WordPress: The Final Frontier

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Shift Your Perspective

Coming out of cyber-sleep always feels like a bad case of food poisoning. Lt. Kozo sat in the sanitizer chamber for the better part of an hour as every orifice convulsed and expelled whatever liquid was left in his body.

“I know this is just a ploy of the GenCorp. For all I know, I was only sleeping for five minutes,” thought the lone explorer hoping that the thought scanners were not activated yet.

Ever since the Toxic Meltdown, all exploration was executed remotely by lone explorers in 3D simulation chambers. Kozo knew that the reason they isolated the explorers was so the GenCorp would have full control of anything of value found by the “expendable” explorers.

You think you spent enough time in the shitter, Private. Not much different than when I found you unemployed on that ancient 5G network scalping soup kitchen tokens.

Kozo never knew where or when the Voice would invade his thoughts, but ever since his first cyber-sleep the Voice seemed to be inescapable.

Time to pay for all those Acai cocktails you are consuming, Grunt. Uplink to Cyber Sector 1701. You’re already three days behind on your exploration of World 1138–Code name WordPress.

Kozo entered the 3D simulator and began his search.

Transmission Interrupted–code NeXT99

Wake up, you minimum wage GIF file. Don’t think that I’m not going to require a full memory scan when you de-activate. You better have not cut the transmission manually or I’ll have your memory re-booted and the last thing you’ll remember is an infinite loop of my foot up your ass.

Kozo wiped the spittle off the touch activated terminal. He checked the floating screens surrounding him and everything looked vaguely familiar.

What did you find? And how can we monetize it?

The tiny metallic thought scanner raced around Kozo’s head like a mechanical bunny at the dog races that Kozo had seen in an archival YouTube museum.

Although WordPress has a healthy populace with access to resources, the core of the population does not seem interested in Multi-Terestrial Capitalism. I infiltrated a number of communication channels and very few of them attempted to download Cyber-credits from my account.

Much of the communication seems genuine and selfless, especially the likes and comments. Some of the royalty with “FP” status have huge followings, yet they mingle with even the most nascent of neophytes.

Is there a way we could exploit the communication channels to build a following to monetize? What if you looped the likes function or spidered the profiles and comments?

Many of the residents cloak themselves with avatars. There are some who exploit the like function unscrupulously, yet these seem to be the minority. Many of the inhabitants seem more concerned with helping others or sharing information for free. For example, a FP royalty member named Rarasaur simply tries to make others smile or improve their happiness quotient. She even offers free services to anyone who wants them. Others like Mindfulbalance, Enjoylifeforonce, and GoodMorningGratitude post daily reminders to enjoy life. This seems to make them enjoy their own life by helping others.

I think to monetize and exploit this sphere would be a huge mistake. You might extinguish some very unique life forms that might never exist in any other environment. Artists like Dieuonthegrass, Sthetic, and the subversive genius, NIKOtheOrb, need this space to create their magic. (I would put a probe on the last one. She seems to have access to classified information that she is distributing to the masses through diverse mediums in a revolutionary tone.)

You are not paid to think, drone. Sounds to me like you have been fraternizing with the natives. You better not go Kurtz on us or we’ll be sending out a Speaker for the Dead ASAP.

There is one thing I learned here that proved to be extremely useful.

Well, tweet it, moron.

It is simply that “connections are more important than sales.”

What in Cyberspace is that supposed to mean?

It just means that if you sever the connection, you have no sales–and NO CONTROL.

Transmission Interrupted–Attempt to re-link denied. Explorer Kozo is off the Grid. Last known location WordPress.com–Everydaygurus.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and/or smiling.

This post is inspired by the Weekly Writing Challenge: Shift Your Perspective. “This week, we’re challenging you to explore how different narrative modes affect your writing.”

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30 comments on “WordPress: The Final Frontier

  1. I am fairly new at WordPress and this tempt me to take the weekly writing challenge Kozo. Well done, I love this it reminds me of the Science Fiction books I used to read πŸ™‚

    • Kozo says:

      Take the challenge, Anyes. I find that when I get really uncomfortable writing in a manner that I’m not familiar with, I produce some interesting posts.
      Thanks for the comment and like. I look forward to reading your piece.

  2. jiltaroo says:

    You are amazing Kozo! Mind you, that sanitizing chamber is quite a concept I must say. Jen

    • Kozo says:

      Thanks, Jen.
      The image actually came from a time I had bad food poisoning in Guatemala, and I just sat in a shower stall for an entire night. TMI? Sorry about that.
      Thanks for the comment.

  3. I like this a lot! There is so much here, I feel like I’d have to read it five times to gather it all (which I just may..) and I used to get quite mad about people using the ‘like’ function to get followers. It was one of my biggest pet peeves. Now it doesn’t piss me off, but I don’t click on the avatars that I see over and over because I just think it’s kinda low πŸ™‚

    • Kozo says:

      Thanks, Jennifer. I read your mini post on mindfulness at least 3 times to keep reminding me to stay in the joyful moment. In fact, I just read it again before replying, so that makes 4 times.:)
      I did put a lot of geeky sci-fi allusions in there. One of my favorites is Orson Scott Card’s Speaker for the Dead. It is a wonderful book about forgiveness, lovingkindness, and empathy.
      Funny how you mentioned the people who hit like, because within seconds of putting up this post, I got a like. Of course, when I checked the stats, no one had clicked on the post yet. One of the things I’ve re-membered myself with through blogging and that I subtly tried to put in this post is to “do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” I try to practice that with everything I do on WordPress, which is probably why I’m writing such a long comment. Thanks for reading my whole post, then liking it, then commenting. haha {{{Hugs}}}

      • Haha yes yes! I wrote a post called “blogging as a mindfulness practice” after getting really pissed at the perpetual likers. You might like it if you didn’t see it yet. And on another note, I just saw Return of the Jedi lastnight for the first time and I still get a teary feeling when I think of Vader. Just thought I’d throw that in there, I am not the most well-read or well-watched sci fi person but when it hits it hits!! 😦 poor vader.

      • Kozo says:

        I’ll check out that post, Jennifer.
        The funny thing about the Star Wars series is that my 5 year old son is getting into it via legos, and he always asks me if Darth Vader or Anikin Skywalker are bad guys. I tell him that no one is bad or good, but people make bad and good decisions. I hope this makes him more compassionate and empathetic, but yeah, Vader was a good guy in the end. At least he gets to hang out with Obi Wan and Yoda now. haha

      • True, maybe he’ll get to do that projection thing and meet Leia. It’s so sad that he found out he had a daughter and never got to show her his good side! I hope Disney takes care of it πŸ™‚

      • Kozo says:

        Don’t count on Disney for anything except for marketing a ton of toys, t-shirts, party favors, etc. haha. No, I’m actually excited about the new Star Wars in 2015.

  4. NIKOtheOrb says:

    I tried to exploit the like button, by clicking on the like button for this post a couple hundred times, but I was thwarted. πŸ˜€ And I wanted to like this a thousand times before I even got to the part where you mentioned my blog. I thought, I had no idea the bloke had this in him. This is what I like most about your blog, I never know what I’m going to read when I click on your latest post. Your writing continuously surprises me, what’s more, it is entertaining and informative, humorous to the serious (but somehow always with lightness of tone). This was so cleverly done: a science fiction tone written like a veteran of sci-fi writing, the use of the familar world of wordpress interspersed with this imaginative world is nostalgic and comical, even the use of a different font to match the world of the story…all brilliant elements for what makes a classic piece of writing. You’ve completely captured the concept “shift your perspective” from the minutest detail with this post. Awesome, just awesome.

    And thank you for the mention (really, you’re too kind. :-D) ). But the spotlight is definitely on this great piece of writing. Thank you.

    • Kozo says:

      Niko,
      Thank you so much for the kind words. When I venture out into new territory, my insecurities often resurface, so it means the world to me that you “got” this piece and all its nuances. I hope you don’t mind that I gave you up to the authorities. I didn’t mean to, but they had a thought scanner on me, and all I could think of was how revolutionary your blog was. I hope they don’t send us to The Roulette. ;o {{{Hugs}}}

  5. Loved that πŸ™‚ Your posts always make me smile.

  6. diannegray says:

    I love this, Kozo! I read it three times – you are brilliant! What a wonderful post for the challenge πŸ˜€

    • Kozo says:

      This means so much to me that a writer of your stature compliments my work, Dianne. I really admire your craft, so I am honored by your comment. Actually, I took your WIP It Good advice to heart and started writing other pieces while I’m writing my NaNo novel. This was one of the other fictional pieces I played with. Thank you for your guidance and comments. {{{Hugs}}}

  7. rarasaur says:

    Looove it! πŸ˜€ So funny, and I was right there with my geekiest hat on enjoying the ride. Thanks for the lovely mention, too. So kind!

  8. kz says:

    wonderful read! i was so hooked from start to finish!

  9. We must monetize. πŸ˜‰

  10. Dieu says:

    This is so cleverly done! I find writing fiction is so much more difficult to do than poetry, and you have executed this so well. It’s funny and yet communicates a message and incorporates WordPress culture with sci-fi and your own personality. I really enjoyed reading this, Kozo. You keep suprising us by revealing more of your talents with each post.

    • Kozo says:

      Dieu,
      Thank you for the kind words. I keep surprising myself. I really enjoy how the Daily Press challenges push me out of my comfort zone. I have to disagree with you about poetry and prose. You have so much more to consider–rhyme, pagination, alliteration, precise word choice. I don’t know how you consistently produce the pieces of art you do.

      • Dieu says:

        Awww, thanks Kozo. But really, I love how your posts offer entertainment with enlightenment while keeping it all light-hearted.

  11. eof737 says:

    This is hysterical…. I loved it! πŸ˜‰

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