Are Men “Naturally” Bad Caregivers?

I’m a horrible father.

The thought kept ping-ponging in my mind after shoving my bawling 5 year old son into his kindergarten class.

This morning he decided that he wanted to ride his scooter to school rather than his bike. I told him that the bike was quicker, but he started whining, so I let him take the scooter. 18 minutes into trek, he starts whining again, “Daddy, I’m tired. I want to stop.”

We are 10 minutes away from the school which starts in 8 minutes.

scooter

Happier times before scooters became an instrument of torture.

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I QUIT…trying to go viral

I quit sticky note on keyboardTo be honest, I started blogging 6 months ago because I wanted to go viral. One of the first blogs I read was by Tim Ferriss, author of The 4-hour Work Week. I had no idea what blogging was. But I knew authors needed a social media “platform” that they could “monetize.”

Every time an article came up on my twitter feed about increasing readership, I stopped what I was doing and clicked on it. I learned about catchy headlines, search engine optimization, the Art of Being Interesting, and optimal times to post for new hits. I spent almost as much time reading about getting hits than I did writing or researching the books I wanted to write.

I saw going viral as the golden ticket. All my worries would be over if I could just get one of my articles read by millions of fans. I envisioned book contracts, TEDTalks, and interviews with Oprah. Continue reading

Say Cheese for Forgiveness

I’m about ready to strangle my 5 year old son. EVERY morning he throws the same tantrum: “I don’t want to get dressed. I’m too tired to brush my teeth. I don’t want to go to school…” I’ve been practicing Flash Forgiveness, but as soon as I forgive, he throws something else in my face, usually the same crap he threw the day before.

Mark Turner / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-SA

I feel like I’m wasting all my flashes of forgiveness on him. Kind of like those old flash cubes that we used to place on Kodak cameras. So I’ve come up with a new form of Flash Forgiveness. Continue reading

Flash Forgiveness

Road Rage*

Road Rage* (Photo credit: PDXdj)

Has this every happened to you? Someone cuts you off on the road and almost causes an accident. You get so outraged, you drive up next to this idiot and try to give them the “stink eye,” but they ignore you. You are so upset that you don’t see the car in front of you and almost cause an accident because you weren’t watching the road.

It happens to me all the time. I get so indignant when someone puts my life and the lives of my sons in danger. And why shouldn’t I? They are in the wrong. I am just minding my own business, and some maniac swoops in front me like a bat out of hell. “How dare they? Don’t they know who I am?”

The irony is that I put my life and the lives of my sons’ in danger by trying to seek justice for this violation. The real question I should be asking myself is “who am I to get so upset about something I am often guilty of myself?” Continue reading

The Invisible War

A war is raging in every country on earth. The battles of this war spill out into our churches, our schools, and our homes. This war has been going on since the beginning of history as we know it. Although I was born onto the winning side and have enjoyed the spoils of this war, I have seen too much atrocity and injustice to sit idly on the sidelines. I can’t bear to watch my foes suffer death, defeat, mutilation, abuse, and injustice any longer. Like Braveheart, Dances with Wolves, and Luke Skywalker, I am ready to fight for the losing side to bring peace to our Universe–yet even these examples are tainted with the history written by the victors. Continue reading

Five Steps to Peaceful Resolution

“If in thirst you drink water from a cup, you see God in it. Those not in love with God only see their face in it.”–Rumi

In the past week, I’ve gotten into three arguments with three different people about faith, spirituality, and the law of attraction. All three of these people were close family members that I care about. In the arguments, my views were labeled as “insane,” “delusional,” and “desperate.” In my eyes, I lost all these arguments because I could not make the other person see what is so essential to my existence.

Since I’m practicing peace, I came up with five tips for conflict resolution: Continue reading

Love and Oppression

“Truth is on the side of the oppresed.”–Malcom X

I am an oppressor. I did not choose this position; it was given to me at birth. Ignorant of my privilege, I have abused this undeserved power throughout my life. Not until one of the oppressed loved and forgave me was I able to see the massive power structure that I inherited with my Y chromosome.

On this Valentine’s Day while a billion people are dancing to end violence against women, I want to call out to all other male oppressors to lay down their weapons and commence dismantling this Patriarchy the empowers us. The dismantling will not be easy because the system is entrenched in everything we know. Continue reading

A Word, A Word, My Kingdom for a Word

stockicide / Foter.com / CC BY

When you are alone,
watch your mind.

When you are with others,
watch your mouth.

–Tibetan saying from Lambre: Dawn of Enlightenment by Lama Choedak Yuthok

One of the few childhood sayings that is completely erroneous is “Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.” I’ve learned the hard way that words can cut deeper than samurai swords.

Marshall Hattori Vader photoI’ve always wanted to be a Jedi Knight so I could use the force to fight people without touching them. Little did I know, I’ve already got that power and I’ve gone to the Dark Side. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been able to make people cry just using words. Continue reading

A Split Second to Peace

match strikeIt happens in an instant–love and acceptance snap to anger and unrest. I’ve seen/felt it a hundred times each day on battlefields, street corners, at dinner tables, but, most importantly, in my own mind. This is where peace starts and ends, and we have the power to choose. Continue reading

Surrender to Peace

Watermelon Catapult GIF

“The greatness of a man’s power is the measure of his surrender.”–William Booth

As an American, surrendering is never an option. I was raised with mottos like “give me liberty or give me death”; “remember the Alamo”; or “I’d rather die on my feet, than live on my knees.” We have been taught to “never give up.”

The image above comes from the reality television show, The Great Race. What is most remarkable is not that this contestant survived the accident, but that her partner urged her to keep trying after she wiped the blood off her face, so they could win the race.

Maybe Americans have it wrong. Maybe surrender should be our first option. Continue reading