Màhoe Mua 6
Yesterday I had an amazing inner-child healing session with Leyna Brabant. We delved into the root of this dis-ease. A few powerful insights came up. Leyna keyed into my relationship with my biological father, Masaki Hattori. He went MIA in Vietnam when I was 3 years old. Even though he wasn’t there for most of my childhood, I still felt his presence.
I felt like I needed to strive to become a perfect man, American, warrior, or sportsman. Leyna compared it to a blueprint with sharply defined edges and corners that I was being forced to mold to. At one point during the healing session, Leyna said my inner-child stopped posing in a martial arts pose and crawled into the fetal position.
I understand my father’s desire to hone me into a perfect weapon against the injustices he had experience in the Internment Camps during World War II. At one point, I just asked my father, “Can you just love me the way I am?” I am at heart a peaceful, non-violent, loving child. Leyna said she saw him holding a small plant. He placed it in the ground tenderly, watered it, and moved out of the way for the sun to shine on it. I reflected that it felt good to get nurturing from my father rather than honing.
Images of Obi Wan Kenobi came up. Obi Wan never forced Luke to become a Jedi. He made the offer and Luke refused. It wasn’t until Luke’s uncle and aunt were slaughtered by stormtroopers that Luke agreed to learn the ways of the force. I have been looking for this type of avuncular guide/teacher/guru my entire life. I now realize that my Hawaiian grandfather, Keneze Kauhiaimakuakama Wood, was my Obi Wan.
Leyna also looked into my treatment options. She saw the image of a childhood maze in a book. The pencil goes through the maze, but the person going through the maze can only see just in front of the pencil. When a turn is required the person can see just enough to make the right decision. This reminds me of something Michael Lerner said, “Go only at the pace of guidance.” I will continue on this path until something else changes. Right now, I feel like this treatment plan is what my soul needs.
Leyna also said that my aura was open/exposed in the back. I’ve done a lot of work cultivating chi or mana, but I’ve never really thought about the backside. It makes sense that the dis-ease is in the rectum. It is a part of my aura that I continually neglect. I am going to start completing my aura, including the backside.
I am so grateful to Leyna who gifted me this 2 hour healing session. I feel blessed to be able to explore relationships with deceased family members. I really feel like I am honoring my ‘aumakua.
I’ve started eating an Indian healing food that consists of quinoa, lentils, peas, asafoetida, and other spices. Although I burned the first batch, it seems to give me more energy during the day.
Went surfing today at Ocean Beach with college friends, Jon Kitamura and Lance Harriman. Felt good to get wet then hang in the sunshine for a few hours.
Still ironing out the kinks with my wife. Today, she was upset that we spent the whole day at the beach (she is a New York City girl). She finally pulled over and said, “You drive home.” As we were switching seats, I grabbed her and gave her a hug. It doused the fire and reminded us that love is all we need.
In addition to doing some inner child work, just being in the ocean felt soulful. Surfing was a big part of my spiritual life for over 25 years, so it felt like going back to church after a long hiatus.
Lots of blood. Bright red. Not sure why I had the tapering off in the last few weeks then a new flow. Just accepting what my body needs to do to heal.