Māhoe Hope 22
I appreciate all the love and comments I have been getting on this blog. I agree that I really need to delve into my relationship with my mother. I will write about this after I have a heart to heart with her–I promise.
I had a day that had little to no conflict in it. We are taking our sons out of a Chinese Language Immersion school and putting them into a normal elementary school. Jett was crying that he doesn’t want to leave his friends. I tried to be compassionate and let him feel his grief. We ended up getting to Beryl’s apartment late and she was not happy. I tried not to react and was able to drop the boys off without an argument.
It feels good to have an entire day without conflict. I’m even finding that I don’t get upset with drivers, litterbugs, and unscrupulous people. Someone stole Fox’s bike today, but I didn’t look down on the thief. I guess they needed the bike or the money more than we did.
Ate the veggie sushi and split pea soup leftovers today. For some reason, I had a lot of gas today. Not sure if it is the daikon or too much alkalinity in the body from all the alkaline water I have been drinking.
I realized today that besides Apex,Mangosteen, and psycho/spiritual practices, I’m not really doing any cancer treatments. Diet is not necessarily a cancer treatment. I need to start regularly applying powerful cancer treatments. I’m going to make an intention to start these treatments in the next week.
Again, I did early morning prayers and movements. I’m feeling more flexibility in my hips and hamstrings. My body is very skinny, but tone. I did my exercises, dropped the boys off at school, worked 5 hours, and still had some energy in the afternoon.
Like I said, not much conflict today. We’ll see how many days I can keep this up.
Been having some bizarre and vivid dreams lately. The funny thing is that my body doesn’t get involved. I used to have dreams about fighting or surfing, and my body would get all tense. I would even grind my teeth. The other night I had a dream about having to fight my high school friend to the death and I didn’t tense up at all. I ended up running away and jumping down a building into a prison, but I still didn’t get tense in the body.
Same thing goes for semi-erotic dreams. I have to say that my sex drive is really low. I don’t even wake up with morning wood. I’m not trying to be graphic, but I want to document any possible symptoms or reactions I’m having to this dis-ease and the treatments. Perhaps a low protein, sugarless diet is lowering my libido.
Just when i thought I was entering a pattern??? Today, I had a lot of bleeding and sediment throughout the day. I am aware that we are entering a new phase of the moon from ‘ole pau to huna. Not sure if that is a factor. Trying to be patient.
I also stopped taking the cod liver oil because I want to get a urine sample to do an assessment of my treatment and excess vitamin D messes with the test. I will get the sample on Thursday and get back on cod liver later that day.
Don’t those days when there’s no conflict feel so good?! Oh rather, I find the days when there is conflict suck! I’m reframing a lot lately with the question “What if this is what God wants?” referring to anything remotely physically or emotionally uncomfortable. It helps because since it’s what *is* then it must be what God wants by definition. It helps me surrender.
Love it, Alison. I ask, “how is this a blessing?” I’m starting to see that everything is a blessing if we stop judging with our egoic minds. Your comments are a daily blessing that I am grateful for.
How is this a blessing? – I like that too, because it always is one. Right now I have a fairly persistent pain down my left shin, and as soon as I asked the question the answer was there – it’s a blessing since it ‘forces’ me to be present and to surrender because anything else is more painful.