Aloha Healing 9/28/2015

full moonKulu
Māhoe Hope 28

Spent the day on the East Bay today. So many intersections. Here are a few highlights:

Motherly Love

First, I met with Sandy, a friend from Hawaii. A month ago, when Sandy heard about my diagnosis, she gifted me with $100 of Mangosteen juice. Today, I picked up a new supply from her.

We started talking about mothers and she shared a powerful story. One of her friends was a devoted mother. She did everything for her kids who are now in their twenties. In the last week, all three of her kids told her in their own way that she was not a good mother. She was shocked.

She told Sandy that she had not been loved as a child, so she made sure that her children knew that they were loved. Sandy observed that the love that she was giving to her children was the love that she never got. She was not loving her children how they wanted/needed to be loved, but instead how she wanted to be loved.

Equanimity

For lunch, I met with ServiceSpace friends at Cafe Gratitude. We were talking about 10 day meditation retreats, fears around money, and one of our dear friends who has Aplastic Anemia. One of the volunteers summed up the whole conversation with an insight about equanimity. She said that it is not about reaching a destination whether that be financial security, enlightenment, or a clean bill of health. Meditation helps us embrace whatever arises with equanimity. It’s not about changing outcomes; it is about changing our present moment reactions.

Moms Again

After lunch, I headed to my mom’s house. She and my step-father were busy planning a trip, so for the first half-hour I just sat on the couch while they ironed out the details. I wanted to talk to my mom alone, but she seemed to want to talk in front of my step-father. I asked her a few questions about when she was pregnant with me. She mentioned one story about my father that revealed a scarcity mentality. My mom said that one of the soldiers my father was in charge of had an expecting wife, but wanted to buy a set of encyclopedias. My father felt the need to explain to this soldier that he needed to save his money for diapers, baby food, etc.

While in Hawaii, my uncle told me that one thing my father told him before he died was that he was satisfied that he had provided enough financially for his sons in the event of his dying.

My father seemed really concerned with financial security. Interesting how this concern gets transferred onto me, especially now when I’m dealing with medical bills and a lack of a steady income.

I only got to talk to my mom for about 20 minutes, but I was grateful for that and left for dinner at my friend’s house.

Backing Into the Future

My friend Michael made some fresh organic vegetable juice, guacamole with cucumber slices, and baked brussels sprouts chips for dinner. After we chowed, he offered me a healing session with modern Tarot cards. He asked me to pick three cards: one each for the past, present, and future.

tarot cards

For the past I drew “Transformation,” which in the classic tarot card deck is the Death card. It talked about rebirth.

The present card was “Solitude” that stressed the need to spend time alone in meditation, prayer, and solace.

The future card was “Heartbreak and Loss” that emphasized the need to go through the darkest aspects of life to find the Light.

Michael read into these cards what I had been sensing for months now. First, my egoic mind would like these cards in the reverse order. In my mind, I have already been through heartbreak and loss with the loss of my career, broken relationships, and the diagnosis. In the present, I spend time in meditation and prayer which leads to a future full of transformation. What a great story!

The reverse order, however, paints a different picture. The future holds more shadow that I need to be aware of. Michael emphasized that the cancer was a very small part of my spiritual development. I had the idea that if I made peace in all my relationships that this cancer would cure itself. I was in a rush to heal all these relationships to try to get rid of the cancer as soon as possible.

I even had the thought that if I healed the cancer, I would be a well-known and sought after Jedi Master: “The circuit is now complete. Now I am the master.”

These cards humble me and make me realize that I have more cleaning/clearing to do. The solitude card reminds me to go slowly and take care of myself. The heartbreak & loss card keeps me looking for shadow and blind spots.

Like Michael says, without an agenda the true path becomes clear. I’ve been so focused on my agenda to heal the cancer that I’ve lost sight of the present moment. I’m like Sandy’s friend who raised her children with the agenda of healing her childhood. If I drop my agenda of getting rid of the tumor or becoming enlightened, then true guidance and spiritual growth will come. It all comes back to equanimity and being in agreement/alignment with whatever the present moment offers–not wishing ANYTHING to be different.

Diet

Great meal at Cafe Gratitude followed by nourishing juice made with love by Michael.

Exercise

Did morning prayers and exercises, although a shortened version, since I had an early appointment.

Relationships

What a day of relationships. Spent time with wise elders, ServiceSpace volunteers, my mother and step-father, and Michael Brabant–a powerful healer.

Spirituality

Learning to navigate with an agenda-less rudder.

Kūkae (BM)

I kept a log of kûkae today. I’m using this to monitor my health, not for blog readers. 🙂

7:30 AM blood followed by medium BM

8:30 AM Large BM with a little blood

11:00 AM Large BM with a little blood

7:00 PM lots of bloody sediment, although not a lot of blood

8:50 PM small sediment with very little blood

Every few days, I seem to clear out a lot of my colon in one day, followed by days with small BMs.

Aloha Healing 9/27/2015

full moonMāhealani
Māhoe Hope 27

Today is the blood moon eclipse and the closest the moon gets to earth for another 30 years. I felt heavy like gravity today. Not much lightness and a lot of bleeding. I’m interested to see what tomorrow brings.

Diet

Raw foods and oatmeal. Then for dinner succumbed to Chipotle salad. The manager said that everything I was getting was vegan. Did two rounds of juice and drank ginger/honey tea. I also started cod liver oil again after preparing a urine sample for testing.

Exercise

Woke up early, but fatigued, to do urine test. Then went to park to do prayers and movements. Walked half way back from park doing qigong walk. All in all, it took over an hour to do morning exercises.

I noticed while doing a shaking exercise that it felt very similar to jumping on a trampoline yesterday. Ancient cultures seemed to sense into the need to simulate the lymph nodes and immune system with this bouncing movement. In our modern culture, we don’t dance or move as much. Even the hokey pokey would be powerful practice if performed everyday.

Relationships

Spent powerful time with Jett and Fox. Also, connected with my cousin, Scott. He has very different views about treatment, but he seemed to see my perspective without necessary agreeing with it. I’m noticing that I don’t have micro-arguments anymore. If someone disagrees, so be it. We are still in the same canoe.

Spirituality

Had some vivid dreams again this morning. Not sure what they mean, but they feel real. The word for dream in Hawaiian is moe’uhane which literally means “sleep spirit.” I’m sensing that my spirit is trying to tell me something, but not sure what it is. This dream had to do with the end of a retreat/summer camp. My son Jett was there. I was saying goodbye to other familiar ServiceSpace participants, feeling tenderly connected, yet sad. The Brazilian term, saudade–“the love that remains after someone is gone”–came to mind.

One of the core members of ServiceSpace has been dealing with Aplastic Anemia. I feel so connected with this friend since our diagnosis came within weeks of each other. He is also pushing off conventional treatment in favor of alternative medicine. I have a feeling that our healing is connected with each other and the ‘âina (the land/that which sustains us). Saying St. Francis prayer this morning, I got the distinct message that I am to love, console, heal others first. “It is in giving that we receive; in pardoning that we are pardoned; in dying that we are born into eternal life.”

Kūkae (BM)

I kept a log of kûkae today. I’m using this to monitor my health, not for blog readers. 🙂

6:30 AM blood and small BM

9 AM small BM w/little blood

11:55 AM med to small BM w/little blood

2 PM Just blood

5:15 PM Small bloody BM

Healing Cancer With Aloha

hawaiian sunset

How ancient Hawaiian wisdom can help heal a modern epidemic.

“No, No, No, you can’t refuse treatment; you have cancer,” the doctor was shaking his forefinger at me.

“I understand, but chemo, radiation, and surgery don’t feel right to me,” I explained.

The doctor shook his head and turned his palms toward the ceiling.

What this doctor didn’t understand is that I have always believed that there are many paths to healing. Refusing conventional Western medicine is not a death sentence in my eyes. In fact, it is one of the most healing things I can do for my body and my family.

I see this dis-ease as a message from my ancestors that I have some cleaning to do. What follows is my five prong approach to healing cancer with Hawaiian spirituality.

1. Wai

Wai means water in Hawaiian. Wai is sacred in Hawaii. Traveling thousands of miles across the Pacific ocean, Hawaiians knew that without water, survival was bleak. One of my friends told me about a colon cleanse that a Kahuna named Auntie Margret Machado used to host. The one thing my friend remembers is that “they had to drink choke (lots of) sea water.”

One theory about cancer claims that cancer grows due to dehydration, so I’m trying to flood my body with wai. I try to drink at least a gallon of spring water everyday. I also juice as much as possible, turning my meals into liquid.

2. Hâ

Hâ in Hawaiian means breath or more specifically “the breath of life.” Aloha means to be in the presence of “the breath of life” or the Divine. Using Aloha to heal from dis-ease involves breathing deeply into the Divine. I do a number of deep breathing practices from meditation to swimming.

Research shows that cancer is anaerobic and can’t survive in oxygen rich environments. Oxygenating one’s blood with deep breathing helps the body fight the cancer.

My friend’s father, who was an MD, was diagnosed with terminal cancer in the 1970s. Rather than do chemo and radiation, he chose to strap on a scuba tank and dive 20 feet under water off the coast of Hawaii. He would sit under the water for 20 minutes breathing the oxygen rich mixture. His cancer went into remission much to the amazement of the doctors at the time.

Unfortunately, I’m not a certified scuba diver, so I’m taking a supplement called Apex that uses nano-silver particles to oxygenate the blood.

3. Ho`oponopono

Most people who’ve heard of ho`oponopono are familiar with “Self-I-dentity” ho`oponopono popularized by Joe Vitale. Although I continue to clear my subconscious by repeating “I love you; thank you; thank you” over and over, I’m using a more traditional form of ho`oponopono to heal this dis-ease in my body.

In Hawaiian healing, they don’t just ask where it hurts and what you ate; they ask who you were with and what you said. In ancient times, a family would sit down and ho`oponopono a ma`i (sickness). facilitated by a kahuna (medicine man) or kupuna (elder). Unfortunately, there are not too many kahuna around, so I’m gathering my family members to have a healing session to clear any negative energy that might be lingering between us.

One of the greatest gifts of this diagnosis is that my family, who would never agree to sitting in a circle to talk about emotions, have consented to participate if it will help heal the tumor in my guts.

4. `Olu`Olu

I’ve always taken my body for granted. Actually, I’ve been pretty abusive to my body. When I used to surf, I would pull into waves that I knew I had no chance of making. It stroked my ego, but it thrashed my skin, limbs, and bones.

Even as a meditator, I would force myself to sit through excruciating pain in order to maintain the semblance of equanimity. This disease has made me realize that my body is my temple, so I’m taking care of it like it is a child. In Hawaiian, the term `olu`olu means to be gentle. If I am to heal this dis-ease, I need to be gentle with my na`au (guts) where the tumor is. I’ve cut all sugar, meat, bread, alcohol, and dairy from my diet. I nurture my intestines with fresh fruits and vegetables, freshly squeezed juices, and lots of water.

I also spend time each day rubbing my belly and telling it that I love it. My approach to the tumor is to kill it with kindness, not to poison it or cut it out. I feel that if I can heal in this manner, then I am getting to the source of the dis-ease and not just curing the symptoms.

5.`Âina

During meditation, I realized that my body is simply reflecting the state of the `âina (land). If you think about it, our planet has colorectal cancer–there is too much unprocessed waste that is poisoning the whole. A Chinese medicine doctor told me that this condition I’ve been diagnosed with comes from too much heat in the body. The earth also has too much heat that we call global warming.

The Hawaii state motto is “Ua mau ke ea o ka `aina i ka pono,” which translates to “the life of the land is perpetuated in righteousness.” I see this dis-ease as a challenge for me to be pono (righteous) in order to save the land and my body.

Pono doesn’t really have the religious connotations of righteousness. I translate pono as being in alignment with the Divine. Lately, I’ve been actively trying to get in line with nature. I walk barefoot on the ‘âina, hug trees, swim in the ocean, and try to get as much sunshine without wearing sunscreen as possible.

I don’t know what all these practices will do to the tumor inside of me, but I do know that they have already brought me in alignment with my ancestors, my family, my friends, my sons, and the Divine. In a way, this diagnosis has been the greatest gift I have ever received.

Photo: flickr.com/brian talbot

Guest Post: RARASAUR!!!!!!

Got a letter from Rara today asking me to publish this post because Grayson has had trouble getting internet access. Feel free to re-blog or send to anyone who knows Rara and her plight.

I skyped with a dinosaur!

How I’ve missed this icon on the blogosphere

The Space Between

There’s a cold science to the warm observance of art. Fancy galleries and museums all over the world apply careful calculations to the placement of viewing-benches and lights. It is a detailed symphony of diagonals and distance, measured to accompany the artistry and elevate the experience of beauty. At a certain angle, from a certain number of steps away, even your favorite masterpiece could look unappealing, or downright ugly, or worse–simply quiet. Can you even fathom the travesty of such a fate? To have something silenced by the space between when it could have spoken to you and shared its ageless secrets with the very insides of your soul? Such is the power of distance.

explodingdog.com

explodingdog.com

Anything can look gross from up close, but if you look even closer, most things become wondrous once again. It is an issue of science and the computations required to discover the perfect perspective.

For someone like me, life is as much about the observations as it is about the experiences. (It’s not that I don’t have a little adventurer in my heart–it’s that I have a giant scientist sitting on top of her.) I am constantly calibrating my perspective–growing and shrinking the space between myself and my observations with a dexterity evolved from life-long practice. The decision to look closer or step farther is a crafted science I learned from my father, but the act of doing so is an art I picked up from my mom. I continue to study the science, and act the art into existence. The goal is not to change reality, hide from truth, or eradicate the acknowledgement of all the world’s bad–but to shift a paradigm and to remember that everything under the sun has a place and purpose.

Rara quote

How it affects us on the outside is often unavoidable, but we can control how it speaks to our insides. We can translate it–changing what is whispered into a language that creates our best selves, and a landscape of our best possibility. Language is our legacy, after all–and, much like perspective, is a melody of science and art.

Today, the sun set over me. Her rays warmed the air and her shimmering power stilled the clouds. Fragments of orange and silky webs of red-purple shot around in all directions, kissing the ground with pink light. The sun herself glorified in the show–radiating inward as much as outward–reveling in her great celestial roundness and yawning into her cosmic nap.

Below her, on the dusty plateau around me, a baby jackrabbit chased a pale green apple, paying no mind to the schedules of stars. He tried to capture the fruit, but its size was too great for such small eager hands and it would simply roll away. The little rabbit didn’t seem to mind the chase–the treasured green prize was more than worth a weary hunt. A hundred feet above his tall ears and grand adventures, a bird flew in circles, stretching her wings and enjoying this brief moment of time where her wingspan was larger than the sun. She sang loudly, and her whistled song was about her freedom from everyone and her ownership of all the world. No one contested her tune or argued her claim, because no one could. Hers is a freedom that lives in her heart and an ownership of possibility that lives in her mind–and she is the only one who has power or providence there, in her insides, where the truth of her lives.

I mimicked her whistle and she approved–acknowledging my heart’s freedom with a proud slant of her head. I nodded back and caught another glimpse of the little rabbit. He was focused on apples and even less interested in whistled freedoms than in the mapping patterns of magnificent stars. I let myself absorb the secrets of the Sleeper, the Hunter, and the Singer. It required no shift of diagonal or distance because beauty such as theirs needs no elevation. Anyone who looks or listens will experience full measure of their truths–the sun’s faith in the sanctity of cycles, the rabbit’s dedication to the purity of the present moment, and the bird’s reminder that every soul is as free as it believes itself to be. I filled my mind with their wisdoms and carried the inspiration with me–down the pathway, past the guards, through the gates, and into my prison cell…

where I continued to whistle the song of my freedom.

Such is the power of perspective and beauty.

Love,

Rara

animation of sun

Peace Challenge: Taking Action

B4Peace

 

Many of you have been Blogging for Peace with me for over a year and a half now. I have no doubts that our posts have had an effect on countless individuals in ways we may know or never know. I thank you for all you have done for peace.

Now, I’m going to ask you to take a step further. I am inviting you to take action.

Boys with T-shirt

As some of you may know, I’m launching a new website called RaisingCompassionateBoys.com. This is my effort to bring peace back to our schools where violence, bullying, and viral humiliations have run rampant.

So here is my challenge:

  1. Watch the videos on RaisingCompassionateBoys.com about how to cultivate compassion in boys and ourselves.
  2. Find a boy or group of boys to raise, mentor, befriend, coach, or teach. Some of you may have sons. Others might be youth leaders, coaches, counselors, aunts and uncles, neighbors, or teachers who interact with boys on a regular basis.
  3. Practice cultivating compassion in this boy or these boys on a daily basis.
  4. Role Model compassion for any boys in your presence.

I have no doubts that if a critical mass of adults take on this challenge of raising compassionate boys, we can change not only our schools, but also our society, the world, and the future.

Click here to receive the free videos on raising compassionate boys.

I hope you and your friends and followers will join me on this challenge in whatever form you deem feasible.

With Gratitude,

Kozo Hattori

Change Yourself. Change the World.

Many of you know that a lot of my blog posts this past year were inspired by the year-long training I completed at Interchange Counseling Institute. Although I am a professional counselor, I would like to encourage “anyone with a face” to enroll in this program.

In essence we are all counselors. If you have a friend, a lover, a family, or co-workers, then you are often in the role of a counselor.

interchange

image by Don Courage

Last year I took a day-long introductory class at Interchange and a spunky Asian woman who had completed the year-long program told me, “Kozo, I’m not a counselor, but Interchange is the best thing I have ever done for my life. My whole life is better because of Interchange.”

I signed up immediately, and after finishing the program, I have to agree. The wisdom, healing, growth, and experience gained at Interchange have and will significantly change every interaction I have with others for the rest of my life.

Here are my top five reasons to sign up for Interchange Counseling Institute Now:

 

 

1)     Learn to love

Have you ever been taught to love? Most of us have had to figure it out the hard way. Many of us still struggle to love and receive love in our lives. This is something that we are never taught in school, work, or the family—at least, not explicitly.

Interchange explicitly teaches you how to love:

  • How to love your loved ones
  • How to love yourself
  • How to love others, even strangers
  • How to receive love and know when you have received it
  • How to express love beyond the socially conditioned roles we are trapped in

In my opinion, everyone needs to take a course on love. Some get it at church, others through couple’s counseling, but only Interchange covers all aspects of love and how to do it.

2)     You will see magic before your very eyes

The leader of Interchange is a man named Steve Bearman. He is a teacher, healer, wise man, and shaman. I know this sounds odd, but Steve works magic. Every Interchange weekend, he calls people up on stage and within minutes they are sobbing, healing, or exposing themselves.

This would be almost cultish, except then Steve teaches everyone in the audience how to do what he just did. We then pair up and make deep connections that heal painful wounds and open us to a whole new world of love and acceptance.

People think magic only happens in special places with magical people, but magic can happen every day with anyone you come in contact with. You can offer someone a safe space to be themselves by your smile and lack of judgment. You can change the life of your child or your parent with a consistent dose of hugs.

Interchange will make you not only believe in magic, but learn to wield it.

 

3)     You might never get the chance to do this in the future

There is a story about an old sadhu who met the Buddha in a marketplace. “Teach me,” said the old sadhu.

“This is not the time or place. Come to my dwelling later in the afternoon, and I will teach you,” replied the Buddha.

“No. Teach me now. What if I die before this afternoon? What if you die? What if the confidence I have in you right now disappears? Teach me now,” insisted the old man.

The Buddha sat him by the side of the road and within minutes the old sadhu became enlightened.

I’m not saying that Steve Bearman is the Buddha, but he is an amazing teacher. This might be the last year he decides to do Interchange. Or he might get so big that you might have to do Interchange online in the future.

I met a woman who hugged the guru Amma 21 years ago in a small room in Palo Alto with just 70 other people. Last month, I “donated” my chance to hug Amma because 2000 people had come to see her at Stanford University.

Right now, you have the chance to spend some quality time with Steve Bearman at Interchange. In the past few years, Interchange has grown, mainly by word of mouth, from 20 people to 150. Who knows what it will be like in the future.

Steve got to know all 150 of us this year. We had opportunities to counsel with him, hug him, dance with him, and cry with him. I’m not sure if this will be possible in the future.

4)     World Peace

The motto of Interchange is “Change Yourself. Change the World.” I couldn’t agree more. You know that I am a strong advocate for peace. Bloggers for Peace is my attempt to bring world peace into reality.

I can honestly say that I am a more peaceful person after Interchange. I spread more peace. I live more peacefully. Something about the teaching, community, and support one gets at Interchange transforms us into agents of peace.

As many bloggers for peace have attested, if we really want world peace, we have to create peace in ourselves. Interchange cultivates that inner peace.

5)     Free stuff

Books: When you sign up for Interchange, you get a lot of bang for your buck. On the first weekend, you will be handed a bag full of books that will change your life.

Some of the books you may have never heard of, like Radical Honesty, Unconditional Parenting, or Riding the Horse Backward. Other authors might be more familiar like Krishnamurti, Marshall Rosenberg, or Martin Seligman. Either way, these books will change who you are and how you think.

Counseling: You will also be required to do 50 hours of either counseling or clienting. This is powerful. Going rates for psychotherapy are $125-$175/hour. I have to say that the counseling I received at Interchange had much deeper, long lasting effects than any other counseling I’ve had in the past. You might also be chosen to be counseled by Steve on stage which is priceless.

Touch: At every Interchange weekend, you will be encouraged and gifted with free massages, hugs, hand holding, or cuddling. Some of you may be resistant to this, which is exactly why you need to go.

Humans are social animals who need nurturing touch. Our society prohibits much of this touch due to fear of inappropriate touch, homosexuality, and neediness. Thus, in our touch deprived society, many of us don’t get to be fully human.

Interchange will help you get in contact with all aspects of your humanity and feel good about doing it.

Obviously, I’m one satisfied customer, but I’m more than that. I’m an advocate of change and peace. I truly believe that Interchange will transform you and our world in positive ways. Sign up now.

In full disclosure, if you sign up for the Interchange Year-long Program and mention my name, I will receive a finder’s fee. If you feel uncomfortable about this, don’t mention my name, but by all means, SIGN UP NOW.

EMERGENCY Peace Challenge: Help Rarasaur!

I skyped with a dinosaur!

Rara Spreading Love like Fire

Those of you who know Rarasaur know in your heart of hearts how loving, generous, and inspiring she is. Bloggers for Peace would be a figment of my imagination without Rarasaur who designed both the logo and the Peacecat t-shirt for free.

Rarasaur Peace Cat

Recently, I’ve realized that at every moment, we have the choice to serve ourselves or serve others. Rarasaur spends a majority of her time serving others.

For those of you who don’t know, Rarasaur was falsely charged with a crime she did not commit. With no resources to defend herself, Rarasaur has become a pawn in the criminal justice system.

I am asking you to reach into your hearts and give to help one of the greatest peacemakers in the blogosphere. If you have ever visited Rarasaur.wordpress.com, please donate to her freedom fund by clicking here: http://rarasaur.wordpress.com/2014/05/06/i-didnt-go-to-jail-today-and-other-notes/

bannerI’m also asking all Bloggers for Peace who know Rarasaur to publish a post devoted to Rarasaur that links to this donation page.

We often are unable to see the ramifications of much of the work we do for peace. In this case, every post you publish and every cent you donate has measurable and concrete effects on the peace in the world. Please help Rara now.

May you all find peace and joy. May you be free from suffering. {{{Hugs}}} Kozo Hattori