Flash Forgiveness

Road Rage*

Road Rage* (Photo credit: PDXdj)

Has this every happened to you? Someone cuts you off on the road and almost causes an accident. You get so outraged, you drive up next to this idiot and try to give them the “stink eye,” but they ignore you. You are so upset that you don’t see the car in front of you and almost cause an accident because you weren’t watching the road.

It happens to me all the time. I get so indignant when someone puts my life and the lives of my sons in danger. And why shouldn’t I? They are in the wrong. I am just minding my own business, and some maniac swoops in front me like a bat out of hell. “How dare they? Don’t they know who I am?”

The irony is that I put my life and the lives of my sons’ in danger by trying to seek justice for this violation. The real question I should be asking myself is “who am I to get so upset about something I am often guilty of myself?”

The Practice

For this Month’s Peace Challenge, I invented a new practice called Flash Forgiveness. Instead of jump to outrage and indignation, I am going to forgive instantaneously. I’m actually looking for opportunities to forgive. Like a fisherman waiting for a bite, I’m mindfully going about my day hoping someone will trespass against me. The instant they do, I yank back my ego, and start forgiving.

In the few short days I’ve been doing this practice, I’ve noticed that I hold a lot of grudges. I judge BMWs and Mercedes as being selfish and over-privileged, so when one does cut me off, I scream, “I knew it. BMWs are such dickheads.” I judge others on race, class, gender, and age. Young punks driving lowered Acuras race past me and my sons in the crosswalk; old Asian women in banged up Toyota Camrys drive way too slow, which puts my kids in danger by making me drive faster. Forgive, forgive, forgive.

By forgiving instantly, I inhibit prejudices that taint my interactions with others. If one type of person cheats me, by instantly forgiving them, I prevent myself from judging someone who looks like them in the future.

I also believe that this daily practice will help me heal deeper wounds. By practicing forgiveness at all times, I will make forgiveness my modus operandi. Maybe I will become addicted to forgiving.

The Inspiration

Fox bunny

No stuffed animals or children were hurt during this post

I have to admit that my youngest son instigated this practice. One day when I walked into his room where he was supposed to be napping, I was assaulted by a palpable aroma of fresh feces. I assumed he had poo-ed in his diaper, until I saw the dirty diaper on the floor with no sign of my son. He was playing hide and seek on my older son’s bed. There were “skid marks” everywhere. An unfortunate stuffed polar bear looked like the bunny in the bear in the woods joke–“Do you have trouble with pooh sticking to your fur?” asked the bear. “No, replied the white rabbit. “Good,” said the bear as he wiped his butt with the bunny.

I lost it. “FOXXX! What are you doing?” My head felt like a kettle getting ready to whistle. One of my friends used to get so mad that his eyes would bleed; I felt that angry. I got even more irate when I had to sniff everything to see where this “little shit” had sat. Every time I inhaled a soiled stuffed animal or patch of carpet, I would scream. Apparently, I was swearing, because my son was walking behind me singing, “Fox shit, shit, shit.”

My neck, shoulders, and head hurt for the rest of the day. I also beat myself up for losing my cool. “You meditate everyday, and this is the way you react to a minor mistake?” To top things off, my darling son made me regret all the anger I unleashed on him when he raised his palms to the sky and said, “I’m just poo poo train–ing, Daddy.” (Said like choo choo train, except in verb form.)

Deepak Chopra said that his life changed when he stopped being offended. Cleaning up this mess, I felt so offended. There are not too many things more offensive than raw feces. I realized that I never want to feel this way again. It is not good for my health or the well-being of my sons. So I came up with Flash Forgiveness which, in a way, is like never being offended.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and/or smiling.

Are you easily offended? Would you consider Flash Forgiveness? Why or why not? Please share.

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96 comments on “Flash Forgiveness

  1. Alison says:

    Who cares about raw feces? I love your raw honesty!
    And yes I know this one well. Trained well by my mother without her knowing that’s what she was training me in. If something’s “not right” get angry, get offended. I’m pleased to be able to say I’m better at catching it, and all the stories and judgements of the mind, before they get too much traction. Better than I used to be. That’s all. It’s an on going practice. There’s also self-forgoveness of course – an important piece.
    We all do the best we can.
    Hugs
    Alison

    • Kozo says:

      So right, Alison, about it being an ongoing practice and self-love being an important part. I should have mentioned that we also need to flash forgive ourselves. Just trying the best I can. {{{Hugs}}} Kozo

  2. prewitt1970 says:

    Good for you truly, πŸ™‚ I’ve practiced instant forgiveness and understanding for many years, not always very successfully but practiced none the less. So to answer the question yes, I support it completely.
    Namaste
    Benjamin

    • Kozo says:

      Benjamin,
      Practice seems to be the key word. It is a daily practice that needs time to sink in. I have spent so much of my life jumping to indignation, that I need to shift the scales with this new practice. Glad we are practicing together.{{{Hugs}}} Kozo
      p.s.
      Love your artwork. I tried to win the challenge today, but was a bit slow. πŸ™‚

      • prewitt1970 says:

        Thank you very much, next challenge I will tell Sue she can’t play πŸ˜€ I think she’s read my journey 1 & 2 inside and out. I really appreciate your philosophy and your time. Have a beautiful day.
        Benjamin

  3. Dieu says:

    I love the fresh and immediate honesty of your posts, Kozo. This one made me smile. I’m rooting for you! And what a great idea. I will think of “flash forgiveness” whenever someone rushes me to do something (a pet peeve of mine). Last week a woman pushed me onto a train when it was clear other people were trying to get off. I was so irritated!

    • Kozo says:

      So happy to know you are smiling, Dieu. Yeah, I would have been pissed if someone pushed me. I would have questioned if they would have done the same thing if I was a different race or gender. Actually, I would have probably “accidentally” stepped on their foot. haha. I really need to practice this flash forgiveness, because I tend to be over-reactive. Breathe, Kozo, breathe. Just thinking about this woman pushing you gets me upset. Let’s forgive together. Lovingkindness to all, even those impatient rude people. {{{Hugs}}} Kozo

  4. It always used to make me feel a little disappointed when I was driving with a certain someone who would yell and curse at drivers whenever they made a mistake. I would say, “you’re not doing anything by yelling and getting mad.. they already did it. it’s done. you’re just creating more negative energy with those comments.” Most of the time I was good about not getting mad when I was in the driver’s seat, but of course, I found myself guilty of it every now and then.

    Unfortunately, things have changed. I was in an accident (as a passenger) earlier this year and now my driving experience has completely changed. I get mad more often. I get mad at drivers who speed, drivers who look down at their phones or their radios while driving, drivers who follow too closely behind me, and drivers who wait for the last minute to hit the breaks. Before the accident, I use to be guilty of doing the first two. I try and tell myself not to get so angry and upset, but it’s REALLY hard. I think that it partially has to do with the fact that it’s a different kind of upset. I don’t get mad that they’re doing something TO me (i.e. cutting me off, almost hitting me), I get upset that they’re being dangerous. I get upset that they’re not being fair to all the drivers around them. I get upset that people don’t realize that speeding, texting, etc. is not worth it… that it’s one of the worst things you can do because you’re endangering the innocent lives of others as well as your own life. I feel sad for all the innocent lives out there on the road… it’s not their fault that they’re surrounded by drivers who don’t care about their safety. I wish that people would realize that nothing should come before safety when driving.

    Thanks for this post. I want achieve to Flash Forgiveness in this area… but it’s so hard to forgive someone when they’re not only endangering your own life but also all the lives that surround you. Any tips/thoughts? I think the fact that it’s still currently a personal/emotional struggle for me makes it harder for me to be open to full forgiveness and to see it in a positive way.

    • Kozo says:

      I couldn’t agree with you more, C. I get so upset when people speed through a school zone. It’s not just my kids I’m worried about, but any kid in the area. I don’t have any tips, but I am trying to flash forgive those people. Maybe we can send them the calming energy to slow down. I heard a recent study that people are less compassionate when they are stressed or in a rush. I am going to try to decrease the stress around me with my actions and thoughts. It might seem small and inconsequential, but if you do it with me, maybe we can make a difference. So happy to hear from you. {{{Hugs}}} Kozo

  5. I love this post Kozo! Esp.: “I will make forgiveness my modus operandi”. Excellent plan! I think anyone would have lost it about the poop, but what a memory. In time, I’m sure you will find it funny. Maybe not if it happens again, but in retrospect. And he is is a real cutie with a beautiful smile. You are very blessed!

    • Kozo says:

      Thanks, George. I am blessed. Even when I was going ballistic, I could not get too angry looking at that sweet face. It already is a pleasant memory. To tell the truth, I don’t worry as much about the crap hitting the fan, since I already experienced it. πŸ™‚ Thanks for reading and commenting. {{{Hugs}}} Kozo

  6. grandmalin says:

    We never like to watch a child throw a temper tantrum, maybe because it reminds us so much of our own πŸ˜€ Not sure about INSTANT forgiveness, but I know I’m slowly learning to be less offended by insignificant things that soon won’t matter, and less likely to ‘add fuel to the fire’ when someone else is on a rant. When we’re negative and judgmental and quick to take offense we don’t feel good about anything, least of all ourselves. So yeah, stop spreading those negative vibes. lol Great post Kozo.

    • Kozo says:

      Grandmalin,
      You know exactly what to say when I need to hear it. Yes, I do get so upset when my 5 year old throws a tantrum. Sometimes I throw my own tantrum in response to his tantrum. I’ve been pulling my hair out dealing with his tantrums. Now I know it is a sign to look within. Control my tantrums if I want to weather his. Come to think of it, he probably learned how to throw a tantrum from me and my wife. πŸ™‚
      Thank you for your wisdom, AGAIN. {{{Hugs}}} Kozo

  7. Rohan 7 Things says:

    Great post Kozo and definitely something we could all aspire too! I’ll keep this in mind for sure and test it out πŸ™‚ I certainly don’t like the person I become when my ego is “offended”, time to forgive. As Epictetus says: β€œIt is not he who reviles or strikes you who insults you, but your opinion that these things are insulting.”

    Thanks for sharing, keep well! Hugs πŸ™‚

    Rohan.

    • Kozo says:

      Great quotation, Rohan. I really need to change my opinion about feces. haha. Let me know how your test run is going. I’ve been struggling a bit with my older son’s tantrums, but I am still practicing is best I can. Will keep you updated. {{{Hugs}}} Kozo

      • Rohan 7 Things says:

        Me too Kozo, lot’s has come up for me and it’s been tricky to fit in my daily naps. I do it when I can and can report that it definitely has a good effect, I think it even has a good effect on the days I don’t nap. I don’t seem to get so tired during the middle of the day πŸ™‚

        Rohan.

  8. Well said Kozo. I like what Deepak Chopra said about stopping to be offended. I am not easily offended, but I must admit to having my moments.

    • Kozo says:

      Yeah, Esperanza, Deepak emphasized the NEVER get offended. I have my moments as well, which is why I’m trying to practice on the small things. When the big things come, I will be more adept at handling them. Thanks for reading and commenting. {{{Hugs}}} Kozo

  9. merbear74 says:

    Kozo,
    My daughter clogged the toilet the other day, and instead of getting angry, I just went in the bathroom, plunged, and then set on cleaning toxic poo water from my bathroom floor. I didn’t cuss. I didn’t yell…I just did what I had to do. My daughter was standing there waiting for me to go off on her, but I just smiled a bit. No sense getting pissed over spilled crap. So I would say that I practiced flash forgiveness.Your son is adorable. πŸ˜‰
    Mer

    • Kozo says:

      LOL, “no sense getting pissed over spilled crap.” You crack me up, Merbear. We need to print that t-shirt. Great work on the toilet job. I bet it had a lasting effect on your daughter to not get punished for something that she thought she was going to get hammered for. Like I said before, you are a great mother. {{{Hugs}}} Kozo

      • merbear74 says:

        Thank you Kozo! I will send you a shirt that says that after I get my bloggers for peace shirt. πŸ™‚ {Hugs}

      • 1EarthUnited says:

        LOL Luv potty humor, not the clean-up tho, haha. Hey Kozo, this could be your new proverb, “…Hate the Crap, but Love the Crapper.” πŸ˜‰
        We should hook up with Rara and design this bad boy. I can envision this T on every toddler, disarming parental tempers everywhere! β™₯ Poo for Peace β™₯

  10. I so get this and need to follow suite!

  11. KM Huber says:

    Yet another stunningly honest as well as instructive post, Kozo, I think you’re really onto something with flash forgiveness for you are accepting what has occurred, knowing it cannot be changed, and essentially working with it rather than taking offense. Thank you for this healing and peaceful practice.

    Karen

    • Kozo says:

      I love how you put that, Karen. As you know acceptance is huge for Jeff Foster. I guess if we embrace each moment for what it is, there is no need to take offense. {{{Hugs}}} Kozo

  12. You know what i started doing? I started announcing ” I’m very upset right now, and I’m going to lash out and say mean things I will regret later” and the hubby and even my dog learned to walk away. I don’t have kids but my dog is a rescue dog and when she misbehaves or acts up i get sooo angry. Cause after a year and a half of trying to train her, i realized she is just stubborn. I’m calling her over, she looks at me and sits down very defiantly. It drives me nuts. But, she is 7 years old and was mistreated most of her life. She isn’t a bad dog. So me instantly screaming at her isn’t going to help her be obedient either. The lashing out isn’t really rewarding and the guilt and hurt is someone’s eyes is far more long lasting.

    • Kozo says:

      I love that, Tasha. I love how your hubby and dog walk away and let you vent. I totally agree that the guilt and hurt is long lasting. Instantly forgiving will hopefully prevent these lashings out. Thanks for the tip. I might have to use it at my house. Hopefully, my son will be potty trained before he is age 7. πŸ™‚ {{{Hugs}}} Kozo

  13. Your son is adorable, look at that face πŸ™‚

    When I’m annoyed at being cut off in traffic, or what I perceive as rudeness in other ways…I just think – I have no idea what that person is going through, there must be a reason for their behaviour so it’s not really forgiveness..more connection I guess?

    • Kozo says:

      Brilliant, Annie. Yes, if we see ourselves as all one, there is no need to forgive. The true response would be lovingkindness for their pain. It reminds me of Tonglen. Those people who seem to offend us are actually opportunities/invitations to deepen our hearts and compassion. You are so wise, Annie. Thank you. {{{Hugs}}} Kozo

  14. Melanie says:

    We were on the same wavelength this week. We can’t control the actions of others, but we can control our reaction to it.
    New parents really should be given better warnings of the messes coming from kid poo. First you got the dumptruck loads in newborn diapers, then toddler poo in the tub, and at some point poo inevitable becomes paint. It’s really, really should come with better warnings.

    • Kozo says:

      LOL, Melanie. Have had all those experiences. The problem is that my older son was so good about potty training. He was potty trained by 2 years old. My younger son seems to enjoy hearing me yell, “Oh No! FOOOXXX.” His favorite saying is “not again.”
      Trying to control my reactions just like you said. Problem is when I try to take deep breaths, I smell feces. πŸ™‚ {{{Hugs}}} Kozo

      • Melanie says:

        My kids did just the opposite. My oldest dragged her feet, and my youngest just about trained himself.
        I hope the poop smell dissipates quickly. There is nothing pleasant about it at all.
        Good luck! *hugs* (double *hugs* cuz the poop monster will probably rear its ugly head a few more times before he gets over the fun of making you mad – maybe if you didn’t react, not one bit, not in the face, actions, or words it wouldn’t be fun anymore?)

  15. fgassette says:

    I love your post. It is honest, amusing and full of wisdom and counseling. I love the idea of flash forgiveness. It is easy and when practiced daily, it becomes a habit. In the end it will be good for our heart, mind and spirit bringing us to good health. THANK YOU for your words. Thank you for listing my blog.

    BE ENCOURAGED! BE BLESSED!

    • Kozo says:

      Thank you, Francine. I loved your post on forgiveness. For some reason, that statue in the photo kept popping up in my head while I wrote my post. I agree that flash forgiveness is good for our heart, mind, and spirit, but it is also good for those around us. You encourage me and make me feel blessed. {{{Hugs}}} Kozo

  16. kasturika says:

    I used to lose my cool a lot earlier… I have now become a lot calmer than before – and I get the feeling that blogging has helped. I was told that keeping calm helps reduce hair fall! Great incentive to stay cool πŸ™‚

    • Kozo says:

      Haha, yes, great incentive, Kasturika. I agree blogging helps. I could make these promises to myself, but I would probably break them. By posting a challenge to myself, I feel obligated to follow through since I am letting all my BBFs know about it. {{{Hugs}}} Kozo

  17. Sarah says:

    Does it make me a better or worse friend that my first impulse is to say something offensive so that you get to practice your flash forgiveness?! Sorry! It’s the first thought in my head. Another awesome post, Kozo! Aren’t our children such perfect teachers? I am eternally grateful that my husband and I (after 8 years of blissful DINKdom) decided to change our minds and have kids. I would have missed the greatest adventure of all. Big hugs to you, my friend. xoxo

    • Kozo says:

      Haha, Sarah. You made me smile instead of feel offended. You can always say offensive things to me since we are BBFs. Yes, children are my biggest gurus. I thank God everyday for the privilege to be a father. I’m so glad you made the right decision for you. It is a wonderful adventure isn’t it? {{{Hugs}}} Kozo

  18. Kozo…it’s spooky how much I needed to read this post today. I have been noticing my instant anger about every little thing lately. I’m noticing my tendancy to hold grudges and to judge everyone else but myself. I also think our children teach us the biggest lessons in life. I love that your sweet little baby is teaching all of us bloggers to practice flash forgiveness. Brilliant!!!!!

    • Kozo says:

      Glad you got the lesson without the smell, Jennifer. haha. Yes, I don’t know what happened at the start of March, but I started to get more judgmental myself. I could just feel the impatience. Might have to do with spring. Flash forgiveness also teaches me patience. Let’s make a pledge to stop judging and start forgiving. {{{hugs}}} Kozo

  19. I need some flash forgiveness Kozo because it has taken me all day to get to read this! I have seen the post in my email all day and intent on seeing what my friend has to say today. Here it is 6:30 and I finally got to it! Great idea and advice. Thank you for sharing and know I am listening! YOU are the man!

    • Kozo says:

      You don’t need forgiveness, Jon, because I don’t get offended. haha. I really appreciate how you read and reply to my posts in such a timely manner. You are such a giving blogger. I see your thoughtful comments on so many blogs everyday. Thank you for that. {{{Hugs}}} Kozo

  20. diannegray says:

    Kozo – your son is absolutely adorable! I just want to give him a big cuddle πŸ˜€

    When one of my children was very young (I won’t say which one to save them embarrassment) they ‘painted’ their wall with their poo in our new house (brand new house!) I was furious. I basically said the same thing as you, but they came back with ‘that’s a picture of baby Jesus’ πŸ˜‰ Good grief! Church has never been a bit part of our lives so I don’t how baby Jesus came into the picture (literally)! I then felt really bad wiping it off because it was a masterpiece. I look back and think how important that wall is to me now and it doesn’t even rank a mention as ‘important things in my life’. It think about this every now and then and when something happens that isn’t going to have a profound and long lasting effect, I just sweep it away.

    On a side note and speaking of driving – you would have been proud of me on Tuesday (in a round about kind of way). I was pulled over by the police who were standing on the side of the road stopping all the cars in a random drivers licence/car checks. The policeman said to me, ‘madam, do you realise you’re driving an unregistered vehicle?” WTF – no I wasn’t. I said, ‘this vehicle runs out of rego at the beginning of March!” He said, “Madam, it’s mid-March.” Oops! I’ve been so busy with the RUC and everything else going on in my life I didn’t even know what date it was. How embarrassing. I actually thanked him and told him I really appreciated (and deserved) the fine. It was a reminder to me to ground myself instead of worrying about every other superfluous thing that is happening around me. He told me I was the most forgiving and happy person he’d ever booked in his long career! πŸ˜€

    • Kozo says:

      Haha. How can you get upset about a picture of baby Jesus? I guess the manger wasn’t as clean as the pictures we see in church. I love the perspective of thinking about what really matters or has long lasting effects. Sometimes our anger will have longer effects than the offense.
      Also, you are a champion for thanking the officer for the citation. I don’t know if I could put on my gratitude journal “Thank you for the traffic ticket.” haha. So glad you were seen for who you are, Dianne–the most forgiving and happy person in Australia. {{{Hugs}}} Kozo

  21. Love the idea and motivation behind your post (: As always, your son is precious. A tad sad, and disturbing for that poor bunny..
    I remember the first time I had to clean my cat’s litter box and it definitely was one of the few most offending things a person could do. But then he’s still my baby at the end of the day. Let’s just be glad that at least feline’s poopoo-trainings are picked up as infants, otherwise I could very well be snooping into my pantry for feces.

    • Kozo says:

      haha. Just wait Sarah, I’m sure you will have your experiences when you and Trent decide to have babies. πŸ™‚ Thanks for reading and commenting. {{{Hugs}}} Kozo

  22. Sandy says:

    Can’t begin to tell you how much I love, respect and appreciate your honesty! Very well expressed! And a great idea! Much Love, Sandy

    • Kozo says:

      Thanks, Sandy. I’m trying to be as honest as possible so I can actually get to the root of the problem. I had a great week last week, but I guess hearing great speakers doesn’t bring inner peace.:(
      Thanks for reading and commenting. {{{Hugs}}} Kozo

  23. Geo Sans says:

    My wife used to “tail-gate”

    anyone that cut her off

    ~

    after a few times

    I asked her to pull over

    I got out

    and went home

    ~

    I value my life too much

    to be jeopardized

    in extreme emotional conditions

    ~

    she never

    tail gated again

    ~

    (at least with me in the car)

    • Kozo says:

      What a great example of passive resistance, Geo Sans. I have to come up with similar ways to deal with my frustrations. Maybe I will dress my kids up as targets and walk them to school, so people will understand that speeding in a school zone is putting their lives in danger. i could also do the trick of putting a doll in a stroller and letting them hit it. You really got me thinking. Thank you. {{{hugs}}} Kozo

  24. Beautiful writing and so real Kozo. I would/could understand losing your cool in such circumstances. I admire how you saw that it not was the real solution and how you decided on the spot to change, to adapt and how you came up with flash forgiveness! What an amazing concept. Brilliant. As usual when I come here I leave filled with plenty to ponder.Thank you for your kind words and your hugs, they mean a lot πŸ™‚

    • Kozo says:

      Trust me, Anyes, it was real. I have the stains to prove it. πŸ™‚ I just read an article that when we smile we are less likely to be racist and judgmental. So I am adding a smile to my Flash Forgiveness practice. I’m glad you can feel the hugs. Hope today is going better for you. {{{Hugs}}} Kozo

      • I do feel the hugs and need them too…Darling Daughter went to a “celebration of life” for the 14 year old brother of one of her close friend. It is hitting us hard, I have so many unanswered questions in my head feeling confused and off balance
        Hugs are most welcome Kozo πŸ™‚

  25. Ian Gudger says:

    Wow. What a great blog post! I laughed. I hurt inside with you. Anger stinks! I hate loosing my cool, too. It’s funny I seem to keep my cool amazingly in some situations, but in others it is very difficult. When I was a teacher, it seemed like anything could happen in the classroom and with students and I could keep my cool for the most part. But when it comes to family stuff something triggers a temperament that I regret. I love the idea of Flash Forgiveness. Thanks for sharing. πŸ™‚

    • Kozo says:

      So true, Ian. Something about family makes all the rules change. I never get this angry. Well, maybe when I was younger and I wanted to fist fight. But since I passed middle age, I never got this angry. The funny thing is my younger son is such an angel. I usually get frustrated with my older son who is 5–tough age. So I felt even worse for having lost it with my younger son who just doesn’t know any better. Hopefully, flash forgiveness will make my family ties stronger rather than allow anger to damage them. Thanks for sharing. {{{Hugs}}} Kozo

      • Ian Gudger says:

        I am sure it will help. I completely understand how hard 5 year olds can be. I taught Kindergarten for a year. Toughest. Class. Ever. I learned a lot though. One of my favorite parenting-teaching philosophies is Love and Logic. Have you hear of it? It goes right with you idea of Flash forgiveness.

  26. theINFP says:

    In today’s world of fast food, fast cars and fast love, why not fast forgiveness? Well done Kozo πŸ™‚

  27. What an honest post Kozo and a great idea too. When your son said that to you it reminded me of a saying “and a child shall lead them” They often do lead us don’t they?

    • Kozo says:

      MIne definitely lead me, Athena. I am grateful for the lessons they teach. I just need to control my reactions so I can see the lessons. Thanks for reading and commenting and re-tweeting. {{{Hugs}}} Kozo

  28. 1EarthUnited says:

    Kozo you’re a genius! Flash forgiveness is awesome “waking” meditation put to practice every single day. This is mindfulness manifested in form, and we can look for and anticipate these opportunities all the time. ☼ Wow, that’s this illusive “awareness” that gurus talk about, but so difficult to put to practice. Kozo my dear friend, I believe you’ve just cracked the code to everlasting Peace… or at least temporary sanity! Ha! ☼
    Ok, on behalf of all the Mercedes drivers out there, I do apologize… yes we are an arrogant lot. Yes deep down, honestly, we do feel privileged and entitled. And yes guilty, I do drive like a maniac *possibly putting others at risk* because I needed to get there yesterday. But hey, I’m a New Yorker and we all drive like the Daytona 500. Alas that’s no excuse.
    So… I solemnly swear to drive like a lady when I’m in your neck of the woods. That’ll be my meditation, not to piss the crap outta the peasants – just kidding big guy! πŸ˜€ β™₯

    • Kozo says:

      Haha, I flash forgive you, Maddy, for driving like a Mercedes maniac. πŸ™‚ We are all one, so that Mercedes is mine as well.
      By the way, I just read an article that said when we smile we are less judgmental and prejudice, so I’ve added smiling to the flash forgiveness practice. It is like taking a photo: smile, flash, forgiveness. I think I will do a supplemental post on this.
      Also, your idea for the t-shirt is brilliant. I would say, “Hate the Poo, not the Pooper.” This could really take off. I feel like you, Merbear, and I just had a beautiful baby together. {{{Hugs}}} Kozo

  29. […] of one huge consciousness if it weren’t for dodgy communication.Β  It also reminded me of this wonderful post about forgiveness.Β  With the help of these thoughts, I managed to handle the situation without […]

  30. Beautiful inspiration, Kozo: Flash Forgiveness! Kudos! β™₯ tomas

  31. Sunshine says:

    Oh, dear…this reminds me of a quote I read…something about our greatest teachers are the ones that cause us the greatest grief. Thank the Universe for great teachers like your son. ❀
    Thank you, Kozo. πŸ™‚

    • Kozo says:

      I’m lucky, Sunshine, because my teachers cause me the greatest grief and the greatest joy. πŸ™‚ I seriously can’t stay mad at my 3 year old. He’s too squeezable.
      p.s. My wife has vitamin D deficiency, so I told her to read your blog. πŸ™‚
      {{{Hugs}}} Kozo

      • Sunshine says:

        i like that…”too squeezable.” that is sooooo cute! (on the other hand, your child is going to really love you when he sees his pinup pic πŸ™‚ out in cyber space…ha ha.)

        thanks for sharing your wonderful family, Kozo. {{{squeeze!}}}

  32. PaulaB says:

    Irish has been teaching me patience & forgiveness this week. Her being in heat and my sister’s white carpets have been a constant pain. It’s not HER fault I have to put underwear on her…not HER fault I have to put my coat on at 11 o’clock at night now to let her out…just when I wanted to go to bed. Your post always give one alot to think about Kozo …great stuff πŸ˜‰

    • Kozo says:

      Eeesh, Paula. White carpets are bad enough (ours are now taupe colored), but white carpets at a house you are staying at. I feel for you. Maybe you can teach your sister how to flash forgive for when Irish makes a mistake. {{{Hugs}}} Kozo

  33. Tracy says:

    Your son is lovely, what a brilliant smile! There are so many things that can bring out our inner unrest Kozo and if we stop to think about it, most of them are pretty trivial. Ok, cutting you up on the road isn’t trivial and having to hunt down fluffy animals exposed to poo isn’t much fun either but the thing is these things happen and the more we can avoid reacting to them in the first place, the more relaxed and peaceful our lives become. I like the flash forgiveness idea – let go of the anger before it takes hold of you. I also like to practice no reaction – easier for some situations than others – but can help maintain that inner peace πŸ™‚ Sending love and tranquility, Tracy

  34. Fantastic! The world needs more forgiveness! So many are out to even the score, the cycle must not repeat. You have a good heart my friend, I am looking forward to putting this flash forgiveness into practice. Thanks for sharing your wisdom. {{{HUGS}}} Nancy

  35. Eileen says:

    Many, many years ago, I read a book about praising in all things. When we built a house on a slab, the plumber put the pipe leading from the toilet slanting upwards toward the septic tank. Short of jackhammering the slab and replacing tile and toilets and other rooms’ floors there was no solution. After wishing horrible things upon the plumber for months, I began to “plunge and praise,” whenever the toilet began to back up. It didn’t do much for the plumbing, but it began to fill me with joy. When I ran into the plumber at the grocery later, I told him, “Thanks to you, God is getting much praise and I am having much joy.” He looked at me like I was a dangerous lunatic and fled.

    Sadly, I have spiritual senility and today when coping with a similar problem, I looked for someone to blame. The handiest target was my husband.

    Your post reminded me of a better response, long forgotten. Thanks.

    • Kozo says:

      Eileen,
      I love your term “spiritual senility.” I think we all suffer from this forgetfulness. I also love the idea of plunge and praise. Not just toilets, but life in general. Thank you for sharing this very powerful story of forgiveness. I will try to find a cure for our spiritual senility. {{{Hugs]}} Kozo

  36. […] Flash Forgiveness (everydaygurus.com) […]

  37. vision5d2012 says:

    Awesome practice, Kozo!!! What a find, eh? You are getting all this awareness of prejudice and judgments and grudges! Whoo Hoo! A treasure trove of stuff to acknowledge and release. Forgiveness is always instant, in my opinion. It happens in a flash. It’s the getting ready to release/forgive part that takes the time. I say: free fall is easy, it’s the prying the fingers off the bar that’s the hard part. Frankly, cleaning up pooh is pretty near the top of my list of things that would challenge my “enlightenment” to the max. Thanks so much for sharing your process with us. Your transparency and vulnerability are admirable. Blessings, Alia

    • Kozo says:

      Thank you, Alia. I just read your Performance at the Holodome Part II and Pregnant posts. I feel so much Lighter. I really believe that one day we will look back on our blog posts and say, “that is where we were sensing the change. Right there. Thank God we kept an open heart and listened.” Here’s to transformation. {{{Hugs}}} Kozo

      • vision5d2012 says:

        Yes, I know you are feeling the changes and writing them into existence each day on your blog, in your replies to comments and the many other communications spoken, unspoken, written and felt. All of it goes toward the collective transformation. Holding fast to your intention for world peace is making it so. Blessed be, Alia

  38. […] If I may side track for a moment, I have been thinking about how to respond to Kozo’s monthly Bloggers for Peace topic on Flash Forgiveness. […]

  39. […] Flash Forgiveness (everydaygurus.com) […]

  40. Bold Conversations says:

    Honestly I had to chuckle Kozo! Anyone who has or has had a child has some version of this story. And I for one remember having a similar response (my story included my dog – too graphic but you can imagine!). It wasn’t until later that I was able to see the absurdity of my reaction. I love your flash forgiveness practice. I’m keeping that in mind when I’m in traffic! Thanks Kozo!

    • Kozo says:

      Alicia,
      I don’t even want to think about your dog story. haha. Yes, I think the nature of life is that we need to be able to flash forgive, especially on the freeway. {{{Hugs}}} Kozo

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