Love, Reign O’er Me

Looking back at my childhood, I realize that it wasn’t the 10 years of physical abuse by my step-father that hurt the most; it was watching my mother stand idly by as I screamed for mercy. Don’t get me wrong, I love my mom. That was part of the problem.

Until recently, my whole life has been a desperate attempt to become loveable. As an Asian American growing up in the 80s, I loved this country. Yet my love was often rejected with angry chants of “go back to where you came from.”

In high school I was a Mod. When my girlfriend ran off with my best friend, I rode around on my Vespa scooter screaming the lyrics to “Love, Reign O’er Me” by The Who. I used to argue with “me Mum” in a false Cockney accent. She must have thought I was “daft.”

When I learned to drive, I became obsessed with surfing because it was the coolest sport I could find. I dated beautiful blonde sorority girls in college, not so much for their intrinsic beauty, but for the way they made me appear more American.

I wanted to be famous, American, loved. My whole life could be summed up in one corny song, “Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places.”

The sad part is that there were many who loved me along this path, but I scorched them out of fear that they would not protect me in my time of need.

After a huge life-changing event where my wife stood by me when anyone else would have left, I realized that not only am I loveable, but I am love. We are all love. We are all searching for a love that we already have. Life tricks us into believing that we are lack when in “reality” we are abundance.

My purpose now is to give love to others who are searching. To help them realize the love within. I do this with my words, my smiles, my {{{hugs}}}, and my forgiveness.

“Is there a place for the hopeless sinner who has hurt all mankind just to save his own beliefs? Onelove.”~Bob Marley

I once heard a story about an Australian mother whose daughter was kidnapped, molested, and murdered. On the day of the murderer’s sentencing, the media asked the mother what she thought this criminal should get. Of course, everyone was thinking the electric chair, life in prison, or torture. This mother said, “I think we should give him love, because only someone who was never loved could have done this to my daughter.”

I’m here to offer you love. I don’t care what you look like, where you come from, what you have done or not done. I want you to know that you are loved. We are all one. {{{Hugs}}} Kozo

Thank you for reading, sharing, and/or smiling.

Do you need a hug? Why? Please share.

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101 comments on “Love, Reign O’er Me

  1. rarasaur says:

    *hugs* I had an awful day at work, and now am stressed to go in tomorrow… Which is silly because I love my job and one bad day is an anomaly. But my post traumatic stress is keeping me awake. A hug and a message of love was just right for the moment. Thanks, Kozo. 🙂

    • Kozo says:

      I saw your “like” and was wondering what the hell you were doing up at this hour. I’m always here to give a {{{Hug}}} to you, my dear friend. The bad day is over. Here comes the sun. Shine on. Love, Kozo

    • Athena Brady says:

      Hi Rarasuar, I came back for the link to Kozo’s post and saw your message. I hope you are feeling better now and managed to get some sleep. I love your blog and you are a great ambassador for peace. Please remember you are not alone and are dearly loved {{{Hugs}}}

  2. jmgoyder says:

    Each and every one of your posts is like a hug. This really moved me and I send you hugs back +++++

    • Kozo says:

      I really believe that we can send love over the internet, Julie. Not just loving thoughts, but love itself. {{{hugs}}} to you, Ming, and Ants, Kozo

  3. Very deep, and refreshing, thank you! One Love!

    • Kozo says:

      Deep and refreshing is always nice. For years I was superficial and deprived. I guess today is a good day. Onelove Always. {{{{hugs}}} Kozo

  4. merbear74 says:

    Oh, I could totally use a hug. I could always use a hug. You can never get enough in my opinion. {{Hugs}}

  5. theINFP says:

    I feel sadness that you or anyone should suffer at the hands of another human. In situations like these love is all there is to help us get through. {{{HUGS}}} Robert

    • Kozo says:

      I feel worse that I made others suffer before I realized how to love myself, Robert. None of my old girlfriends will even talk to me anymore. I was on the verge of divorce until I discovered how I had a love/hate relationship with others. And yes, love did get me through. {{{hugs}}} kozo

  6. Thanks Kozo for your love

  7. PaulaB says:

    Its horrible that others suffer at the hands of another… how their hatred and violence sometimes permeates and ruminates and comes out as more of the same. BUT…than there are people like you….:) and thank God there are. {{{hugs}}} three-fold

    • Kozo says:

      Like I said to Robert above, Paula, I continued the cycle much too long before I realized what was going on. I really believe that compassion and empathy were beaten out of me when I was young. I lived as a compassionless selfish person from many years before I found love. I am so grateful to be here now with friends like you. {{{hugs}}} Kozo

  8. fgassette says:

    Sending you plenty of {{{HUGS}}} {{{HUGS}}} {{{HUGS}}}

    BE ENCOURAGED! BE BLESSED!

  9. Athena Brady says:

    Hi Kozo, I cried when I read your post, because I have been there and I know what that hole inside you feels like. Despite, what you have been through you are still such a compassionate and loving person. In my new novel “Broken” I exorcise my demons and reach out to others as you do every day and hopefully help with their healing. Let me tell you you are more loved than you realize and it is a blessing to have you as a friend. If you didn’t live so far away I would come and give you a real hug. {{{Hug}}}} xxx

    • Kozo says:

      One day we will exchange real hugs, Athena. I truly believe it. I can’t wait to read your new novel. I went to go purchase it, but I noticed that it was not out yet. Please let me know when I can buy it. I really feel just like you that I went through the things I did for a reason. I am grateful to be here now spreading the love, just like you. {{{hugs}}} Kozo

  10. Melanie says:

    {hugs} to you! I am happy you are realizing the love within and around you.
    I send my hugs to you and will take your hugs in return. Yesterday was rough. It seems I’m not the only one who struggled with it. This little corner of the world is a light in the darkest days. It is a place we can come to remember the love we all too often forget.

    • Kozo says:

      Melanie, I don’t know if you saw Rarasaur’s comment above, but we all had a tough day yesterday. Something cosmic, karmic, or mundane. Whatever it was, we survived. We are here to {{{hug}}} and shine light for each other. {{{hugs}}} Kozo

      • Melanie says:

        I did see Rarasaur’s comment (I try to read the comments before I comment so I don’t repeat something that’s already been said). Whatever it was that had us all in a funk (mine was the date on the calendar) today is a new day, we have survived, and we are here together hugging and supporting with all our might.

  11. I just want to give you a hug. Your post is a reminder to me to be kind to the strangers I coexist with ever day. Their struggles are just as real and encompassing as our own.

    • Kozo says:

      And I want to give you a hug, Jennifer. Isn’t that a wonderful exchange? Yes, even those we consider evil are only looking for love and freedom from suffering. I bow down to that mother in Australia I talked about. I can’t imagine how much empathy she must have to come to that realization. The Dalai Lama says the same thing about the Chinese who stole his country. Jesus said the same thing about loving our enemies. As hard as it is, I really think that is what we are here for. {{hugs}}} kozo

  12. CarolMaeWY says:

    You have given us the gift of your writing, your insight into a beautiful you. I hope everyone’s day is brighter because of you. Thank you for introducing me to a new song by the Who! I love it.
    What is the “honor of a WordPress? I wondered what the button is for. You are helping me understand a little of what my daughter-in-law might feel.
    It’s unfortunate you had to go through so much as a young person that you shouldn’t have. As Americans I want us to understand each other. It’s a mad, mad world out there. I want to be a part of making America a better place for all.

  13. Kozo, you ARE love. You always come through with just the right thing to say. I woke up this morning listening to a tune called ” Mad World” written by Gary Jules performed by Tears for Fears. The lyrics alone made me think about writing a post based on this. It is a mad world indeed but if more people like you looked at life out of the glasses you wear, the light would outshine the darkness bigtime. Shine on brother! {{{{{HUGS}}}}}}.

    • Kozo says:

      Tears for Fears were one of my favorite bands in high school, Kimberly. That whole album is about abuse. I used to listen to “Memories Fade but the Scars Still Linger” over and over in college. I even cried when Adam Lambert re-did Mad World on American Idol. I would love to read your post about this issue. {{{hugs}}} to you, my dear friend.

  14. Keep the hugs coming and back at you Kozo.

  15. I was actually feeling exceptionally sad and unloved this morning… I like that you said “we are all searching for a love that we already have.” That sounds right, and it gives me hope. Now I just have to let myself see it. Thanks for the post and hope your day is better than mine 🙂

    • Kozo says:

      Crystal, I’ve been there, trust me. My wife taught me to put my hands on my heart and comfort myself on days like that. If that doesn’t work, you can always come here for some {{{hugs}}}. It took me 46 years to realize this simple idea. You are light years ahead of me. Keep breathing and shining, my friend. {{{hugs}}} Kozo

  16. utesmile says:

    I love this post and I give you my love too, it is wonderfu to receive love and give love, the best ever emotion and needed by all of us, unfortunately not every one gets it. I see many children in school who crave love and a nice word or a quick hug makes them happy. With lots of love and many hugs to you from Ute x

    • Kozo says:

      Yes, Ute, we all need love, but children need it the most. I acted out in school and no one ever asked me what was really wrong. No one ever offered a hug rather than detention. I read an article where they were banning hugging in a public school in America. I can’t think of a worse thing to do for children. Love and {{{hugs}}} to you, my friend.

  17. Silverback says:

    Dearest Kozo. I now know how lucky I am to have come from a home where I was loved and hugged by parents and grandparents alike. This was ‘the norm’ for me, so I knew nothing else. I have done my best to pass on ‘love’ and ‘hugs’ to my children and grandchildren, (and to any other unfortunate human being who crosses my path!) I have a friend who was abused by her own father when she was young and her mother never stood up for her. This has left a life long feeling of hatred towards her father and a deep feeling of distrust of her mother. She is now fifty years old and still cannot bear to be touched!

    You, dear Kozo, are one of life’s gems. Despite your own trials and tribulations you spread light and love wherever your presence is fealt.

    I for one am proud to know you.

    Love and many {{{hugs}}} to you and all those close to you.

    Chris.

    • Kozo says:

      Dear Chris,
      I could sense the love you had for those around you right when I read your comments on Tracy’s blog. I think I was yearning for someone like you. I am so grateful that we have become friends. You are an example of who I can become–a loving father for my sons and those around me. If it wasn’t for people like you in my life, I don’t think I would have ever found my heart or my purpose. Like I told Tracy, we will all hug each other in the future, even if we are in a different realm. But for now, please feel the love in this {{{Hug}}}. Your Friend, Kozo

  18. goldfish says:

    Baby Kozo. Daaaw. 😉

  19. diannegray says:

    I really felt this when you mentioned singing “Love, Reign O’er Me” by The Who. When I was deeply hurt a few years back, the song “Find Me Somebody to Love” by Queen used to scream through my head and I found myself singing it all the time! 😉

    It’s really difficult to feel ‘accepted’ in a community when you feel like you’re very different than everybody else. I really believe that we’re given this life for a reason and even when painful things like your step-father’s abuse and non-acceptance by your peers happens it’s for a reason. I know this doesn’t help at the time, but sometime down the track it all begins to fall into place. The physical abuse by a parent is bad enough, but I’ve heard too many times that mothers will not intervene and this is something I feel very strongly about because the non-support for the child from the mother can feel like another (deeper) kind of abuse.

    You have a beautiful family and I want to hug them all! {{{hugs}}}

    • Kozo says:

      Like all good writers, you are a great reader, Dianne. Things have started to fall into place. I am grateful for the hardships in my past to bring me where I am today.
      It is funny. When I was composing this post, I sang the Who song at it had a whole different tone to it. It was a song of gratitude rather than need. My Queen song for today would be “We are the Champions.” {{{Hugs}}} to you and your new babies.

  20. KM Huber says:

    Whenever I don’t think I’m enough, I think of you, Kozo, for always, you inspire. What you really do is radiate love, and you let each one of us know that not only are we enough but we are loved by you, no matter how our day is been or what our life was. The fact is we have Kozo in our lives, now. Thank you for this beautiful post.

    Karen

    • Kozo says:

      I’m always here with a hug, Karen. I have learned the hard way that love is meant to be shared unconditionally. It brings me great joy reading your words and feeling the love we share. I am so grateful for all the powers that made our friendship “happen.” {{{hugs}}} kozo

  21. One of my co- workers randomly hugged me today and I really need that hug even though she didn’t realize it. Till I told her. Its those little things that really do mean the most.

    • Kozo says:

      Just the fact that she felt comfortable hugging you and could feel that you needed a hug speaks volumes on who your are, 1G4AW. We are all connected. We just need to re-member through hugging. {{{hugs}}} Kozo

      • Thank you, my friend. Wrong life choices keep me up at night and too much hurt keeps me from writing but I always come to your spot and read your writings and all the comments/replis and I’m lifted and I thank you for being a heart lifter & joy giver!

      • Kozo says:

        Trust me, 1G4AW, I know all about wrong life choices. I beat myself up a lot, but then I just remind myself that I can change right now. From this second forward, I can live a life that is full of love and compassion. Others may hold my past against me, but they will never be able to question my present. As time goes on, I will prove to all who care to look that I am a Phoenix rising from the ashes, a lotus thriving in the mire, a psychedelic mushroom growing in manure that will change the way we see the world. I’m not trying to be egotistical here, but I hope you can feel the same way I do. I still have a long way to go. I know there will be obstacles in my way, but I also know that love has not limitations. Feel free to email me if you ever need to talk. {{{Hugs}}} Kozo

      • I love what you have expressed here, I shall remember your words (I wrote them in my positive journal I keep) you are totally correct. Thank you + (((Mega Super Hugs)))

  22. Tracy says:

    I’ve been thinking about you Kozo. Since we first found each other in this wonderful blog land and a lot more recently although I haven’t been blogging or reading as much… that will change soon. Something in your writing hinted that life had dealt you some unkind blows and there’s nothing more unkind than the cruelty of abuse.
    I want you to know I do not care that you’re Asian American, that your skin may be a different colour to mine, that culturally we experienced different upbringings, that you sometimes have road rage whereas I don’t or that we might never get to meet in person. I don’t care about those things at all.
    I do care that you’ve been hurt. I wish I could take it away for you, create a different past where it didn’t happen. You know I cannot do that but I would if I could. Your writing inspires and gives insight to a man who is so much more than his blog can convey, there’s a clever mind and big heart inside this man for sure. I hope you know you are loved, respected and hugely valued by many people including me, your friend far away who wishes you and your family kindness, compassion and love for always. Sending you hugs, Tracy xoxox

    • Kozo says:

      Tracy,
      Although I know you shower love to all you meet, I truly appreciate this alone time with you. I know we will meet someday, although it might not be in our present forms. I know that we have given each other Light and Love when we needed it. I know that we will always be onelove. I am grateful for this.
      To tell the truth, the reason why I blog and shed Light is because I have hurt others and wish to take that pain away. It is no mistake that most of the inmates in prison suffered abuse as children. I see it as my duty to cultivate compassion for the rest of my life since I lived so long without it. Hearing your kind words encourages me that I am on the right path. We may not be able to take pains of the past away, but we can certainly prevent them from happening in the future.
      {{{hugs}}} Kozo

  23. Geo Sans says:

    a friend

    posted a wonderful

    story today

    on Facebook

    ~

    ~

    your post

    made me think

    of this one

    • Kozo says:

      Wonderful story, Geo Sans. Thanks for sharing. I would say that some of us need to be crumbled and dirtied to realize our true worth. {{{Hugs}}} Kozo

  24. Alison says:

    love and hugs right back to you
    It’s all only love underneath. we’ve just forgotten. and now we’re all remembering. what a wonderful time to be alive. i sometimes think we all went through the things we did in order to have direct experience of discovering forgiveness and compassion for others.
    xoxoxox

    • Kozo says:

      I agree 100% Alison. I was actually meditating and studying Buddhism when I was 12 years old. But it took me years of hardship to finally understand compassion. I believe we can’t experience compassion by reading the Dalai Lama’s books. We need to live life and come to compassion through our own experiences. I am grateful for these experiences now, although at the time it didn’t feel too good.
      I’m looking forward to reading your post on Vietnam as soon as I get the kids out of the bath. {{{Hugs}}} Kozo

  25. Eileen says:

    You truly have a tender compassionate heart, that is a witness to the healing love can bring. Thank you for taking time to read and respond so thoughtfully to an old lady’s blogs. You are passing love on to me and to many.

  26. Sunshine says:

    the Australian mother who asked that love be poured over her daughter’s killer, can only come from someone living on a higher level than most average people. enlightenment begins when we finally learn to step outside ourselves no matter the pain/cost to embrace what good is in each person. thank you, Kozo, and thank you to your abusive step-father & stand-around-ignoring- everything, mom. they made you become the good you are today. ☼sunLOVE+HUGS to you ♥

    • Kozo says:

      Sunshine,
      You brought tears to my eyes. You thanking my parents made me realize how important they were in me becoming who I am today. Also, the fact that you were thanking them made me grateful for how many amazing individuals there are in the world. I am so blessed to have you in my life. “Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy.” {{{hugs}}} Kozo

      • Sunshine says:

        i’ll bring tissue next time, Kozo…hehe…did you see the movie with Madea when she/he went to prison? i remember one scene, never will forget it, Madea lectures a bunch of prisoners during a counseling share session. tells them they cannot blame anyone or anything for their current condition. something like that…not that you were blaming your past…i just like the message that we become who we are because of our past but it does not have to be a bitter person but actually best to become the better person we were made to be. hmm, think i will go now & watch that movie again. 🙂

      • Sunshine says:

        john denver…too early to pass on…

  27. 1EarthUnited says:

    Hi Kozo, very sorry to hear about your childhood. I could never comprehend why anyone would want to abuse an innocent child… unless of course they were abused themselves. The subconscious mind is a powerful demon suppressed, so it’s heartening to hear you’ve cleaned house and exposed all the “ugly” secrets, forcing your conscious mind to deal with it and change. Thank god you’re man enough to break the cycle and the whole world is better for it. Kozo, you’re the most courageous person I know, and I’m privileged to be your friend.
    Your blog is just as important and powerful as any of the “big time” gurus, the central message being: peace within = peace everywhere. Cultivating peace must be a daily practice and you have given us the valuable tools & inspiration to do just that! ♥ I so LOVE YOU for that.♥

    On a lighter note, I envy you growing up in the 80’s. It’s like you have a ready made soundtrack to your life! The music back then was so meaningful and rich, we can all relate to the thoughts, emotions, imagery, experience from that timely song. I could visualize you riding around singing with your fist in the air like that last scene in the Breakfast Club, lol.
    Thanks for sharing The Who with us, Quadrophenia is an epic album, and the song track is just f**’in perfect for this post – ROCK ON DUDE! ✌ ☼ ✌

    • Kozo says:

      Maddy, in my mind, you did grow up in the 80s. You have such a visceral feel for the music. Yes, I did raise my fist like John Bender while listening to Simple MInds “Don’t You Forget About Me.” I also have punched my own shoulder after writing a really good essay like Brian and can still dance just like Molly Ringwald.

      My step-father grew up in Old School Hawaii. He was beaten worse than he beat me by his Uncle since his father was no where to be found. I vowed never to hit my children like I was hit. Once in college, I raised my hand as if I was going to backhand my girlfriend. I knew then that Ally Sheedy’s character was right; that being like our parents is “unavoidable.” I started then to work on my anger issues. I’m still a work in progress, but I now see the power of compassion trumps coercion always. I’m definitely breaking the cycle when it comes to my sons.

      To tell the truth, Maddy. I don’t think I would have been able to write these posts without friends like you. I know that the bond we share is real. I know that you will be there to read and support my confessions. I know that you will still love me, no matter how small, beaten, or broken I’ve been. I am so grateful for your love and friendship. {{{hugs}}} Kozo

      • 1EarthUnited says:

        Kozo, u’r so awesome we all love you just the way u R- to borrow from the great Billy Joel. I’m so happy we can help each other evolve spiritually along this path. We truly are one love!
        My boyfriend & I are jammin’ to 80s hardcore & punk scene, showing me a world I never knew existed. I so wanna slam dance/ stage dive!! The energy is thru the roof, so cathartic everything gets left at the club. Did you ever get into Punk? {{{hugs my bbf}}} ♥

      • Kozo says:

        Buzzcocks, Dead Kennedys, and The Clash were favorites. I also banged my head to some later punk like Bad Religion.
        Used to put eye liner on and slam dance/stage dive at midnight showings of Dance Craze. Was more into Ska. I think I was drawn to the inter-racial aspects of ska.
        Hate to admit it, but I was also a huge Adam and the Ants fan which was kinda counter Punk. Many punks used to wear shirts that said, “Black Flag kills Ants Dead.”
        The 80s were a great time to be in high school. Thanks for reminiscing with me. {{{hugs}}} Kozo

      • 1EarthUnited says:

        Excellent taste in music Kozo! I like Jello Biafra’s stance, that anyone with a message, 3 chords & attitude can start a punk band, lol. Sounds about right, in the 80’s rasta-reggae punk band Bad Brains played in Germany to a packed club full of hardcore skinheads! Goes to show the love of music triumphs over hatred every time. Thank god for genuine artistic expression. {{{hugs}}}

  28. You already gave me the Hug with this post. Thank you 🙂

  29. jessicanix says:

    I was never physically or sexually abused, I was simply… isolated, among a few other things. I’ve moved on, I’ve forgiven, and I’ve healed. But the other day when my Psych teacher brought in a guest speaker to talk about her harsh past, I was still shaking by the end of it, still felt a bit ill, still frightened by how well I could understand where she came from, despite the differences. It was enlightening day and it really helped me with the perspective she was able to give, but it was hard too.This is a beautiful post and the mother brings up an excellent point, the tragedy of such crimes is twofold, something broke that man at some point and no one helped him to heal. Thanks, Kozo, blessed be.

    • Kozo says:

      Yes, Jessica, we are all one. When one suffers, we all suffer. Your empathy with the guest speaker is admirable. I was not so nice in college. I love how you said, “Something broke that man at some point and no one helped him heal.” I, too, was broken, but was lucky enough to have a wife who was willing to help me heal. I feel like I owe the world for this. I want to help others heal, because one broken man/woman can break so many others, especially children.
      Thank you, Jessica. God Bless. {{{Hugs}}} Kozo

  30. electronicbaglady says:

    Kozo. you are just awesome
    Plus a Who fan — noting better! “You get your back into your living” 🙂
    Many [[[hugs]]] for that post, my dear

    • Kozo says:

      Thanks, EBL. More of a Pete Townsend fan. For a period of time I thought I was a Mod trapped in a suburban American nightmare. I rode a “GS scooter with my hair cut neat. I wore my wartime coat in the wind and sleet.”
      Yeah, I was a confused little Asian kid. Now, I’m a confused big Asian kid. {{{hugs}}} Kozo

  31. I’m really heartbroken to hear about the abuse you suffered. I think I could sense it in you, though. I sometimes think that extremely wise people such as yourself had to experience all of the depths of human emotion. In order for one to truly understand love – they have to have experienced great pain. I understand how you feel more than you know.
    As for your experiences with racism & wanting to fit in…that breaks my heart even more. I’m an 80s baby myself and I know times were different back then but it hurts me to know how people acted towards you.
    I’m happy to hear that you’ve found love in many different forms and it has began to slowly heal some open wounds. We definitely all love you here – so feel that too. 😀
    P.S. The Who are a frigin’ awesome band. This is one of my favorite songs they did.

    • Kozo says:

      If Love Reign O’er Me is one of your favorite songs of the Who then we are definitely BBFs. I agree, DDiW, that going through trauma or tough times definitely causes growth and sometimes wisdom. It also can cause self-hate, anger, and a lack of empathy which lead me into some very dark places. Fortunately, I found love at the end of the tunnel.
      I can feel your love, which is why I’m so addicted to blogging. My cell phone bill went way down because I don’t talk to friends on the phone anymore. I just blog all day. Thank you for your empathy and understanding. {{{hugs}}} Kozo

      • I’m up tweaking (here’s that synchronicity thing again) my draft of the #B4Peace challenge & up pops a lovely comment reply from dear Kozo. Needless to say it made me smile and giggle. I love the part about your cell phone bill going way down.
        We all venture into the dark place sometimes, dear friend. That’s what makes the light at the end of the tunnel that much more bright…we go in alone – but we come out, together. 😉

      • Kozo says:

        That is so beautiful–we go in alone, but we come out together. I went in with nothing but ego, but I came out with onelove. I’m grateful for you holding a light for me. Have a wonderful night. Time for this Manny to go to sleep. {{{hugs}}} Kozo

      • Thank you for your friendship. It brings that kind of stuff out of me. 🙂 *hugs* Sweet dreams, BBF.

  32. Dieu says:

    It must take great strength to forgive those who have hurt you. I think it is so freeing to let go of any anger we have towards someone, because then, in that way, they no longer have any power over us. And that to love and be loved is the most powerful thing there is.
    {{{hugs}}}

    • Kozo says:

      Yes, Dieu, to love and be loved is the most powerful thing there is. I feel so blessed to love and be loved through blogging. I love your poetry. I feel love in your comments. Everything is is just details. Love is all there is.
      Interesting story about forgiveness. I used to be pretty self destructive–driving fast, surfing big waves, taking chances with life that I should have lost. After I forgave my step-father, I no longer felt the need for adrenaline. I became a calmer person. I think if I had not forgiven him, I would have killed myself somehow.
      Thanks for listening. {{{Hugs}} Kozo

  33. Our childhood are sometimes very messed up, the important part is being successful in turning the tide around. I ached reading your words as they brought back distant memories, and as I felt your pain in the words you wrote.
    The beauty is that you created a life and family dynamic that is the complete antithesis of how you grew up and your children do not have to live your childhood. Be proud of this very accomplishment for it is not easy to turn your childhood around….
    Giving you millions of hugs to try and erase those painful memories. 🙂

    • Kozo says:

      I agree, Anyes, that it is not easy to turn one’s childhood around, but at the same time I don’t want to blame my childhood for anything that I have done. I take full responsibility for all my mistakes. I have had wonderful teachers and friends along the way who have tried to guide me and heal me. I made choices that I regret and take full responsibility for those choices. This gives me the power to make better choices now and create the life I have always envisioned.
      Thank you for your kind words and support. Much love to you and your family. {{{hugs}}} Kozo

  34. vishalbheeroo says:

    Hi
    Respect. For having the courage to speak on what you’ve been through. It’s very courageous on your part and i feel numb.
    Cheers
    Vishal
    http://www.vishalbheeroo.wordpress.com

  35. kasturika says:

    To forgive is truly divine… I’m amazed by the mother’s ability to withstand all that, and still be able to forgive… Thank you for sharing… *hugs*

    • Kozo says:

      That story inspires me so much, Kasturika. I believe that we have a choice at all times, and how we choose defines us. This woman obviously made the choice that made her divine. {{{hugs]}} Kozo

  36. Lada Ray says:

    This is beautiful, Kozo! 🙂

  37. […] think a post by Kozo of Everyday Gurus (the part where he mentions the forgiveness of a mother towards the killer of her daughter) has a […]

  38. Jas Baku says:

    {{{{{Kozo}}}}} I can relate to the abuse part of your childhood ~ it seems to have brought out similar passions in both of us. Your “My purpose now is to give love to others who are searching. To help them realize the love within. I do this with my words, my smiles, my {{{hugs}}}, and my forgiveness.” Matches my decades old daily prayer “May I become a Protector for the Protectorless” (via Shantideva, Buddhist yogi). It works as well, doesn’t it. Opportunities to be there for others arise with unnatural frequency 🙂
    All power to your heroic deeds _(*)_

    • Kozo Hattori says:

      I love your daily prayer, Jas Baku. Yes, opportunities abound. Thank you for being the Catcher in the Rye. I have another saying, “Love all/Serve all,” which reminds me of what we are really here to do. Thank you for your love and support. {{{hugs]}} Kozo

  39. ~meredith says:

    Reblogged this on Living is Not Mental Illness and commented:
    Beautiful.

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