“If in thirst you drink water from a cup, you see God in it. Those not in love with God only see their face in it.”–Rumi
In the past week, I’ve gotten into three arguments with three different people about faith, spirituality, and the law of attraction. All three of these people were close family members that I care about. In the arguments, my views were labeled as “insane,” “delusional,” and “desperate.” In my eyes, I lost all these arguments because I could not make the other person see what is so essential to my existence.
Since I’m practicing peace, I came up with five tips for conflict resolution:
- “I’d like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony.” Everyone is vibrating at a different tone. Like the keys on a piano, we are all part of the same instrument. Trying to tweak a B minor to sound like a C sharp will only bring discord. (I have no idea what a B minor or a C sharp is, but they sound like something I heard in Amadeus.) Try to harmonize with the vibration of others in a positive way. Like a simple call and response, you can empathize with their point of view and support them by echoing their feelings. “I know in your eyes I am acting irrationally, and I appreciate your concern.” Above all, don’t judge. There are higher and lower vibrations, neither is better. All are necessary to sing the body electric.
The man’s body is sacred, and the woman’s body is sacred;
No matter who it is, it is sacred;
Is it a slave? Is it one of the dull-faced immigrants just landed on the wharf?
Each belongs here or anywhere, just as much as the well-off—just as much as you;
Each has his or her place in the procession.–Walt Whitman
- Hug all humanity Rather than wrestle with the views of others, soften your heart and simply hug them with compassion. No matter what our words or actions my look like, we are all the same. We all want the same things. We are all just looking to be happy and free from suffering. There is no argument when we can see that we are all part of the same God.
- “Preach the Gospel at all times and when necessary use words.”–Francis de Assisi Don’t overestimate the power of words, and don’t underestimate the power of actions. Live your life as an example rather than use your words as a cattle prod. It takes more time and patience, but isn’t that what practicing peace is about? Words are like microwaves–quick, easy, but the heat does not last. Instead, marinate those around you with kindness and love, then slow cook them over time with tender compassion.
- Look inwardly–After all three of these arguments, I did some self-reflection. I realized that I was not practicing what I was preaching. I was not compassionate, empathic, nor accepting. I acted defiant, spoke harshly, and judged unfairly. I realized that the real argument I was having was with myself. Look inward and root out the doubts, insecurities, and negative emotions growing in your own garden before you sell your vegetables to others.
I’m wary of you
But you’re oblivious to me
I’m chained to your ego
And there isn’t a key
I play with emotions
But never my own
Don’t you recognize me
Try looking inwardly
- Let it Be Can’t have a post on peace and music without Lennon-McCartney. I love this song. I listen to it over and over. I sing the words out of tune. Yet I always forget to “let it be” in my daily life. Maybe I need a tattoo. Paul McCartney knew that humans have a tendency to forget which is why he repeats the chorus 41 times in this song.
For though they may be parted, there is still a chance that they will see
There will be an answer, let it be
Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be
Looking over this post, I realize that I am hungry and I need to listen to some music to quiet my soul. Thank you for reading, sharing, and/or smiling.
How do you resolve conflict with those you love? Please share.
- Worldly and spiritual wisdom (savedbygraceblogdotcom.wordpress.com)
- Positive Peace versus Negative Peace: A Few Quotes & Excerpts on How Real Peace and Understanding Might Actually Be Achieved (realtruelove.wordpress.com)
- Raising Energy Towards Peace (professionsforpeace.com)