What is Really True?

This weekend at Interchange Counseling Institute, we were asked to bring in an unanswerable question–questions that seem to ask themselves over and over throughout our lives, that never seem to get a satisfactory answer.

“What do you never seem to be able to get (e.g. love, rest, a sense of purpose), though you put considerable energy into trying to get it? What always seems missing? What questions about how to be a person have caused you frustration over a long part of your life? What about yourself can you just not figure out? What challenges seem to pop up in every relationship you’re in, or across social interactions? What problems in a specific relationship won’t go away no matter how much you work on them?”–from Interchange Counseling Website.

We then wrote these questions on a piece of paper that we hung from our necks. Most people had questions like “Am I enough?”; “Am I loved?”; “Who am I?”; “How can I trust others?” “Do I exist?”

Maybe it was because I had done some deep re-parenting work at the last Interchange weekend, but my questions were more spiritual: “What does sex have to do with higher consciousness?” “What is consciousness?” In a small group, I workshopped my questions down to “What is really true?”

what is true sign

my tattered and tear-stained sign

After all 140 of us had our questions around our necks, we walked around the huge room and stood in front of each other silently, randomly. Our leader, Steve Bearman, informed us that our questions often pointed to interrupted development during our childhood. So we were to imagine each other as children and try to extend the love and resources others needed to heal.

For some reason, everyone who I stood in front of started crying. One woman who wore a sign that said, “Can I be trusted?” began to weep. I imagined her as a little girl wanting to be loved. “Oh, my sweet child, you can be trusted because I have nothing but love for you,” I thought. I opened my arms and hugged her softly as she sobbed.

Most of these people were complete strangers. I thought that they could psychically feel my thoughts and feelings that I had for them. It wasn’t until the exercise ended and my sweatshirt was full of watermarks from tears and runny noses that I realized what might have just happened.

When people had a question that had to do with being loved, being worthy, being enough, being deserving, they looked at my question, “What is really true?” and they felt deep inside themselves that they were loved, worthy, enough, and deserving.

When we really delve into what is true, we see and feel love.

So I ask you, my dear reader, what is your unanswerable question and what is really true?

Thank you for reading, smiling, and/or sharing.


23 comments on “What is Really True?

  1. more tears for your sweatshirt over here x

  2. The sages of India concluded that Man on his own is incapable of ever intellectualizing what is true thru logic because our human condition is such that we all suffer from for serious defects.
    1) Propensity to make mistakes
    2) Imperfect Senses
    3) Propensity to cheat
    4) Tendency to fall under the spell of illusions.
    So despite all the rhetoric which has become popular about finding the truth within yourself, the sages would say that is impossible. We must either be condemned to eternal ignorance which can never be overcome, or we must seek assistance from something outside of ourselves which does not suffer from these defects.
    For the sages of ancient India that outside source is the Vedic Literature, which have proven over time to be far more comprehensive, detailed and accurate then any other scriptures on the face of the earth.
    To get a taste of what can be found in those extraordinary books, check out this link:
    Best Wishes..
    mayesvara dasa

    • Kozo Hattori says:

      Wow, that is a great resource. Thank you so much for the link. I will spend time reading some of these sacred texts that call to me.
      I agree with the sages that we cannot intellectualize what is true, but I do believe that we can feel truth or know without knowing. I believe that we can connect with our true nature that allows us to experience truth. I’m playing with this idea in a new essay/book.
      I will get back to you after I delve into Vedic Literature. {{{Hugs}}} Kozo

  3. A good question that each one of us should ask ourselves. Very poignant
    and thought provoking. I know you’ll you find your truth.

  4. Indira says:

    I think everyone thrives for acceptance. To be accepted and loved is necessary in every relationship.

  5. my first thought was you are closer to self-actualization than some of the other’s participating in this workshop. maybe due to my stage of life/death i am not striving for the same thing so many are. i am content with life and love.

    my second thought is you intellectualize rather than experience on the emotional level.

    whatever the reason it seems like you gained from your experience and that is the point.

    • Kozo Hattori says:

      Hit the nail right on the head, Sandra. My whole journey has been an embodiment process of reconnecting with my emotions, feelings, sensations. The more I just experience without intellectualizing, the more I feel closer to love. Of course, old habits are stubborn.

      I love how you are content with life and love and am grateful that you share your wisdom with us. I just noticed you published a book. What a wonderful gift. {{{hugs}}} Kozo

      • i wouldn’t go so far as to call it a book:) it is a compilation of some of my posts put in to book form. i was actually fired by the editors when they realized i had no real drive to be a success. well that would be their definition of success.

        old habits do die hard and may spring back to life without notice. you should be proud that you are open to learning more about yourself and the things that hold you back.

        wishing you peace of heart

  6. KM Huber says:

    What a mirror you are, my friend, and what a gift that is to all who will look. In all those moments on that weekend what is was revealed, which seems to have left all of you a bit lighter in love. A truly beautiful post, Kozo.

    • Kozo Hattori says:

      Thanks, Karen. So glad you are back. I love the term “a bit lighter in love.” I feel like I am lightening the load everyday which leads to ascension. Like they say, the sky is the limit. {{{Hugs}}} Kozo
      p.s. reading a book by Norman Fischer called Training in Compassion. Have you heard of it? Similar to Pema, but different. haha

  7. “Who am I,” is my question that’s been waiting in line behind all the other questions: am I loved, accepted, enough…

    I’m beginning to reveal myself to myself, just in the very beginning of it, finally after all the other questions stilled themselves,sometimes just during one breath.

    That you’ve asked with a question to challenge what’s real, I answer, I am, I’ve been here all along.

    Thank you

    • Kozo Hattori says:

      LOVE that, Dorthy. Yes, I am that am I. I am real. I’ve been here all along. Sounds like you answered your question. I’m in a process of embodying that one breath you talked about. So grateful for your guidance, perspective, and wisdom. {{{hugs}}} Kozo

  8. diannegray says:

    If you asked me what is really true, Kozo I would say that truth is perspective of how we see the world. What may be a truth for you may not be a truth for me. Truth is a very tricky word to deal with because what I thought was true when I was six years old may not necessarily be the truth to me now and in ten years time I may find my current truths have changed. I’m separating the word truth from the word lies because lies are a only one facet of truth. Have I confused you yet?;) Sorry xxx

    My unanswerable question? I have many and it’s hard to choose one. I think the thing that grates on me the most and one I can’t answer her is, why do people hurt and kill others? I guess I’m taking the question out of the forum here because I’ve removed the word ‘I’ so this question isn’t about me. I did write an entire novel about this where I think I may have come close to finding the answer, but it’s never been published and probably never will be.

    Big {{{hugs}}} to you my dear friend 😀

    • Kozo Hattori says:

      haha, love the depth of your analysis of truth, Dianne. Of course, I would expect no less from a wordsmith as yourself. I would say that the truth that I am feeling is a truth that does not change. It is the truth in a genuine, tender hug. It is the truth we feel in our hearts when we say “ahhhh” in response to someone’s suffering.

      Your unanswerable question reveals your compassion and love for humanity. //bow// I honor that about you, as do so many others. We are all waiting for you to speak on this topic. In other words, we need that book. 🙂
      {{{hugs}}} kozo

  9. 1EarthUnited says:

    Awesome, seems like you got the answer to your question! The truth is all around you, being in that room sharing u’r love and compassion with others. In that very moment, truth! ♥

  10. Your sign, “what is really true” reminds me of a quote from Kahlil Gibran, “Say not, I have found the truth but rather, I have found a truth” is true simply being the light we are? I shall keep thinking about what you have expressed here. You have given me much to ponder, my friend. Thank you!!

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