make an attempt to judge less and serve more. I find that this practice lessens the suffering in the world, not only the suffering of others, but also my own.

 

 

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Cancer Free at Last

IMG_3063

Free at last, Free at Last, Thank God almighty we are free at last.”—Martin Luther King Jr.

After two and a half years since diagnosed with Stage 2 colorectal cancer, I’m cancer free. I don’t mean that I don’t have any cancer in my body, because we all have cancerous cells in our bodies. I mean cancer has set me free.

Cancer showed me how to embrace and bless everything that life has to offer. This freedom to love all that arises has made all the difference. Nowadays, when I hear myself saying, “God Dammit!” I immediately stop and say, “God Bless It!” because I know that everything is a blessing.

Pierre Pradervand, author of The Gentle Art of Blessing, said it best:

“When something goes completely askew in your day, some unexpected event knocks down your plans and you too also, burst into blessing: for life is teaching you a lesson, and the very event you believe to be unwanted, you yourself called forth, so as to learn the lesson you might balk against were you not to bless it. Trials are blessings in disguise, and hosts of angels follow in their path.”

I see now that I “called forth” cancer to teach me deep lessons. Cancer revealed to me the “hosts of angels” both visible and invisible that are available at any moment. From my Hawaiian Grandfather, who died of lung cancer over 20 years ago, to members of my meditation circle and men’s group to my two Shi Tzu dogs lying on the couch as I type, the world is full of angels to guide us, help us, and love us through thick and thin.

It is so amazing to be back—as a father, a blogger, a human being. I have so much to share with you. Stay tuned.

 

Aloha Healing 12/17/2015

 

 

‘Ole Kû Lua
Makali’i 17

 I have been getting Healing Touch treatments at Stanford Cancer Center every Monday. A volunteer named Beth Orlando gives me an hour energetic healing that is very similar to reiki.
After almost every one of these sessions, I have had some pretty consistent bleeding.
     I have a feeling that these sessions are moving energy that is causing my body to reject the tumor which leads to bleeding.
     I am so grateful to Beth for her self-less service and for Stanford Cancer Center for offering an alternative treatment like Healing Touch for free. Beth tells me that Stanford has a whole training program for volunteers interested in healing touch.
     Great to see an allopathic, well-known medical center like Stanford implementing alternative treatments as a part of their healing protocol.
Diet
     I’ve been eating quite a bit of legumes and cooked vegetables lately since the weather has been so cold. Somehow a cold salad just doesn’t feel right when it is 40 degrees outside.
     One of my favorite meals is a copy-cat of the Chipotle salad complete with grilled red and green peppers and onions, guacamole, black beans, and honey vinaigrette.
    I’ve also been adding pomegranate to my morning vegetable juice. It adds a tangy sweetness and is supposedly good for breaking down tumors.
Exercise
     It has been harder and harder to get outside to do my Aloha movements since there is frost on the rooftops most mornings. I am sleeping longer, perhaps in a semi-hibernation mode.
Relationships
     I had an amazing men’s group where the other members helped me see how I’m still angry/sad about Thanksgiving. It boils down to being hurt that my family isn’t supporting me in ways I expected.
      At one point, I realized that most people aren’t well versed or practicing holding space for others. Our men’s group practices non-judgmental, empathic, compassionate listening every other week. To expect that from my family is asking a lot.

 

I am so grateful for the men’s group, Awakin Circles, Service Space, and this blog for all the empathy, compassion, connection, and love they [You all} generously offer.

Spirituality

IMG_1766Woke up the other morning and told 5 year old Fox that I had to go do my prayers.

“Why can’t I do the prayers with you,” asked Fox.

At first, I thought it was too cold to take him outside, but then I decided to just do the prayers indoors with him.

We stood in front of the Christmas tree and did the whole set of prayers in unison including Hawaiian chants, St. Francis prayer, Ho’oponopono prayers, and the Aloha chant.

It was adorable to watch Fox sing “Ua mau ke ea o ka ‘âina I ka pono” while bowing.

At Awakin Circle last night, Harshida Aunty shared that sometimes she feels she should go outside to be in the beauty of nature. Then she will look out a window and see a butterfly.

“Beauty is everywhere,” said Harshida with a smile.

It felt so refreshing and powerful to do prayers indoors with a 5 year old child.

________

At the same Awakin Circle, Birju shared how he spoke to an indigenous elder who was at the Paris Climate Change talks. The elder said that the only thing that is going to fix climate change is love. Modern man (I specify gender intentionally here) has lost touch with loving the land.

In Hawaii, they live “Aloha ‘Āina” which means love of the land. The indigenous elder reminds me of Auntie Pîlahi Pâkî standing in front of the 1970 governor’s conference saying, “…in the next millennium the world will turn to Hawai’i in its search for world peace because Hawai’i has the key…and that key is Aloha.”

I also thought about those Hawaiian protesters who are picketing the construction of the 10 meter telescope on Mauna Kea. They chant, “Ku Kia’i Mauna” which roughly translates to “stand guard of the mountain.”

A Native American elder once told me, “If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for everything.”

The message is clear. Start loving the earth, land, gia at all costs.

Kūkae (BM)

12/2 Wednesday
7:30 AM BS small BM
8:30 AM BS Large BM
3:30 PM BS small BM
5:45 PM BS
6:30 PM BS
12/3 Thursday
2 AM BS lots
7 AM BS lots BM med
9 AM Med BM Small BS
6 PM BS small BM
8 PM BS lots Med BM
10:40 PM BS
12/4 Friday
6:40 AM BS
8:30 AM BS Med BM
12 PM BS small BM
6 PM BS small BM
9 AM BS
10 AM BS
12/5 Saturday
6:30 AM Large BM little BS
8 AM Large BM
1 PM BS
3:30 pm bs
10 pm bs
12/6 Sunday
7 AM BS
9 AM XLRG BM Little BS
12 PM Small BM brown wet
2 PM tiny BS
8 PM little BS brown
9:30 PM Lots of BS
12/7 Monday
2 AM Lots BS
6:30 AM BS
7 AM BS
8:30 AM Med BM BS
11 AM Lrg BM
3 PM BS small BM after healing touch
7 PM lots of BS
8 PM BS
9 PM BS
11 PM Lots BS
12/8 Tuesday
3:30 AM BS
7 AM BS
8 AM BS med BM
8:40 AM Med BM
3:20 PM BS small BM
7:30 PM Lots of BS
10 PM BS
11 PM BS
12/9 Wednesday
3:30 AM BS
7 AM BS small BM
8:30 AM Lrg BM
3 PM tiny BS
7 PM BS
10:30 PM BS
11:30 PM BS
12/10 Thursday
7 AM BS med BM
9:30 AM Huge BM tiny BS
5 PM BS
7:30 PM BS
9:30 PM BS
12/11 Friday
2 AM BS
6 AM BS
7:30 AM BS
8:30 AM Large BM little B
12 PM Large BM
4 PM Large BM
7 PM BS
12/12 Saturday
3:30 AM BS
7 AM tiny BS
9 AM small BM tiny BS
11:30 AM Small BM little B
12/13 Sunday
12 AM BS
2:30 AM BS
7:30 AM BS
9:30 AM Large BM
1:30 PM small brown S
7:30 PM BS med BM
12/14 Monday
12 AM S+little B
5 AM S+little B
7 AM S+little B+XL BM
11:30 AM BS small BM
6 PM tiny S
7 PM BS small BM
9:30 PM BS small BM
12/15 Tuesday
1 AM BS
7 AM small BM
9 AM Large BM little B
4:30 PM Med BM BS
5 PM BS
7 PM BS
9 PM BS
11 PM BS
12/16 Wednesday
1:30 AM BS
6:30 AM BS small BM
9 AM BS
12 PM BS
5 PM  BS
6 PM BS
11 PM BS
1 AM BS
8 AM BS
8:30 AM BS med BM
9:30 AM Med BM
12 PM Med BM

Aloha Healing 12/2/2015

‘Ole Pau
Welehu 2

Reading a book called Radical RemissionKelly Turner, the author, found over one thousand documented cases of cancer patients healing from cancer without Western medicine or after Western medicine had failed. She interviewed 50 of these patients as well as alternative healers and found that most of these patients shared 9 healing factors. I was happy to find that I am already doing most of the 9 healing factors.
Radical Remission Aloha Healing
Factor One Radically Change Diet Eliminate all sugar, meat, flour, fruit, dairy

Drink fresh vegetable juice daily

Increase Raw Foods

Consume only Organic or Homegrown

No processed foods

Factor Two Take Control of Your Health Refuse Chemo, Radiation, Surgery

Research and Implement Custom Treatment Plan

Use HCG testing to monitor treatment

Factor Three Follow Your Intuition “Ike” my “mana’o”

Get in touch with my perineum

Factor Four Use Herbs and Supplements
  • Beta 1A Glucan
  • Moringa
  • Apex
  • Protandim
  • Cod Liver Oil
  • Flax Seed Oil
  • Hemp Seed
  • Olena or Turmeric with Honey
  • Kangen Water
Factor Five Release Suppressed Emotions Heart to Heart with Mom

Inner Child Work

Daily Forgiveness Prayer

Ha Mahiki clearing

Ho’oponopono

Factor Six Increase Positive Emotions Sympathetic Joy and Compassion response

Watch funny movies

Laugh with sons

Pet Skye the puppy

Listen to Hawaiian Music everyday

Factor Seven Embrace Social Support Hugs and Love from wife, kids, and puppy

Awakin Circle every Wednesday Night

Men’s Group

Blogosphere

Empathy Buddy Walks

Coworkers and Boss

Factor Eight Deepen Spiritual Connection Morning Sunrise Prayers

Live Aloha

Gratitude Practices

Factor Nine Have Strong Reasons for Living My family–wife, boys, and puppy

Spread Aloha

Heal the ‘âina

Perhaps my most powerful practice is to relax into faith and patience.

Diet

I’m feeling better, so I’m tempted to be less strict on my diet. At the same time, I don’t want to claim an early victory. A friend of mine said, “you need to error on the side of gentleness,” so I’m going to start putting green apples in my juice in the morning. 🙂

Exercise

I am starting interval training which includes sprints or burpies to raise my heart rate. The goal is to increase heart rate variability. It feels good to do some vigorous exercise again.

Relationships

All’s quiet on the relationship front. Had an interesting Thanksgiving. I felt really disconnected with most of my family on Thursday–might have been because everyone was on their iPads! The night before I went to Awakin Circle meditation and felt deep connections with lots of people I have only known for less than a year.

It reminds me what an Akashic records reader once told me, “Your connection with your spiritual family will be deeper than any blood relationship.”

Spirituality

I have been getting so many messages lately. It seems like whenever I’m thinking about a decision, the Universe will send a message in a song, a text, a book, a phone call, or a conversation. The messages are subtle and open-ended. Not like a commandment, but more like an invitation.

It also feels nice remembering what Marianne Williamson said about the Universe being like a GPS: Whenever we make a “wrong turn,” it just recalibrates and sends us new directions.

Kūkae (BM)

11/19 Friday

6:15 AM BS Extra Lrg BM

9 AM Med BM

12 PM Large BM  Little Blood

9 PM BS

11/20 Sat

6:30 AM BS Lrg BM

9:10 AM Small BM Little B

2:40 PM Small BS

4:15 PM BS

11/22 Sunday

1:30 AM BS 2 drop

6:45 PM BS X-Lrg BM

9:40 AM Med BM Dirty

8  PM BS small BM

11/23 Mon

1 AM Blood and sediment

7:30 AM  BS

8:30 AM Med BM BS

1 PM BS

3 PM BS

6 PM BS

9 PM BS

12 AM BS

11/24 Tues

6 AM BS Sm BM

7 AM Large MB

11 AM Large BM Little B

3:30 PM Large BM + B

11/25 Wed

6 AM Tiny BS

7 AM Tiny BS

11 AM BS

2 PM BS

3 PM BS

6:30 PM BS

11 PM BS

11/26 Thurs

2 AM tiny BS

6 :45 AM BS

7:40 AM Large BM Little BS

9 AM med BM

3:20 PM BS

8:30 PM BS

10:30 PM BS

11/27 Friday

2:40 AM BS Lots

7:45 AM BS Med-Lrg BM

11:45 AM X-Lrg BM Little B

5 PM small BM watery

10 PM BS

11/28 Sat

5:45 AM BS small BM

8:30 AM Med BM small BS

10:30 AM Small BM watery

4:45 PM small BS

8 PM BS

10 PM BS

11/29 Sunday

4 AM BS

9 AM BS small BM

10 AM x-Lrg BM

2 PM BM watery

4:30 PM BS

10 PM BS

11/30 Mon

7:15 AM BS + Med BM

9 AM Med/Lrg BM

12 PM tiny BM watery

7:30 PM BS

10 PM BS

12/1 Tues

6 AM BS

8:40 BS small BM

11:30 AM BS small BM

3 PM BS

5:30 PM BS

7:30 B

12/2 Wed

7:30 AM BS small BM

8:30 AM BS Large BM

3:30 PM  BS Small BM

5:45 PM BS

6:30 PM  BS

10 PM BS

 

Aloha Healings 11/18/2015

first quarter moon ‘Ole Kû Kolu
Welehu 18

We took the boys to the beach the other weekend. Beautiful, warm fall day with no crowds. While watching the surfers, thoughts of jealousy arose. “I could have surfed that wave better.” “Why are claiming that wave, you didn’t do anything?”

I realized that these thoughts were spoiling a beautiful day with my family. Just then, I saw my youngest son running up the beach away from a breaking wave, screaming his lungs out with joy. I couldn’t help but smile.

I decided to step into sympathetic joy with everyone and everything around me. I felt the freedom and thrill of the seagulls skimming the water. I experienced the beginner’s mind of surfers learning how to stand up and turn their longboards. Suddenly, everything became a launching pad for joy and excitement.

Later, I made an intention to only have two responses to any interaction with another sentient being–sympathetic joy or compassion.

I have been practicing this new form of relationship with others for over a week now, and I am amazed at how wonderful, peaceful, and intimate life has become. When someone is rude to me, I step into compassion for their suffering. When someone is overjoyed, I share their jubilation. I can’t think of a better way to go through life.

I noticed that our shitzu, Skye, lives life like this. When one of my sons is crying or whining, Skye howls sympathetically. When we are laughing or excited, Skye barks or runs around in circles feeding off our joy.

skye

Skye reminds me of a poem that has been circulating around mindfulness circles:

If you can sit quietly after difficult news…

If in financial downturns you remain perfectly calm…

If you see your neighbors travel to favorite places without a tinge of jealousy…

If you can happily eat whatever is put on your plate…

If you can love everyone around you unconditionally…

If you can always find contentment just where you are…

You are probably..

A dog.

Diet

Been really enjoying the combinations of veggies that I have been experimenting with. I bought some sauerkraut and made some veggie fajita and sauerkraut sushi the other day. I also made some yummy kale, red pepper, and black bean quinoa that I wrapped in lettuce leaves.

Exercise

Everyday I seem to be getting stronger and stronger. In my morning movements I do a kind of chair pose called “punahou” (young spring). I have been holding this pose longer and longer every week.

A friend gave me a hug over the weekend and said that even though I haven’t gained any weight, my body has a different “texture.” He said that when I first started the juicing, fasting, and eating an all-vegetable diet, he got frightened when he hugged me because I was so skinny and frail. Now he feels strength and health when he hugs me.

Relationships

Practicing mudita (sympathetic joy) and karunâ (compassion) has done wonder for all my relationships. Even while listening to the breaking reports about the terrorist attacks in Paris, all I could feel was compassion for both the victims and the attackers.

Spirituality

Had an interesting moment when I saw lots of tiny stars all around while sitting in the break room at work. My father-in-law said that is what chi looks like, but I’ve never experienced it indoors before.

Kūkae (BM)

11/7

7:30 AM Extra large BM (maybe biggest ever) BS

11 AM Med/Small BM

4:30 PM Small BM BS brown

6 PM BS

8 PM small BM BS

11/8

12 AM tiny BS

6:30 AM BS

9:10 AM Small BM BS

10 AM Tiny BS

12 PM Tiny BS

6:30 PM BS

8 PM BS Small BM

9 PM BS

11/9

1 AM BS

6:30 PM BS Small BM

8 AM Large BM BS

10 AM Large BM little B

1 PM Med BM BS

5 PM BS

6 PM BS

11/10

6:30 AM Blood and sediment with small BM

7:30 AM Large BM BS

9 AM Large BM

2:20 PM Blood

6:30 PM BS

7:30 PM Blood and Sediment.with small BM

11/11

Lost data card

11/12

6 AM BS Large BM

8:30 AM Watery small BM

6 PM BS

9:00 PM BS

11/13

7 AM Tiny BS Med/Lrg BM

8:40 AM BS brown

9:30 AM BS brown

4 PM BS

7 PM BS

11/14

8:40 AM Med BM

1 PM Med BM

6 PM small BM BS

8 PM BS

9:30 PM BS

11/15

6:30 AM BS Small BM

7:30 AM BS Small BM

5:20 PM BS

9:30 PM BS Small BM

11/16

6 AM tiny BS Med BM

8 AM Lrg BM

10:11 AM Med BM

12:45 PM Med/Lrg BM tiny B

2 PM Small BM

3:30 PM Small/Med BM

7 PM BS

10 PM BS

11 PM BS

11/17

1 AM BS

6:15 AM BS

7:15 AM BS Large BM

9:10 AM Small/Med BM Little BS

6:30 PM BS

7:30 PM BS

8:30 PM BS

10 PM BS

11/18

3:30 AM BS

6:30 AM Tiny BS Large BM

7 AM Large BM

8:30 AM Small BM

9 AM Sm/Med BM

9:40 AM Small BM

3:20 PM tiny tiny sediment

8 PM BS

9 PM BS

Cancer and Judgment

moon Kâloa Pau
‘Ikuwâ 6

To many patients, cancer feels like a death sentence. Receiving a death sentence implies that one has been judged. I experienced cancer as a judgment, especially considering I don’t meet any of the risk factors for the type of cancer I was diagnosed with.

If I had gotten skin cancer, that would make sense. I spent decades surfing in the sun, and I grew up before sunscreen was available. But colorectal cancer comes out of left field. I don’t smoke, drink, eat meat or fast food, and have relatively little stress. In addition, I have done numerous colon cleanses, cleansing fasts, and eaten oatmeal for breakfast for over 30 years.

When I explained this to my oncologist, he said, “Sometimes you just get unlucky.” In my experience, luck has very little to do with anything, so I started to see this dis-ease as a judgment. Why would the Universe, God, or my body send me cancer?

In order to answer this question, I had to become aware of how I judge others. I used to constantly judge anyone in my presence. I would judge their athletic ability, intelligence, integrity, looks, and value.

The best example I can give are the thoughts I think while driving. If someone is not turning right at a red light, I usually assume that they don’t know the laws; are too timid to drive in America; are waiting to cross three lanes when they should just turn into the right lane then merge left once they are out of my way; or are just complete idiots. I constantly judge other drivers based on how fast they are going, how long they wait at stop lights, what kind of car they are driving, or what race, gender, and class they look like they belong to.

I assume that Mercedes and BMW drivers are going to be selfish in all their driving choices. I silently accuse drivers with Asian trinkets hanging from their rear view mirrors of being dangerous and untrustworthy (even though I’m Asian). I usually view women drivers as inferior, especially older Asian women, even though my mom is a very good driver.

This is just while I’m cruising down the road. When I enter any social situation, I start judging everyone and everything incessantly. Even in spiritual circles, I tend to think, “That person is such a hypocrite” or “they think they are enlightened, but they have so much ego.”

Luckily, one of the prayers I say every morning is the St. Francis Prayer: “…Oh Divine Master grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console; to be understood, as to understand; to be loved, as to love. For it is in giving that we receive, pardoning that we are pardoned, and dying that we are born into eternal life.”

One morning, I understood that in order to pardon myself from this death sentence of cancer, I had to start pardoning others. I saw how the line “it is in giving that we receive” doesn’t just mean that we should give charitably, but also that we reap what we sow. If I constantly judge others negatively, then I, too, will be judged.

When I made a conscious effort to stop judging others, I felt my heart open. I had more compassion for those who were suffering so much that they felt the need to try to make me suffer. I also stopped judging myself for things I’ve done in the past or for judging others in the present.

When I dropped judgment, I lost the need to compare myself with others. I didn’t need to be more intelligent, more awakened, or more equanimous than others. Losing judgment helped me realize our connectedness. When I stopped trying to differentiate myself from others through judgment, I started to experience what Thich Nhat Hanh calls our fundamental “inter-being.”

At a recent fundraiser for Cancer Commons, I met a Maori man who told me “the only judgment we will experience is us judging ourselves on how we treated others.” If this is true, then this cancer diagnosis is me judging myself on how I treated others. The last few months have been a wake-up call to start treating others better.

The less I judge others and treat them with respect, the more I sense into the healing of my body, my relationships, and my spirit. From this perspective, what happens with the dis-ease in my intestinal track is of little consequence.

After a two hour intimate talk with my mother in which I released many judgments and resentments about her parenting decisions, she said to me, “I hope all this turns out well for you.”

“It already has, Mom,” I said with a smile.

Diet

Really enjoying my farmer’s market “organic” salads.I asked one of the farmers today at the market why she was not certified organic. She said that her husband uses compost to fertilize which is not certified organic. She also said that many organic farms use fertilizer and pesticide, but they are “organic” fertilizer and pesticide which often can be more toxic than non-organic. I also learned that farmers have to pay to fly the “organic” flag. She is a small farmer, so she refuses to pay.

Another farmer who has amazing walnuts said that the walnuts are organic since the only thing he does is water them, but he can’t call them organic because his grapes are not organic. A farm can’t be part organic and part non-organic.

I used to think that the organic stamp of approval was golden, but now I realize that “home grown” can often be more natural and healthy than certified organic. The lemons my mom grows are not organic, but I wouldn’t trade them for any lemon at Whole Foods.

Exercise

Did more barefoot hiking with my dear friend, Oliver. Amazing how the ground changes texture after a good rain. You would think that it would be softer, but it was actually really rocky since a lot of the dust and fine sediment was washed away. We did find some nice soft, cool damp spots though. Life is amazing in its variety and diversity when we open ourselves up to it.

Relationships

As you can see above, I’ve been trying to heal relationships with everyone by not judging so much. I’m experiencing so much more peace moment to moment.

Spirituality

It rained, so I did my prayers on an astroturf welcome mat on the balcony. Although it wasn’t as pure as in the park, it still felt good to feel the temperature and smell the rainy air. I realized that being outside is key, even if I am on the balcony.

Kūkae (BM)

11/2

6:30 AM small/medium BM

8 AM Small BM with no blood

9:15 AM Large BM

10:30 Large BM little blood

2 PM Medium BM little blood

9 PM sediment

11/3

1:30 AM Sediment

6:30 AM Blood and sediment. Small BM

7:28 AM Large BM tiny Blood and Sediment

9:45 AM Medium BM no blood

2:40 PM Tiny Sediment

10:00 PM Blood and Sediment.

11/4

5:30 PM Blood and sediment

7 AM Blood and sediment with medium BM

8:20 AM Medium BM Tiny Blood

9:30 AM Tiny Sediment

10:40 AM Small blood and sediment

2:30 PM Blood and sediment

9 PM Blood and sediment auburn

11/5

6:40 AM Blood and sediment with small BM

8:15 AM Medium BM w/blood and sediment

10:00 AM Small BM w/blood and sediment

3:30 PM Blood and sediment

5:30 PM Blood and sediment

6 PM Blood and Sediment.with small BM

11/6

2 AM Tiny Blood and Sediment.

7:30 AM Blood and Sediment.

8:10 AM Small BM w/Blood and sediment

9:15 AM Blood and sediment–Brown

2 PM Blood and sediment

8:00 PM Large amount of blood and sediment

Aloha Healing 11/1/2015

moon_day_WanG_65 ‘Ole Kû Kahi
‘Ikuwâ 1

I’ve added two new treatments to my protocol. I’m taking hemp seeds and cannabis oil, as well as incorporating Frankincense Oil. I eat the hemp seed and cannabis oil, while I put the Frankincense on my skin with a new lotion I made out of coconut oil, vitamin E, and Frankincense.

A friend asked me how I will know what treatment cured the cancer since I am doing so many. This got me thinking. I’m not really focused on curing anything. To use a common analogy, cancer is like a “check engine” warning light in a car. You don’t try to disconnect the light to fix the problem; instead you do a systemic overhaul.

Dr. Arun Sharma [whose services were gifted to me by two incredible friends whom I have never met, Nisha and Ragu] guided me towards this path when I first got diagnosed:  “Our approach is to improve your overall health to such an extent that no dis-ease remains there. Disease is just a diminution of health and it vanishes as you improve health. So all therapies which are oriented with a consideration of fighting cancer or curing cancer are not taken in our system.”

From this perspective, cancer is a gift in the same way a functioning warning light is a gift. They both give you some advance notice to fix some deep lying issues that could cause a total breakdown.

Here are some of the gifts cancer has already given me:

  • Getting in touch with nature, ‘âina,aumakua, kûpuna, and my body.
  • Juicing raw vegetables every morning with a juicer gifted to me by a dear friend, Mitch McCoy
  • coconut water gifted to me by the thoughtful Mehta family
  • mangosteen juice gifted to me by Auntie Sandy Wong
  • moringa oleifera gifted to me by my dear friend, Oliver Bock
  • Protandim
  • Kangen Water gifted to me by my loving cousin in Hawaii, Marie Imanaka
  • Taking all the chemicals out of my life–water, processed foods, shampoo, toothpaste, lotion, soap, cell phones
  • Taking all the refined sugar out of my diet–I knew this was something I needed to do, but I never thought I could do it. Within 2 weeks of the diagnosis, I was sugar-free. “Free at last, free at last…”
  • Motivation to do morning prayers and movements on a regular basis.+ All the sunrises I have witnessed doing my prayers
  • Powerful experiences in gift ecology. Watching all the different forms of capital manifest whenever and wherever I need them.
  • The invitation to just love everything and everyone gifted by being in the presence of Jayeshbhai Patel
  • Healing deep scars with my parents, my ancestors, my family, and myself.
  • Embodying the first chakra, na’au, perineum, and ‘ôkole.
  • Learning to live “faith and patience” on a daily basis
  • Realizing the importance of ‘olu’olu (gentleness) with myself, my body, my sons, my loved ones, difficult others, and complete strangers.
  • Barefoot hiking and all the lessons the land is teaching me from the feet up.

The amazing thing about all these gifts is that I will continue to practice/receive them regardless what the dis-ease does. A malignant tumor has gifted me a change of lifestyle, diet, perspective, and heart. I can honestly say that I am filled with gratitude for everything that cancer has given me.

Diet

Ate a lot of Chipotle salads lately since it was Halloween and I had to get food a number of times on the run. Otherwise, I’m really enjoying my raw foods diet.

Exercise

Went surfing with my cousins, Mitch and Mathew. I had one of the best sessions I’ve had in years. On one long wave, I felt like I was surfing as well as I did in the late 90s. What followed was a flood of thoughts around my identity as a surfer:

“I could be one of the best surfers out here if I started going on a regular basis.”

“That guy thinks he’s good, but he doesn’t know how to use his inside rail.”

surfing with MitchWhen we got back to the car, we started talking to the father and son parked next to us. The father proceeded to go off on how he’d been surfing since the early 80s. He went on and on about board design and how he surfed the same board in 2 feet to 15 feet waves. At one point, he said, “You guys should check out a surf spot called 26th Avenue. It’s a great spot for you.”

Part of me wanted to tell him that I’d been surfing 26th Ave. since 1981, but I stayed quiet.

When we drove off, my cousin said, “He was a nice guy.” Although part of me wanted to question why he felt the need to assume a position of expertise when he clearly wasn’t  a very good surfer, I had to agree with Mitch–he was a nice guy.

Right before I met my cousins to drive over the hill to the beach, I had been listening to an Adyashanti cd where he talks about how he had been attached to his identity as a world-class cyclist. At one point, he got a 6 month debilitating illness that left him “weak as a puppy.” He felt relieved that he didn’t have to maintain the strenuous identity of a cyclist, but when he started getting his health back, he found himself “training” again, as if he were heading to the Olympics.

Life then sent Adyashanti another debilitating disease. I took this as a sign and started to give up all my attachments to my identity as a surfer. When I think about it, what lies at the core of needing to be seen as a good surfer or a world-class cyclist  is a forgetting of who we really are.

When I step into lôkahi (unity/unbrokenness), I don’t need to be anyone special or prove myself to others because we are all one. We are all the sinner and the saint. We are the Buddha and the CEO. Or as Jayeshbhai puts it, “I want to see everyone as myself. I want to see myself in everyone.”

Relationships

Had a great weekend with the boys. We are learning to accommodate each other on our needs. I felt like I was able to take care of what I needed to do while also allowing them to get their needs met. They even helped do chores around the house before I took them to Bass Pro Shops (my older son loves fishing) and the movies.

Spirituality

Did my prayers before I jumped in the ocean to go surfing. I also asked the ocean permission to enter and waited for a sign. A wave slammed the breakwall. It didn’t get me wet, but saltwater caressed my feet and pulled me toward the ocean. I took this as a sign and ran out as the sea receded. I then proceeded to catch three nice waves one right after another.

Everyday I experience the importance of including nature in my prayers and practices. Doing my prayers barefoot in the park is getting more challenging with the colder/wet weather, but I can’t imagine saying my prayers in the house anymore. We’ll see what happens when the El Nino storms start rolling in.

Kūkae (BM)

10/27

7:00 AM Sediment no blood

7:29 AM Small BM with blood and sediment

10/28

12:30 AM Blood and lots of sediment.

6:40 AM Blood and sediment. Small BM

7:28 AM Medium/Large BM little or no blood

8:30 AM Medium/Large BM no blood

6:30 PM Sediment

10:40 PM Blood and Sediment.brown in color

10/29

11:30 PM Blood and sediment

6:15 AM Blood and sediment with small BM

7:15 AM Blood and sediment with medium BM

1:30 PM Sediment Auburn in color

3:30 PM Small BM with blood and sediment

6 PM Small BM with blood and sediment

9 PM Blood and sediment auburn

10/30

6:30 AM Blood and sediment with dark small BM

8:40 AM Sediment and small BM

10:40 AM Tiny sediment auburn

7:40 PM Sediment with small BM

8:30 PM Blood and Sediment.with small BM

10/31

6:10 AM Blood and Sediment.

7:00 AM Blood and Sediment.with medium BM

5:30 PM Blood and sediment

8:20 PM Huge BM with blood and sediment

11/1

1:11 AM Large BM

6:30 AM Sediment auburn

9:30 AM small BM

3:30 PM Blood and sediment auburn

5 PM Blood and sediment

6 PM Blood and sediment

6:30 PM Blood and sediment

7:40 PM Blood and sediment